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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Loooong early labour with second baby - anyone else? Feel so frustrated and alone :(

8 replies

donkeyonesie · 21/01/2015 11:45

Started getting niggles in the early hours 2 days ago at 37+3. Woke in morning to find a bit of a show, and was having spectacular bowel movements (have suffered with the opposite most of pregnancy) so thinking "good, this is the beginning". Contractions were regular and painful all day, every 10 minutes, then when DC went to bed went down to every 5 minutes, getting stronger, longer and more painful. Went into hospital when they were 3 minutes apart, got checked and told I wasn't dilated at all, which was a total surprise. Back home, decided to try and get some sleep (after having remained very active all day thinking it was good for labour - and besides with DC you don't have much choice), then the next morning (yesterday) had a few irregular contractions before they fizzled out completely. So annoyed. Then went to bed after some 'adult time' with DH and lo was woken every 10 minutes in the night with painful contractions, thought at 5am it was getting a bit much so hopped on birthing ball with tens machine, then had to get DC up for school etc and they have gone back to being irregular (though still painful). I am SO frustrated. I thought second babies were meant to just fall out?!

With my first I went into labour with the same sort of contractions at 38+5, and baby was born 24 hours later, so I was expecting the same, not this utterly knackering process of stop start. I feel so unsure of things now, like I don't trust myself. I feel like I won't know when it's actually the real thing. It's crap and I was just after a bit of support really. I'm aware it could still be WEEKS given that I wasn't dilated at all when checked, and it just seems so daunting to go on like this in such discomfort.

OP posts:
fattymcfatfat · 21/01/2015 12:53

I was in labour for 2 weeks with my dc2. (Was actually 18days but yeah). I went in when contractions where 3 mims apart and was told I was only one cm. Got sent home and everything stopped. I was start stop constantly until the day I gave birth! When I was finally 5 cm so able to stay in. I think the stress of not dilating (again as I didnt with dc1 but had a much worse time) was what was causing he hassle then when I was able to stay in I was much more relaxed and it was soo easy! I was only pushing for seven minutes! I finally gave birth at 40 +1 but had started at 37 + 5

donkeyonesie · 21/01/2015 13:55

This is exactly what I think has possibly happened for me. I was booked to have a home birth but then realised I couldn't with DC around so that's why I decided to go in. As soon as she indicated I wasn't dilated, everything literally stopped straight away! It started up but irregular again in the car but I just felt so gutted. All I wanted to do was settle into hospital and feel relaxed so I could progress - which I couldn't do at home as DC's presence stressed me out too much. Now I feel like I'm going to be stuck like this forever. I realise I couldn't have stayed in, though the way she described my cervix was "like a lady's who's had a baby before" so whether that meant there was some dilation but not enough I don't know. But I just feel as though if I could just be away from DC for a longer period it might start up properly as I'll feel free to labour, psychologically. As it is, I have no family or reliable friends close by. My mum came up which took 4 hours, I didn't call her until 4pm as I was unsure if it was labour, so she didn't get to me until after DC was in bed, and she left again this morning because I told her it could be weeks and I think she wasn't best pleased at being dragged up here (and the expense) for nothing. This situation stresses me out too. DH and I have decided the best thing to do is if I feel I really need to go in, I should go in alone and have them check if I'm dilated, then if anything is happening he'll have to arrange some sort of emergency childcare, but chances are I'll have to do the whole thing alone, which I'm scared about and is probably another stress factor as to why I am likely to be in this situation for weeks. The contractions at night are exhausting me and I just feel like shit. Not how I imagined it might be (though didn't have a "plan" so to speak as we knew we weren't in a great position re: childcare). I just feel so miserable.

OP posts:
fattymcfatfat · 21/01/2015 14:39

When labour finally kicked in properly I had kicked oh out of bed for the night so I could get a more comfortable nights sleep. I had my ds running round and when he wanted to hold my hand to make me better in contractions it really didn't help! I finally managed to get a decent nights kip though and didnt wake oh until I needed gas and air and there was no way I was going without for any longer! My mum lives halfway between me and hosp so was lucky as in was able to drop ds off on the way! Fingers crossed it wont be long....justtry to relax....I went to bbirthday parties and everything in labour! I just tried to carry on as normal as possible. Which is difficult with contractions starting then stopping after a couple of hours!

weeblueberry · 21/01/2015 14:45

As soon as she indicated I wasn't dilated, everything literally stopped straight away!

Interestingly (possibly not for you OP sorry!!) we discussed this at my NCT classes during my first pregnancy. The leader mentioned that quite often when women go in and are told that they're either not dilated at all or are barely there, that the contractions stop and can stop for days. It's not that the contractions weren't there in the first place, just that the 'negativity' of being told you're not as far along as you thought you were can have that sort of impact on the birthing process. It can often happen too if you get a particularly rough or traumatic internal from your midwife/consultant.

I really hope it comes to a head for you OP. I can't imagine how miserable you must be right now - particularly with the added stress of having other children and having to potentially find childcare for them. Chin up lovely. Smile

knittingirl · 21/01/2015 15:02

Can your dh take charge of the kids this evening so that you can go and settle in a dim room, not-to-be-disturbed-under-any-circumstances, and really focus on your labour and get your mind in that zone? It sounds like things die down every time you're interrupted. I had a long early labour, and it was only when I stopped everything else, turned off the TV, radio etc, and did nothing but lie in bed, on my own, and focused on the contractions that things started to pick up.

Hang in there, the baby will come!

donkeyonesie · 23/01/2015 02:05

Went into MLU alone to get checked, they allowed me to stay for a bit to see if I progressed as was 3cm, 4 hours later baby arrived - DH only just got there in time to see! Grin I guess I just needed to be in my 'zone'.

OP posts:
Fluffeh · 23/01/2015 06:34

Congratulations x

fattymcfatfat · 23/01/2015 07:45

Congrats. Flowers

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