NCT women-only sessions?

[PerpetualStudent]

Anyone ever been to one? What do they cover, why do they need to be women-only?

Im just looking into booking a course, Im interested but my (male) DP is the real keen bean. The course that best fits my dates includes a 5 hour women-only session, while others that are aimed at those with slightly later due dates have just evening/weekend sessions to while birth partners are welcome.

I know NCT classes differ a lot by teacher, & Im going to book the later course if I can, but just wanted to get an idea of what a woman only session might cover i.e. why they see fit to exclude my DP from something we both want him very much involved in?

I seem to be with you in the minority here OP and whilst I do see the reasoning between not wanting to share details with men you don't know I think that there is no reason for men not to know things/ be present. So stitches, bleeding, leaky boobs etc might not be the nicest of topics but the partners are going to be there when you are cut/ tear, need stitches, when you're leaking milk etc. I only went to the nhs classes which were pretty brief but dp went to al

Pressed too soon! Dp went to all the classes too - including breastfeeding. He might not be doing it but it has really helped that he had a better understanding from the start as to potential complications etc but also the benefits, especially as none if his family bf and told me they didn't see the point so it was good to have his support.

" So stitches, bleeding, leaky boobs etc might not be the nicest of topics but the partners are going to be there when you are cut/ tear, need stitches, when you're leaking milk etc."

Yes, your own partner will be. But I think what a lot of women feel uncomfortable about is talking about this stuff in front of someone else's partner. It's bad enough in front of other women, but at least they are about to go through the same thing.

I think that the fact that so many women have said that they feel more comfortable with the women only session is probably why it exists. Like any group session, it has to be partially guided by majority preference.

The disparity of views here are probably why so many female only classes are offered. For those women who don't care about talking about these things in front of men they don't know, they can just tell their partner afterwards.

But for people who seriously aren't comfortable doing that (and to be honest I think that is the majority) it basically means that they lose an opportunity to discuss these things. They can't un-say those things to the men afterwards.

Personally I would be absolutely mortified having to discuss things like this in front of men I didn't know. I wouldn't want my partner there either. I don't consider it some kind of inalienable right for him to know every single detail as to what will happen to my body. I would rather have the opportunity to know the full picture - no matter how gory - and then tell him whatever I wanted him to know afterwards. Even couples sometimes like to keep a certain iota of privacy sometimes.

wish we're obviously lone kindred spirits in this!

It definitely helped to have a women only session to discuss stitches, bleeding, going for a wee etc - not of course that I minded my DH knowing about these things, he was there when I staggered to the loo for my first wee and he saw my stitches being removed, but in front of other blokes you've only known for 4 or 5 weeks? I wasn't so keen on that.

The dads were all at the BF session but think they were all a bit nonplussed by it, not that any of them were anti-BF but the session was run by a different teacher from the rest of our NCT classes and were very woo & hippy - my DH was not impressed at all.

OP, I'm with you, I would feel LESS comfortable with just women around. I've had bad experiences with people assuming that just getting rid of men will make a safe space, and I'm also not really a very feminine woman. I feel like an imposter even in welcoming gender segregated groups!

I wonder if it might be women only to cater for people from other cultures where there is a very strong taboo against discussing certain things in front of men, though? I can certainly see there being a need for that.

We include women-only sessions in some of our courses because our evidence shows that women are more likely to feel able to talk about personal physical and relationship issues relating to pregnancy, birth and early parenthood and they’re more likely to feel that they've got to know the other mothers well. Not all our courses have women-only sessions, but all have some activities and discussion that are in single-sex groups.

Thanks for info NCT bod! I can absolutely see why many people would want that option, and it's good you offer it. It's also good to know all course will have some element of single sex activities too.

I've now booked onto a course which doesn't have an explicit all-women session - it also runs on weekly evening sessions over the course of a month, which I'm hoping will give all of the participants more of a chance to get to know each other and hence feel comfortable discussing things. Excited to be learning more about upcoming birth, woot.

Siani I'm glad you know what I mean - I just have a cynical streak when it comes to 'now this is a safe space' (part of my doctorate is looking at the complex and ongoing interactions between teachers and students to create 'safe' spaces!) statements - been to training and sessions in different contexts where it's been handled so badly!