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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Sleeping in baby's room

25 replies

sbear22 · 18/01/2015 19:50

Hi there, im 21 weeks pg and DH's mum seems to think I'll be setting up a camp bed and sleeping in my baby's room when he comes, so that DH can get some sleep. Erm what? Really? Do people do this? Opinions welcomed!

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MrsCK · 18/01/2015 20:00

We are having the crib in our bedroom but have also set up the nursery with a single bed in. The rationale behind this is that if he has an important day at work he can snooze in there but also once baby is in his own room and is poorly/not sleeping/needs feeding etc then one of us can sleep with baby if necessary. DH certainly is not skipping night duty just to get a full nights sleep!

fattymcfatfat · 18/01/2015 20:04

Hahahahaha is she a bit crazy???? What about your sleep? Even if hes not going to be helping at nights why should you give up your bed?! You will be more comfortable and get a better nights sleep in your own bed and trust me you are going to need all the sleep you can get! Tiring but worth every second

neversleepagain · 18/01/2015 20:05

Our twins slept in our bedroom until 7 months. Dh slept in the spare room Mon-Thurs and I slept in the spare room Fri-Sun. It was the only way we could function as there was no point in both of us being exhausted.

We would both do the 11pm feed and the night feeds (2am & 5am was done by whoever was on duty that night).

WishUponAStar88 · 18/01/2015 20:05

Some people do, you have to do what works for you. My dd is 3 months and is in a crib in our room and the 3 of us have all slept in the room since birth. That said my dh sleeps like a log so doesn't wake for feeds. If your partner is a light sleeper and needs to get up for work it does make sense imo to have somewhere else to sleep even if it's just for when he's especially tired or has an important day at work the next day. It shouldn't be you on the camp bed though, you will have just given birth!!

leanne963 · 18/01/2015 20:06

I am 22 weeks and we have a sofa in our nursery mainly because it was too big to move downstairs ha! But I am very fortunate that DP is self employed and works from home so he even said he will help during the night as it isn't as if he has to be up and leaving he house for 7.30am! Are you planning to BF cause I am hoping to (know this isn't always possible) so I do wonder whether there will be any point in my DP getting up just to watch me feed so this is why the sofa may come in handy in the nursery.

Also, DP knows how much I value my sleep so I'm sure he will try to help me get some naps in the day!

callamia · 18/01/2015 20:07

A camp bed? How cosy...
My friends both moved into the baby's room, and it was easier to leave her later and go back to their own room. We didn't have that space, but I think it's a nice idea.

I've only spent nights in DS's room when he's been poorly and I wanted to keep an eye on him.

Nolim · 18/01/2015 20:08

We had the crib in our bedroom and My dp used to sleep in the spare room when he was sick but except for that he would sleep (or not) in our bed.

HappyAsASandboy · 18/01/2015 20:09

If you don have a spare room, then a bed in the baby's room would e a good idea.

You should stay in your bed though, with baby. DH is then welcome to sleep where he likes depending on tiredness/how easily he wakes/whether it is his night on duty if bottle feeding etc.

But whoever has haut given birth gets to sleep in her own bed, with her own pillows, bedside table, the en suite .....

Memphisbelly · 18/01/2015 20:10

One of my neighbours dh slept in their spare room for first 6 months of their babies life.... I honestly thought they were joking. Apparently he needed his sleep for work and she copes better on not much sleep

WhamBamSpam · 18/01/2015 20:17

My dh sleeps in the spare room for the first year of baby's life!

I bf baby at night in my bed, dh who's had a full nights sleep gets up with baby at 6 and I have an hour uninterrupted sleep. If dh and I want some fun time we go to the spare room.

It makes perfect sense to us as a co-sleeping and breastfeeding family. Babies are small for such a short period and their needs are so intense initially.

If baby is being formula fed and / or is in their own cot then there's no reason why both parents can't do their share.

CurlsLDN · 18/01/2015 20:19

leanne963 when ds was tiny and I was bf at night id get him out of his moses basket and feed him in my bed, I'd then hand him to dh who would get up and change his nappy while I went back to sleep - so they can really be of use at night even if they're not feeding them

DanyStormborn · 18/01/2015 20:22

The baby will be in our room but if DH really needs more sleep for work then he can relocate to the guest room.

Galvanized · 18/01/2015 20:27

SIDS guidance says baby should sleep in same room as you until 6mo. We did that with baby in our room in moses basket and DH only slept in the spare room a couple of times when it was very important he got a full night sleep. Which bit are you incredulous about in particular? You'll need a full night's sleep sometimes, so will he, so it's okay to spend nights apart as a couple. But baby needs to be in same room as one of you for sleeps.

ILiveOnABuildsite · 18/01/2015 20:28

When dd was little she slept in our room for about 6 months (if I remember correctly). Dh did sleep in the spare room on Fridays as he has to up at 5:30 on Saturday mornings but he always did the 12 o'clock feed so I slept first half of the night and he slept second half. For the rest of the week I might wake up when dh was doing the feed/change and he might wake when I was doing feed around 3-4am but at least the person not on feed duty didn't have to get up or do anything. The benefit of the spare room on Friday meant it was easier for dh to get up so early if he hadn't been woken from 12-5:30.

Just do what feels right for you both, after a few weeks you'll fall in a routine that works for you and baby.

Gillian1980 · 18/01/2015 20:29

We're keeping the double bed in the spare room when it becomes a nursery. We're going to have the baby in with us but if either of us desperately needs a night of good sleep we'll go into the other room.

museumum · 18/01/2015 20:30

We had a bit of every combination:
All three in our room
Dh in baby's room, ds in with me
Me in baby's room with baby
Dh in baby's room with baby

Finally at 6mo we moved him to a full size cot (from a sidecar cot) and had to fold away the adult bed in his room but by then he was settled to quick and easy night feeds mostly.

If you can have another bed then I would advise it.

Original poster

sbear22 · 18/01/2015 20:37

Sorry should have said, baby will sleep in our room with us for a while at first of course. I hope to BF. We don't have a spare room (or, we did until we needed a nursery ) so no one can nip off to the spare room and our couch is small and i doubt my very tall DH could sleep on it.

Thanks for all the opinions guys :) x

OP posts:

Zebrasinpyjamas · 18/01/2015 20:40

Ds (7mths) sleeps in his cot next to our bed with one side off. My dh helps me by winding ds post bf feed at night. Whilst it means we both get interruptions to our sleep, I don't have to take the full hit. Yes work is hard on interrupted sleep but so is looking after a small baby! Periodically one of us sleeps in the spare room to get a better quality of sleep as babies tend to be noisy sleepers!
We like having ds right next to us as sometimes we can soothe him back to sleep without fully waking up/getting out of bed.
op- you will quickly find a way that works for your new family. Everyone does it differently.

mewkins · 18/01/2015 20:40

I guess your mil is expecting you to do alk the night feeds and wakings and sleep or not on a camp bed! What are you- superwoman? Tell her that you have set up a camp bed in the nursery for when she comes to stay ;)
My dh would sleep through a baby screaming in his ear and in the first few weeks did shifts so that dh would be in charge from 9 pm (when I went to bed) til 1am and wakings after that would be down to me. We were lucky in having a particularly good sleeper for the most part who would only wake once for a bottle. If I were you I would see how it goes and don't make any promises that you will do all the nights as he has to go to work. You will exhaust yourself and feel resentful and literally give anything to be the one that gets to go to work!

Galvanized · 18/01/2015 20:43

Ah okay. Well he can sleep in the camp bed if he needs to but you get the bed congratulations, good luck with everything.

neversleepagain · 18/01/2015 20:47

We didn't do a nursery until our twins were 6.5 months. We kept that room set up as a spare room so dh and I had somewhere to go for a decent nights sleep. We had two cots and their changing table in our bedroom.

WhyOWhyWouldYou · 18/01/2015 20:47

Me, DH and DS all slept in our room. DH could sleep through most feeds and niggles but would be woken by actual crying. For me if DS was crying that much, it generally meant I was grateful for a hand settling him and it didn't happen too often.

Oh and re: breastfeeding and why/how DH can be useful. In the early weeks I would bf, then wake DH to wind (yes bf baby can need winding - mine really did) and do nappy, then resettle. Whilst I could only dose, not get fully asleep, while DH did this, I felt and functioned far far better for it the next day.

leanne963 · 18/01/2015 20:49

curls ahhh the nappies, I forgot about those haha

HyperThread · 18/01/2015 20:52

DH slept in DD's room for 15 months. DD used to wake up every hour from 4 months to 15 months, when we stopped breastfeeding. So your mother inlaw is correct, but it might him sleeping in that room, and not you!

JennyBlueWren · 18/01/2015 21:53

We're leaving the bed currently in the spare room which is gradually becoming the nursery. DH can then go and sleep there if he needs it (I've offered it to him a few times when he's complained of my tossing and turning!). Also handy for visiting grandparents that we'll be expecting in the first few weeks.
I wouldn't want to be sleeping on a camp bed but having an option for DH to go and sleep somewhere else is a good plan. Oh and it's not for MIL to tell you what to do!

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