Should I find out the sex at my 21 week scan?

[chickenwings]

Feeling very indecisive about whether or not to find out the sex of the baby at my scan. I already have two boys (but did not find out beforehand in either case). I am not desperate for a girl, but obviously it would be a bonus. My husband is against the idea but my two boys really want to find out. The younger of them is finding it hard to come to terms with the fact he won't be the baby anymore and I wonder if finding out the sex would help him?

No matter what, I am happy to be pregnant and just want a healthy baby. Just wondered what others have done.

I remember getting rather a shock when number 2 turned out to be a boy when I was convinced he was going to be a girl!

One of my (male) work collegues had an ultrasound picture of his DS's genitals above his desk!

That might be taking it a little bit far...

Dad, I think it's just interesting to hear other people's points of view. They might come up with something you hadn't thought of, and it kind of reinforces your own viewpoint either way.

is this a male/female thing?

yeah s'pose so.

I'm like that with baby names as well, I dont want to run names past other people because I feel you're always going to get people who like that name and some who don't, whatever the name. My dp is the same, so don't think it's male/female thing though.

I found out the sex of my baby as it is my first and I have very limited experience of babies. I felt that it would help me visualise what it would be like to actually look after the baby if I knew the sex. I think it has helped...time will tell as baby due in four weeks!

hmmmm, I'm becoming curious now!

dont do it

I found out the sex of my 3rd baby (was a surprise and I was very ) I felt that knowing the sex would help me come to terms with expecting another baby. Already had a boy and a girl so it made no difference what we had.

It certainly did help as I could envisage my new little brood but I did miss the surprise at the birth

Oh I wouldnt, it is the most special surprise in life I think. I had DS and didnt want to find out for my second pregnancy either, at 7 months was called back in the the stupid doctor said "there's his spine & theres his scrotum"!!!££$%£&%$^&, she said "oh I thought you knew", apparantly I could sue but life's too short. But I did seem to get a "oh, never mind" reaction from people as it was another son. Your exactly right that you just want it to be healthy. x

For one couple in my hypnobirthing class the father had to know and the mother didn't. So the tech wrote down the sex for him so he knew, and he just didn't tell his wife.

if there's any chance you'll feel a tinge of disappointment if it turns out to be a boy, far better, imo, to feel that at 21 weeks than at the birth.