Everything makes me worry

[Discopanda]

I'm 23+4 weeks pregnant with DD2 but I cannot stop worrying about DD1, like every little thing will make me freak out and worry that awful things will happen. For example, the other day she kept letting go off my hand when we were walking down the street and since then I haven't been able to stop thinking about the possibility that she could have run into the road, a few nights ago I had a dream that we put her on a train whilst we were getting luggage out of the car and the train went off with her on it. I don't know if it's hormones making me worry more or if it might be something else. I check that she's breathing about 3-4 times a night and she's almost 3, the constant worrying is driving me crazy.

I'm exactly the same about my 4 children Hun (currently 31wks with no.5), honestly most Nites I'm laying awake with horrid scenarios playing out in my head, mostly about my lil 2yr old daughter, makes me cry. I'm very Hypervigilant due to suffering PTSD, I witnessed my sisters death by a Hit n Run driver when i was 15, this has scarred me for life, and seeing my mum go through that pain has terrified me, I know how precious our babies are. I'm scared of everything now, I check my front door constantly as I worry about lil one getting out, windows, fires breaking out at night time, even simple things like school runs n shopping are a nightmare due to the bloody roads. When my 7yr old runs about outside I panic that he's going to smash his face in, or when he does Roly Polys I think he's going to break his neck! It's never ending. The pain I feel from losing my dear sis is bad enough, can't begin to imagine a parents pain.
I sound like a loony! But ur not alone Hun. Have u been through any traumatic events that may have triggered ur anxieties?

I've always been a worrier and an over-thinker but it's been a lot worse since being pregnant. I'm not sure if I should speak to my midwife about it.

I keep having dreams I am going to be walking down the stairs with the baby in my arms and will trip and land on the baby.

DiscoPanda I think you should tell your Midwife about it Hun.

DiscoPanda,

I think you need to speak to your gp/mw.
I have suffered with anxiety and panic attacks for a long time and I still do get bad anxiety.
What you're describing is very familiar to me but that doesn't mean it's normal.
I think you need to try to put a stop on this. You don't want to let it spiral out of control. It's a horrible place to be in and the more you sleep on these thoughts the greater power and effect they'll have on you.
I think some CBT exercises would be helpful to you. The type where you write down your thoughts and analyse them, it will help you recognise thought traps like generalising, ignoring the positive, jumping to conclusions, catastrophising, etc. they really do help.
Ask for help please

I've got a midwife appointment in a couple of weeks, I'm not sure if it's linked to hormones or previous depression or just something else. I'll try writing things down though, thanks.