Scared and in total shock

[Debbiemac1]

This thread seems really old but hopefully someone will see this and respond. I am 45 next Thursday with DD's 21, 19, 7 and 4 and thought we were done. Just took a test yesterday and it was positive. I am in total shock, scared, I am married but my husband works abroad, and we thought we were finished. I have always avoided BD around day 9-14 just in case but this time clearly not. I am not happy right now, at all I just don't see this as a good thing :(. I am happy with the four we have and feel too old to do this again. Any advice from older mum's would be welcome. Really just in shock still.

Meerka have just noticed you are Dutch. I lived in Holland for almost 7 years, best years of my life. I wish we were still there, secretly hoping that DH can open a Dutch office of their company he is in Berlin at the moment. I was in Arnhem for 1 year and then Amersfoort for 1.5 years then a fab 4 years in Den Haag. Both my older DD's were born in Den Haag.

Ik kan nog een beetje Nederlands spreken, niet zo goed schijven.
So you would definitely recommend having a baby at 45, having had one yourself. I am I have to say on the "younger end" for 45, I certainly don't feel it. I was quite surprised my GP was so quick to offer a termination, mind you me crying might have had something to do with it.

debbie, you may find your cycle going a bit haywire is down to the perimenopause starting....?

Ssd could be right. My mum is in her early 40s and her cycle has been going completely haywire. She has had her tubes tied but still managed to scare herself thinking she could be pregnant! ( she went on the Internet and found a load of articles on how it can fail). Shes not pregnant just going a bit wonky with her cycle.

I've got Hashimoto's and struggled to get pregnant, you're lucky you're so fertile!! :) It can affect fertility and I know it has with me. It wasn't easy to fall pregnant with the two DC I've got, also lost two pregnancies and now pregnant for the fifth time.

Sorry you're going through this, I think after a few weeks of you both thinking it through you'll realise that together you can get to a decision you're both happy with. At the moment you're shell shocked, which is understandable.

It's hard at any age, but more so due when you've a medical condition, I'm finding at 32yo my current pregnancy difficult due to tiredness. Thyroxine may need adjusted, please keep an eye on this with your midwife.

Oh well I still don't know. The doctor phoned and said they are still not sure, hcg levels came back at 46 which apparently is low for 4 wks and 5 days since last menstrual period. They seem to think it is a chemical pregnancy or early miscarriage but I have to re do the bloods on Thursday and get the results friday so won't know much more until then. Grrrr
Ssd I doubt it my cycle is always like clockwork, always 25-26 days and always ovulate on day 12.

oh debbie, that must be so frustrating for you

it may be worth having a look at signs of the perimeno meanwhile, I've found its a strange thing, my periods can be normal then go a bit haywire, it seems to be very unpredictable, and your age sort of falls into this..

come back and let us know how you get on, am thinking of you x

Aw bless. This must be very frustrating for you as you want answers! Hopefully you will have the full picture on friday.