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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

colleagues have upset me :(

32 replies

User24689 · 14/01/2015 15:03

Hello all,
Just want some perspective on whether I'm just reallt hormonal but can't stop crying. I'm 11 weeks pregnant and really anxious about my 12 week screening next week. I have been waking up in night worrying about something going wrong, prob not helped by fact I have been feeling really unwell for about 6 weeks now and I look like shit and feel exhausted.
Anyway a while ago I confided in a friend at work that I was pg and asked her not to tell anyone. As far as I knew she hadnt. Then today a woman with form for being nasty to me who doesn't even work in my department walked up to me in front of a bunch of other people and asked when I was going on mat leave. When I looked shocked she just smirked at me and said ,sorry to bust your bubble but everyones talking about it. It then transpired that a whole bunch of people know and it was being gossiped about in the lunch room before Xmas. I was so upset I was shaking and had to go for a cry in the toilets! Now I'm even more worried about the scan And the worry about the baby is now compounded by the fact everyone will need to know if something is wrong. I know it sounds weird but I feel really violated somehow, even though I get along witj people at work and know that aside from that lady that they won't be being mean.

Am I overreacting? It hurts that they must have known it isn't common knowledge as nobody has even congratulated me but they have still continued to spread it :(

OP posts:

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seaoflove · 14/01/2015 15:09

That is snide and nasty.

Since she has form for it, would you consider reporting it to HR?

cosmicglittergirl · 14/01/2015 15:12

I'd be tempted to report her, what a cow. It is annoying when people know and didn't want them to. Hopefully everything will be fine and you can get on with your pregnancy.

HomeIsWhereTheHeartIs · 14/01/2015 15:14

That's really cruel! But I'm sure that if there are some gossip-y sort of people where you work, I bet there are even more of the type who are just waiting to congratulate you.
Have some chocolate and a nice bath tonight and things will seem better in the morning.

Number3cometome · 14/01/2015 15:15

Report her to HR, how dare she say that infront of everyone?

What a horrible woman.

Chin up OP, and good luck for your scan, I know how you feel, I have mine tomorrow!

You just remember what a better person you are than her, your emotions show that x

Butterpuff · 14/01/2015 15:16

I would speak to your friend at work who has not been much of a friend and report the trouble maker to HR. The trouble maker is being really horrible, the friend needs to know she let you down so that in the future, should you choose to confide in her she will not do the same again.

Try not to be upset with everyone, mostly if people are told of an early pregnancy but not by the pregnant lady then they will keep quiet and not say anything until it is 'out'

Try not to worry and after your scan next week go into work with your picture if you want to and show the people you like and trust. I'm sure you will get lots of congratulations once people know you are ready to tell them.

Sophieelmer · 14/01/2015 15:19

Don't report it, you sound like your anxiety levels are high. Which isn't uncommon in early pregnancy. If you weren't so anxious you wouldn't feel so upset by this.
Reporting this won't do anything but worsen your anxiety.
Is it possible for you to have some time out from work to relax, get yourself together? Your Gp would probably be happy to sign you off in the run up to the scan, if it might ease the worry you are feeling. Hope you feel better soon

CheshireSplat · 14/01/2015 15:20

Oh poor you OP. That's horrible - an you should be feeling so excited, if naturally a little nervous.

Although I can't know what your scan will show, the fact you do feel rubbish and exhausted is a good sign - having no pregnancy symptoms would be more worrying. Good luck and try not to let them get you down.

HazleNutt · 14/01/2015 15:38

Wow what a cow! When you feel better after the scan (I'm sure all will be fine!), ask her as loud as you can how the herpes treatment is going.

Number3cometome · 14/01/2015 15:40

Pahahahahhahahaha!!!

Viviennemary · 14/01/2015 15:42

They sound a nasty bunch. But the woman who told probably just told one or two people who then told who then told and so on. You just simply can't rely on anybody keeping a secret. If the trouble maker says any more report her.

sleepybee · 14/01/2015 15:44

I would keep the scan to myself & not share with anyone even if it's perfect news (which I'm sure it will be!) but that's just me! I'm a pretty private person & only told my boss as I was really sick so I had to tell her because I was ill at work. My boss told me she had heard one person say she thought I was preggo as I was holding my tummy (probably because I felt so sick!) but other than that until I did start telling people at 12 weeks everyone said they never had a clue even although I'd looked like crap for months!

originalusernamefail · 14/01/2015 15:46

The woman is a cowbag. However I think the colleagues who you get on with probably don't want to take away "your moment" and are waiting for you to tell them. On your pg.

seaoflove · 14/01/2015 16:00

If you weren't so anxious you wouldn't feel so upset by this.

Nonsense. I think any woman waiting to announce a pregnancy at work would be upset at being "outed" in such a calculated, unpleasant way.

Dr0pThePirate · 14/01/2015 16:01

You alright there Number3cometome ?

NickiFury · 14/01/2015 16:04

I'd have said "what's it got to do with you exactly?" When she asked me when I was going in maternity leave. That would be my standard response to any other questions that don't seem to coming from a genuine place.

NickiFury · 14/01/2015 16:06

Also agree that most people will be waiting for you to tell them. Not being malicious by not asking. I waited till I was five months before I told anyone as I was temping and worried about how it would be received. They were all "We KNOW!!!! But didn't want to say anything till you did" .

Teeste · 14/01/2015 16:07

I like HazleNutt's idea Cos obvs, everyone's talking about it!

What a horrible situation for you OP I agree with PP that nobody will have congratulated you as you haven't announced. But you must be feeling betrayed by your 'friend' and snidey cow just sounds vile. I'd say sleep on it and see how you feel tomorrow.

3littlebadgers · 14/01/2015 16:07

Oh darling that is a horrible way for your amazing news to be shared. She is a cow, and so is the one who broke your secret. Most scans go well, the sickness is a good sign, I was quite rough for the first 16 weeks and the midwife assure me it was a sign of a healthy pregnancy. Saying that for two of the dc I had very mild sickness and they turned out alright too. Congratulations on your baby news.

Messygirl · 14/01/2015 16:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Messygirl · 14/01/2015 16:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

5dogsgoswimming · 14/01/2015 16:16

My boss decided to tell the whole department I was pregnant before I had had the scan and before I had even told close friends.
To say I was furious is n understatement.
In the end i did nothing. Some people are just insensitive.
I still think about it and it makes me extremely angry.

In your shoes I would intentionally give people snippets of info and exclude this woman. Or I'd maybe keep everything to myself from now on.

It's a tricky one

GlitzAndGigglesx · 14/01/2015 16:20

I had someone approach me at work too but not in front of everyone mind! She asked if it was true that I'm pregnant so I just replied "I hope so" and got on with my day. She's not someone I associate with so don't need to tell her! Ignore her she's clearly bored in her dull little life. I'm 11 weeks pg and like you keep worrying the worst will happen. I have my scan tomorrow so once I see/hear the heartbeat my mind will be put at rest. Please try and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and congrats! :)

m0therofdragons · 14/01/2015 16:32

I told my boss I was pg (she was too and she'd told me at 5 weeks). I only told her because I was having a suspected miscarriage/ectopic pg and had hospital appointments. The day before I went for a second scan to confirm a senior manager came up to me and said congrats. I burst into tears. My manager had failed to tell them there were any issues as she'd just gossiped to the office bitch and the bitch had used to info to try to get senior management on side. Furious is an understatement. I had the scan and it was twins. I left it a week before confronting my boss. She burst into tears as she was very naive and hadn't realised bitch lady was such a bitch (they've since fallen out and don't speak).
I'm glad I calmly left it a week until I felt in control of my emotions but I would speak to your friend (I doubt she meant to upset you but will never be trusted again). I never confronted nasty lady but I gather she had an affair, left her dh for om then he dumped her and she was sacked from her job for not hitting targets and managers won't give her a reference. Karma?

bagofsnakes · 14/01/2015 18:09

Report her! That is awful and unnecessary. You are not being over sensitive x

ChickenMe · 14/01/2015 18:33

What a nasty piece of work she is. I'm annoyed for you. Who on earth treats a pregnant woman like that? Consider reporting her and certainly resolve not to speak to her ever again. If she speaks to you I would warn her off and tell her to keep away.

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