Gone off partner now I'm pregnant...

[Sesamo]

I'm 9 weeks pregnant. DP and I have been together a relatively short time, 7 months in all. I have 3 young children from a previous marriage.

Since I've found out I'm pregnant I have completely gone off DP. It's got to the point where I almost feel like I don't want to continue with the pregnancy.

I'm feeling insecure about practical things, about how our blended family will work, and am questioning whether I even love DP. I can't stand the smell of him, his face, or the things he says. I know how awful this sounds, it's truly horrible for DP and I feel like an utter bitch.

I do suffer terribly with hormones in pregnancy, but I can't work out whether this is whats going on or not?? Help!

This is a really difficult one, sometimes you do just go off people in pregnancy, but then this may be a question of can your relationship survive 9 months?

Did you feel like you loved him before you got pregnant, was this pregnancy planned?

I was in love with him before the pregnancy, the problems have been pretty much since I found out. No it wasn't planned.

He's really happy about the pregnancy and can't understand what's wrong with me.

I feel slightly better (emotionally) when I've eaten, but the rest of the time I just feel sick and exhausted.

Are you finding it difficult as you have other children too?

Is there anything specific you feel he is doing that is making you dislike him?

Please don't beat yourself up, this really may just be a case of hormones.

Are you generally feeling unhappy?

No nothing specific. He's being really really nice to me now which is making it worse ..

I'm really worried about how I'm going to cope with 4 DC and whether the new baby will negatively affect them... I'm feeling pretty on edge, ill and depressed...

I'm actually wondering whether I should get back together with my DC's father as I'm feeling so insecure financially... !

That really does not sound like a good idea!!

I think you need to see your GP for some advice.

I think it sounds like you are depressed, OP. For a lot of people that makes them go off sex (and people in general) really badly, and pregnancy hormones can set off a bout of depression.

I think you should talk to your GP about it, and not make any big decisions right away, but remember that you totally CAN split up with him if you want, and you CAN decide not to continue the pregnancy. You're not stuck, and you are still in control of who you're with and what you do.

Can I just tell you my story - it's a bit similar. I was pregnant last year by a boyfriend of five months. He's a wonderful man and we'd been friendS for a few years before. We planned to have a baby but a few weeks in began to actually dislike him. He irritated me, and I found his smell repulsive - the works. I began to panic about having a babu with him. I went from being certain about having a baby to considering a termination in the space of a week. I was so depressed about how sick i was that I think this had a very negative impact on my perception of having a baby. The early pregnancy was such hell and i started to have such doubts about my partner that I had a termination. We split up a few weeks later. Although I Agonised over the decision I still feel like it was made in a moment of huge vulnerability. Apparently being turned off your partner is very common in the first trimester and panicking about practicalities is normal, I think. A few months later we got back together and I'm now pregant again and feeling much more positive even though I'm more sick this time round. I feel torn about my decision still. I often think it was the right thing because i didn't want to start a family with someone who I wasn't sure was the right father. But now I realise the timing was wrong but the man was right and I have no doubts anymore. I think you have to try and identify the source of your doubt before making a decision. IT seems normal to have a wobble given the circumstances but perhaps you just need to be clear with yourself about what you're really worried about. I feel like I made a very big decision in a moment of emotional disarray. Hope that helps. Good luck xxx

I completely turned on my partner of nearly two years about a week after I found out I was pregnant with twins. Everything he did irritated me, he repulsed me. I'm two weeks away from having our baby girls, and I still feel exactly the same if not worse. I live back with my mum and am dreading having to see him daily when they're born. He is the nicest bloke you could ever meet. But you literally can't help your feelings. Doesn't help that I still love my first twin boys father either. Mess mess mess!
I totally understand how you're feeling, I hope it doesn't run as deep as me is all I can say and I hope it's just your hormones xx

Thank you so much guys, that's really helpful