Help - what do i do about him?

[Lwatkins]

I've just started the first year of my degree in bristol and in my first week realised i was pregnant. Completley shocked at first and all that jazz, but have decided to keep the baby and still carry on my studies. I'm only 19, but my family have been amazing and i'm now approaching my 2 month mark. All excited now, however there is one problem that lies with the babies dad. We were together but split up and i have no intentions of getting back with him! When i first told him about it he was very happy, but since then we have had a couple of arguments and to tell the truth he's being a complete dick! Last time i spoke to him he had me in tears and i hung up and he hasn't rung since, it's now been over a week! He is young too at 21 but he is acting like such a child, i know its a big shock but hello, i'm at flippin uni with family that live in scotland, i have no support here. I feel like this should be a happy time, but he has managed to victimise himself - once again and i'm at a loss as to what to do. Help, i need some advice!

Hi Lwatkins, He probably needs time to let it sink in. If you have no intentions of getting back with him just plod along and enjoy your pregnancy. Maybe he'll come round. My DP was shocked when I told him I was pregnant, I didn't ram it in his face, didn't question him or put any pressure on him and now its him thats all soft and
coo-ey!!! Like you say he is young, and men are generally more immature than women for their age. Try not to let him upset you again, you need to stay calm and happy! x

Thanks!
I don't know i just feel like, well i feel terrible! My sickness is of the wall, i cant keep anything down, which is getting harder as i've got uni to concentrate on. And my lord am i tired all the time or what! Pregnancy sure aint no picnic so far! I'm in a big city all on my own, though all this isn't really getting to me that much, it's him that gets me stressed out. MEN! I told him over 3 weeks ago, and i know its big news and a big shock i just thought he would have come around a bit more by now. He didn't even send me a txt to check that the scan had gone ok the other week which i found really hurtfull. I'm so confused, i haven't hassled him and i've given him loads of space. And there are still no results. Ah well, just have to play the waiting game aye!

I think if I were in your shoes, I would get on with things on my and own and if he comes around then that is a bonus. I think if you embark of single parenthood then it is best not to invest too much in his support as you don't want to feel let down if he doesn't come up trumps - coming from someone whose Mum brought me up on her own with unreliable/random support from father.

LWatkins, it may take him months to come round, leave him be for now. Go it alone and expect nothing. Things maybe different once your bean is here . How many weeks pg are you? x

I was just wondering, what with this being your first year at Uni and all, whether you would be able to perhaps 'tranfer' in some way to another Uni nearer to home and family? That way, you'll have some support (especially as you say that your family have been great about it). You'll need that bit of support as your pregnancy progresses and especially once the baby comes along (assuming that you'll be returning to your studies following the birth).

Im 2 months and 2 days gone. Transfer isn't really an option cause its a bit late now and i've really settled in well in bristol. My mums taking a leave of absence from work round my due date and is gonna stay with me until uni finishes, she's been amazing support for me. Your all right, i'll leave it and let him come around. By doing this i just don't want him thinking he can go for months at a time without contact and then walk back into my life when he wants. But we'll see how it goes, cheers guys x