Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Time in hospital after birth

62 replies

StillinShockAhhhhhhh · 07/01/2015 14:52

It's getting closer to my due date now and getting more and more nervous about how long I will be in hospital after the birth. My husband and I are rarely separated and am now getting anxious he will be sent home after birth and I'll be left at the hospital with a new baby and nobody to be there with. How long after the birth can I go home providing its a straightforward delivery?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

StillinShockAhhhhhhh · 07/01/2015 15:40

Tbh I'm normally fairly independent just not very good with the whole hospital idea x if it was DH in hospital and me at home I would cope perfectly fine although obviously concerned about DH x it's more the feeling of being trapped at the hospital on my own that bothers me x

OP posts:

Jackiebrambles · 07/01/2015 15:56

I'm not sure you will be able to get a private room unless you pay for it OP. Not in an NHS hospital. My friend paid for a private room in her NHS (London) hospital. She had an ELCS so I guess she was able to say exactly when she wanted it.

mrsmilkymoo · 07/01/2015 15:57

Hi op, I was just like you, dreaded the hospital experience. Ended up with emcs and in hospital for 2 nights. I won't lie - I hated it and just wanted to get out of there to be home with dd and dh. I had dd not long after midnight and dh couldn't stay for too long afterwards. What should have been the happiest time of my life was simultaneously the worst as I felt so alone. Couldn't sleep in the hospital and there were no private rooms. I'd have paid a fortune to avoid the ward but it just wasn't possible in my area. My main memories are of crying and sending frantic texts to dh. Think the midwives thought I had pnd but I was right as rain once I got home! I don't want to make you feel worse by telling you this but just wanted to let you know that other women feel exactly the same as you, so you're not alone in that sense. If you do feel anxious in the hospital, come on to mn as there always seem to be lovely people willing to listen!

Original poster

StillinShockAhhhhhhh · 07/01/2015 16:04

I don't mind paying for a private room just didn't know if we would need to make them aware in advance or just let them know when I know if I need to stay for any length of time x I know it makes me sound needy just really don't like hospitals and have refused to be admitted on various occasions for different ailments as always feel better to be in familiar surroundings x glad to see im not the only one that feels this way!! Was starting to feel like I'd turned into a moody teenager again!!

OP posts:

Jackiebrambles · 07/01/2015 16:07

I think you need to talk to the hospital. Do they do a labour ward tour at all? That might be good to go on.

In terms of booking a private room they should be able to tell you if you can book and how much.

Just bear in mind that if someone else needs it (ie someone who has suffered a still birth for example who shouldn't be on the postnatal ward) then they might be given priority. We enquired at our hospital just out of interest and they said they had private rooms reserved for those occasions.

mumxof3x · 07/01/2015 16:34

Ds1 5 days, they wanted me, to stay longer and have a blood transfusion but i refused (young, I didnt feel too bad and it was 1 day until christmas) I had a stay in high dependancy, and they let dp stay the night although he had to sleep on floor.

Ds2 3 days, they picked up I had a bacteria growing in my blood, so ds needed to be monitored and I had to have i.v anti bs, they said oral wasnt good enough.

Ds3 3 days again, ds needed iv anti biotics this time (turned out he didnt need them but they was just been cautious)

I do hope its a short time this time...me and my boys are clearly stubborn lol

weelamb123 · 07/01/2015 16:39

If u have a straight forward birth, u'll be in and out within 24 hours. If u having a section then you'll probably be in at least 1 or 2 nights. But they don't keep u in any longer than needed now. I'm anxious too I haven't spent a night away fro.m my hubby in 8 years.....xxx

Tangoandcreditcards · 07/01/2015 16:40

I had DS in a busy London hospital 10mo ago. I also did not want to stay. I had a v straightforward delivery (no epidural or pain relief so didn't have to wait around for anything to wear off, one stitch) he was born at 2.15am and I had left by 6am. They said minimum of 6hrs post birth but I was out in less than 4.

I think you have to get lucky with your delivery and timings (I.e. Changes in shifts on the ward can make a difference and in my case I think the ward was full so it suited them to discharge me).

But I did put on my birth plan that I wanted not to stay overnight and I wanted as quick a discharge as possible. So might be worth putting it in there and discussing with your midwife. You'll certainly find it easier to get a swift discharge from a MLU than a normal labour unit. Above all, keep asking everyone to discharge you and eventually they'll satisfy themselves that you're safe to go. (I learnt this from other hospital stays, prancing about the wards demonstrating my mobility until they let me escape!).

Good luck!

Original poster

StillinShockAhhhhhhh · 07/01/2015 16:40

I'm hoping it will all be straightforward and I don't have to stay in x if the baby unchecked and all ok can i discharge myself?

OP posts:

Tangoandcreditcards · 07/01/2015 16:41

Oh yeah. I also FF from birth (no boobs due to mastectomy) so you can get a quicker discharge because they want to make sure feeding is established before you go.

Original poster

StillinShockAhhhhhhh · 07/01/2015 16:44

I wouldn't consider leaving until I know baby is ok but will DEFINATELY be making it known u want out asap!!!

OP posts:

Original poster

StillinShockAhhhhhhh · 07/01/2015 16:44

OP posts:

Tangoandcreditcards · 07/01/2015 16:44

DS was weighed and stuff but had his newborn checks the following day :- 36 hours after birth. So I had to pop back to hospital for that. Although I did find out later I could have asked to have the community midwife do it at home.

I wouldnt discharge myself against medical advice. But if feeding is established, there are no complications and you are mobile (been to the loo, had a shower, etc). Then they're normally happy to diacharge you when you ask.

Pisghetti · 07/01/2015 16:47

Do you have to give birth in a hospital? Is there a birth centre/midwifery led unit in your area? Only an option of you are having a low risk pregnancy of course but they tend to be quieter and have a more relaxed approach to dad's staying.

I'll be using my local birth centre, all being well. The rooms have double beds so dad's can stay and a homely feel about them (a bit more budget hotel than a hospital IMO!)

Adarajames · 07/01/2015 16:48

Depend where you are, local to me is midwife led unit attached to hospital, with suites for both parents to stay together, birthing pools of you want them, ensiite shower rooms etc, looks very nice and rather like posh spa room than hospital; but I know aren't that many like it around

Adarajames · 07/01/2015 16:49

Think you still get the dodgy prison hospital food though!

Original poster

StillinShockAhhhhhhh · 07/01/2015 16:53

How would I find out if I have a midwife led unit nearby?

OP posts:

BIWI · 07/01/2015 16:57

I think you need to try and change your mindset.

You need to phrase it for yourself that everyone who is in hospital is there to make sure that all goes well for you and your baby.

Yes, the conditions may not always be great and - horrible to say it - you may come across midwives or nurses who aren't that pleasant - but in general, being in hospital to have a baby is a totally different situation to being in hospital because you have a horrible illness or disease.

Try and embrace the positives about this, and to recognise that you are going to be in a place/situation where it will all be unpredictable and out of your control.

For the vast majority of women, giving birth goes smoothly and well. And you may find that you are able to go home very soon after you have given birth. But you can't, always. And it isn't in any way any kind of failure. And you may find yourself very grateful for the fact that you can't!

The wards after I gave birth, both times, were hot, noisy and crowded - but I was very grateful to be there, to have the help of the midwives (who were universally truly wonderful), and to not have to be at home thinking about making tea for my in-laws (who arrived unannounced!) or having to make dinner, etc

Please try, also, to 'man up' (I hate that expression) and realise that you will be well and truly able to cope without your DH. The reality is that he won't be able to with you for all the time that you're in hospital - but also, the reality is that you will be more than able to cope.

But above all, I wish you all the very best. It is a truly magical experience to give birth. I hope everything goes very well for you. Please try and look forward to it, rather than to have negative expectations.

Original poster

StillinShockAhhhhhhh · 07/01/2015 18:54

Thank you all! I know I can cope without DH it's more about coping in the hospital that worries me. Looking through all your experiences it appears I need to accept the fact I may be there for longer than I want to be. Will definately be looking into a private room even if it's just for a bit of peace n quiet off of the busy ward. Will also make it known to staff I would rather be out asap

OP posts:

SilverStars · 07/01/2015 19:13

At my hospital partners cannot stay in private rooms overnight - whether pay or not. Worth checking your hospital policy ( they will not change policy so if it is no worth looking at other options: different hospital might/ totally private care/midwife led unit or home birth).

funchum8am · 07/01/2015 19:34

I had DD at 0015 and stayed the rest of that night in the labour room as they didn't need it, so DH was allowed to stay. They convinced me to stay the next night on the ward (no idea why, was bfing fine, no issues with baby) and it was horribly noisy and no one got any sleep.

I had DS on Friday last week and paid for a private room as I had to stay 24 hours to have IV antibiotics and baby needed extra observations due to meconium in waters. DH could have stayed but I made him go home and sleep (the room only had a chair for him) so he would be more use when I came home! Also told anyone who would listen that I was keen to go so they lined up all the checks for next morning and we left at 1pm.

3rdbump · 07/01/2015 22:47

Baby one - we had a private room - he was born in the eve and we stayed one night and went home next evening. OH stayed the night
Baby 2 - born at 930m, i was ready to go by lunch time but ended up staying one night as they wanted me too

The above was 10 years ago at different area hospitals

Baby 3 - born jan 2013
Born at 530pm, one night in hospital, was sent off in the morning to go and enjoy 2 extra nights at local MLU which is a lovely local hospital which is more like a hotel! got told i could stay as long as i wanted too, OH could visit between 8am - 9pm but had to leave at meal times. Food was lovely :) couldnt deliver baby here as went over due so had to go to a huge hospital 1 hr away which was very conveyor belt!

baby 4 am hoping i dont go too overdue so i can have it at the MLU and hope to stay again for 2 nights :)

Mummywithlove · 08/01/2015 16:58

i had a baby boy on 12th dec had him at 10:20am and left at 2:30pm they said i could of gone earlier if baby did a poo (and wee but he did that as soon as he was born)

muddylettuce · 08/01/2015 18:27

I had an emcs and baby was ill too so we stayed for 5 days. She was delivered at 8pm so at about midnight my partner went home, at that point I was going to recovery ward and we anticipated I'd be home the next day. Unfortunately both baby and I developed complications and because both of us were rushed off to post natal/nicu in the evening my partner was allowed to stay (they thought I was bleeding internally). He went home every night once we were out of the woods. The hospital made allowances for us so might for you if you're really worried? There is usually a small kitchen and a cafe if you're in hospital so you can get tea and toast etc if you want. You don't have to be bed bound. X

pocketsized · 08/01/2015 18:49

Hi OP, curretnly pregnant with DC1 so no help on timings, but I totally know how you feel about hospitals. I have had some really poor (and frankly boardering on dangerous) care in hospital that has left me very anxious in a hospital environment. It's taken a while to get through to the midwives that my anxiety is not birth related, but hospital related and why. I am hoping to be allowed a home birth to reduce the risk of a hospital stay. There is no midwife unit near here, so it's home or the huge massive hospital 45 mins away. Not much help I know, but though you might like to know you're not alone!

Flip

1 2 3