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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Anyone else not finding out the sex?

47 replies

dillydollydarling · 28/12/2014 09:35

Since before me and dp started ttc we said that when we had kids, we would like it to be a surprise. Now that I'm actually pregnant (5 weeks today) we are determined that we will not find out the sex of our baby until s/he is born. My mum is really pleased about this!

I know loads of people that find out the sex and then name their baby before it's even born. But I would worry that they'd got it wrong, and then you'd be stuck with loads of pink/blue stuff!

Anyone else waiting until birth to find out the sex?

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RL20 · 29/12/2014 18:29

Hi dillydolly! You sound exactly like I did at around that time, and even before I was pregnant! I was always that person that said "I can't believe people find out. You hear about people naming the baby before it's even here and then it's like you've already met them!". But as soon as I became pregnant, all of that went out of the window! I was so excited to know what I was having! My partner didn't mind about finding out so we made a compromise with the help of the lady at my 16 week scan (one I booked privately just as a reassurance scan). She suggested that she could write in an envelope what she believe to be the gender. And then to get another written one at my 20 week scan. So we did that and my partner suggested we open them on Christmas Day- which we did! I don't feel as though we have spoiled any kind of surprises, as having the baby will be a surprise journey in itself for sure. But each to their own! Good luck! X

RL20 · 29/12/2014 18:33

And also I forgot to mention.. We won't be buying lots and lots of clothes, and the clothes and accessories that are needed, will be bought in whites, greys and browns. Not even because of the reason that they may be wrong, but purely because I've seen lots of cute things in those colours, and are different from the traditional blue for a boy. Don't get me wrong though If I see something cute in blue, I'll be buying it, ha ha! But pushchair-wise too, I don't want a blue one really, I have seen some nice grey and white striped ones by Cosatto which are lovely! X

RL20 · 29/12/2014 18:36

Oh and just to add again (sorry!) my partner has a 5 year old girl so that's another reason why I wanted to be more prepared. I also had a strong inkling from the beginning that we were having a boy- so I wanted to know if I was right or not! I think it perhaps would of been different if I didn't have an inkling. But I felt as if I already knew. When me and my mum were walking round the shops she pointed at some lovely girls clothes, and I said "yeah but I don't think I'll be buying them anyway". And she said "neither do I!" It was like we knew! Ha ha x

joosiewoosie · 30/12/2014 18:53

We are having our dc2 by c section tomorrow and still don't know the sex. I was more tempted to find out this time than last, but have enjoyed the speculation again! Not long to wait now!

RL20 · 30/12/2014 20:19

Good luck joosie! Exciting x

pinkie1982 · 30/12/2014 21:52

Me! DP wants to know but I don't. So we aren't going to. I have no preference at all. I don't want to get all one colour or another. If people want to buy presents after the baby is born they can then buy whichever colour they like! The room will be neutral anyway. I want an extra surprise

joosiewoosie · 31/12/2014 06:54

Thanks RL20! X

pyrowall · 31/12/2014 09:50

No, not found out here either - now 27 wks.

OH has 2 sons from previous marriage and we have one son so he is holding out for a girl, so he gets to cling to that wish for the whole time - rather than being disappointed halfway through, not that he would really disappointed - it's just that it's the last chance for a girl - they're be no more after this one!
I couldn't care less what we have, but I am getting a bit fed up of having to explain to people that ask that we don't know, they think I'm joking half the time and that we do know - we're just not telling.

radiobedhead · 31/12/2014 11:21

There are studies done on this, which you might find interesting!

What finding out the sex says about you www.science20.com/news_articles/moms_what_finding_out_your_babys_gender_before_before_birth_says_about_you-137557

bubalou · 31/12/2014 11:28

I waited until the birth with my DS and it was amazing. Completely worth not knowing.

Currently 18 weeks with our second 6 years later and DH wants to find out at the 20 week scan. I would have done a surprise again.

Just one tip - try really hard not to buy lots of baby clothes yet. We did and then when DS was born quite predictably we had a fortunes worth of neutral clothes we didn't use as we put him in cute boys stuff.

Mammanat222 · 31/12/2014 11:37

We didn't with our first and I would say now that being told I had a son after delivering him is one of my most precious memories - ever. The emotion of finding out still makes me tear up now!

Second time around (I am 37w) we decided to find out for many reasons. Kids are sharing a room so we needed to know how we are decorating / money wise we're on more of budget this time / OH wanted to find out this time (he'd gone with my wishes last time)

So we found out.

It's not made my pregnancy any less special and there have been many positives - we've been able to buy what we need / spread costs etc. BUT from experience not knowing was more "magical"

CarrotPuff · 31/12/2014 12:23

We didn't find out last time. I had water birth and when DS was born, the MW passed him between my legs without saying anything, so I got to see myself that we had a son. Absolutely magical, I wouldn't change it for the world.

Currently pg with DC2 and we are not finding out again :)

RL20 · 31/12/2014 12:36

Bubalou, someone also said this to me too, with the neutral clothes thing. I had never even thought of it in that way before! It just made me want to find out the gender even more lol. Because I knew i'd want to buy lots of clothes (although I haven't yet!) and knew that once the baby boy or girl was here, I'd want to rush out and buy blue or pink! So I did end up finding out although we did it differently and had the gender written down in 2 envelopes. One from a 16 week private scan that I booked (not actual gender scan though) and one from my 20 week scan. We opened them on Xmas day and found out were having a boy from almost day 1 I "knew" we were having a boy, and this is my first so it was purely just an inkling.

Pyrowall, I've had that too! Just because I had been saying that I think it's a boy, and smiling when people ask if we know and we say no, some were really adamant that we knew?! How annoying! If we knew I wouldn't hide it!
Also, I can't believe that in this day and age how many people still ask "what would you prefer?" Or "what do you want?" Erm.. A healthy baby thank you! People have assumed that because my partner has a girl already, that we want a boy. If he already has a lovely little girl, why would we not want another one of those?! It really frustrates me! Well at least people can't ask me that anymore! X

coastergirl · 31/12/2014 12:46

The whole reason we haven't found out is that I want that moment at the birth, where my husband will tell me what we've got. I hardly know anyone who hasn't found out, and we do seem to get that reaction of surprise a lot! I don't think it's the case that everybody doesn't mind which sex though. While we will obviously love baby just as much whichever sex it is, I would prefer a boy. I'm just generally more comfortable with boys. That doesn't mean it's more important to be than the baby being healthy though!

I don't think we've fallen into the trap of buying loads of neutral clothes that won't get worn either. I've seen people buy whole wardrobes full of little outfits, especially when they know what they're having. Then half of it goes unworn because they get so many presents. We've just got the basics, and then will buy what we need as we go along. I know if baby turns out to be a girl, my mum will buy so much pink that the white stuff we've got will be a welcome relief!

Original poster

dillydollydarling · 01/01/2015 13:41

Interesting article radio.

I quite like the thought if not having a wardrobe full of boy/girl stuff. I know that after baby is born, people will buy pink or blue stuff as presents and we can always go and buy more as we need them.

People keep asking me what I'd rather have. As long as baby is happy and healthy, sex doesn't matter! My OHs friend reckons we're having a boy and thinking about it, everyone in both our families have had boys first.

OP posts:

coastergirl · 12/01/2015 20:00

Having said we weren't finding out, we caved! I just wanted to come back and update what I said, as this has changed things for me completely.

We went for a 4D scan yesterday, which was incredible as it was. We had no plans to find out the sex, but were asked if we'd like to know. We still said no, but at the end my husband asked if the lady knew. She said she did, and was certain. In the end I let my husband find out, and he told me when we got home.

We are having a little boy, which I'm ecstatic about. What's really changed, is I didn't think I would feel differently after knowing the sex, but I feel so much more connected, and for the first time (at 30 weeks) I am excited to meet my baby. If I'd known this would make me feel so fab, I might have found out sooner, although I'm not sure I'd feel this way if we'd been told it was a girl. It hasn't changed anything for us practically. We've already bought clothes and decorated, and that will stay the same. I'm not keen on the pink/blue thing anyway. But it really has made me so excited!

Letmeeatcakecakecake · 12/01/2015 20:32

So glad you're happy coaster!

I found out with DS and regretted finding out, wish I'd had the surprise at birth! It didn't effect anything I bought though, all key items and most of his vests/sleep suits were neutral so I could use them for another baby regardless of sex.

My son did wear a lot of boy clothes but he loved nothing more than pushing his pink pram with his baby in it with a dash of mascara on and having matching toe nails to mummy!

Original poster

dillydollydarling · 12/01/2015 21:57

Congrats Coaster! I can understand how it would make you feel more connected to baby knowing what you are having. Are you going to be telling family and friends that you're having a boy?

My OHs friend reckons we're having a boy. I think it probably is as every single person in my family, as far back as I know, that has had kids, has had a boy first. I guess we better start thinking of some boys names!!

OP posts:

Cornberry · 12/01/2015 22:11

No ne has really mentioned the name issue? I'm 6 weeks and want it to be a surprise but the problem is the naming. I feel I need time to think about the name and discuss (negotiate) with my other half and it's hard enough for us to agree on a name so cutting the possibilities in half would help a lot! Doesn't anyone else feel this way?

ToniWol · 13/01/2015 17:09

We didn't find out with DD, but had names picked out for either. Oddly enough though. I did think of her as a girl, and one of DHs aunts had a blanket knitted for us with pink and lilac accents, which was quite spooky.

We were given lot's of pink after she arrived, although secretly I'm glad that deep purple is an in colour for girls at the moment, as I'm not too fond of too much pink (especially as DD is a redhead...)

Marrymeg · 14/01/2015 02:01

32 weeks and haven't found out. Just want the surprise - and family are doing a sweep stake on baby's Weight, date and sex for a bit of fun.

Marrymeg · 14/01/2015 02:05

32 weeks and not finding out, just want the surprise at the end. Family are doing guesses on weight, exact date and sex for a bit of fun.

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