Wanting to BF but scared it will feel sexual,am I alone in this intrusive thought?

[TheScenicRoute]

Does anyone else worry about this?
Someone please reassure me this is purely an intrusive thought.
I can't stand the idea of sexualised and mothering feelings getting mixed up.

The sensation is just completely different, it's hard to explain until,you have done it but they just don't feel the same at all. No sexual response with breastfeeding at all.

It definitely does not feel sexual! I have very sensitive nipples and am easily aroused when DH touches them. Breastfeeding felt NOTHING like that. It kind of felt 'right' (once the pain stopped!), but not remotely sexual.

Babies don't suck and lick your nipples like your husband would. Your baby draws on your areola. It's not sexual, I promise you.

Please bear in mind that threads like this will be populated with lucky people for whom breastfeeding worked.

It wasn't a sexual feeling but I really didn't enjoy the sensation either (although in ds' case this may have had a mental component after breastfeeding went totally belly up with dd).

Bottle feeding felt a whole lot more natural to me and I was a lot happier once I had switched.

Yes breast is apparently best and all that but a couple of years down the line no one knows the difference. If it works that's great but don't feel bad if it isn't for you.

Brest feeding was fine here - not sexual at all. A beautiful experience to share with DC and it holds very happy memories.
However, my nipples/breasts used to be ultra sensitive and highly sexual! Since breastfeeding my nipples have no sexual feelings at all (and I see no point DH going anywhere near them - he may as well be licking/sucking my knee!).

Not at all toffee, don't make assumptions. Breastfeeding was extremely difficult for me, traumatic and not very successful. But it didn't feel sexual, which was the OP's question. Not whatever question you have answered.

I worried about this massively too before breastfeeding ds2 and was one of the main reasons I didn't breastfeed ds1 (and then regretted it). I also worried whether my dh would ever look at my boobs the same again!!! When it came to it though it just felt amazing, like I was doing whats right for my baby. It is a completely different feeling

Toffee the OP didn't ask how easy/difficult people have found BF, just whether it felt sexual or not. Two entirely different issues. I had mastitis twice, then ongoing oral thrush and then it all smoothed out and we had a fairly easy ride from then on. Doesn't have anything to do with whether I found it sexual or not though.

Mostly populated then (which I think is fair)

It is absolutely relevant. Most breastfeeding threads are mostly full of people who have enjoyed it and are therefore passionate about passing that enjoyment on.

Which is great but a little one sided

Leaking breasts with a bra full of cabbage leaves? That was my first experience anyway - sex couldn't have been further from my mind.

I fed all 3 & over a number of years - a baby doesn't do much with a nipple except shove it out the way - it's not sexual at all.

Mouths are used for kissing (sexual) and also talking, eating (not sexual). It's a shame we can't think of breasts in the same way. I bf 2 kids for between 13-18m and it wasn't at all sexual but it was truly one of the most wonderful experiences ever (apart from the hellish first few weeks)....close, snuggly, relaxing, intimate, but never sexual....

I remember worrying about this a lot too when I was pregnant. Let me assure you it is in no way sexual.

But again toffee she didn't ask if people enjoyed it, she asked if people found it sexual.

Is this for real? seriously why would this even cross your mind its 2 completly different things

ReginaBlitz, I think it's not so surprising given how sexualised women's breasts are in our society. If you've never seen women breastfeeding around you then it can be an alien concept.

Gottobe: meh. If you go through the thread and work out how many people, answered the question but went on to mention how lovely breastfeeding felt for them. There's a lot.

Not many people limited themselves to a five word answer to the question.

Your boobs are there to breastfeed. And anyway they will be that saggy when your done you won't even consider them sexual anymore

What lovely comments Regina.

OP I've worried about this too (shamefully moreso since finding out its a boy) so feel reassured by some of the comments.

Speak for yourself Regina.

It's a perfectly normal concern- and you've been brave to broach it.
Agree with pp- once you start you won't worry about it anymore (because there will be a thousand other worries!!)

As AnythingNotEverything said, the baby doesn't suck your nipple, the nipple should be far back in your baby's mouth, and the baby should have a big mouthful of breast. In fact, if you were to find that feeding felt slightly sexual, that may well be a sign that your latch isn't right and you need to make sure that the baby has a deeper latch, or you may get sore.

Regina, it is pregnancy, not breastfeeding, that can affect your breasts. Which is not by any means a guarantee that it will happen, as very often it doesn't!

For me although it definitely did not feel sexual in the way you are thinking I did in the early few weeks experience a vaguely similar rush of feeling in the pit of my stomach as when having sex. I put it down to all the oxytocin being released both times and the rush of love you get when feeding and just all the pregnancy hormones as I don't really get it now.

I reiterate, not sexual towards the baby. Don't think I have explained this very well and would be interested if anyone else hadthis

I didn't find it sexual, but I didn't like my DH going near my breasts during my breastfeeding months (14 of them). He just avoided that area and once I stopped feeding my breasts felt like 'mine' again and went back to being used sexually. That compartmentalization worked for me.

I really enjoyed seeing my DD get all excited when she was hungry and putting her hands on my breasts as she was feeding - it felt so close and loving.

It wasn't a 'sexual' sensation, but I also 'enjoyed' that feeling of relief you get when your breasts are really full and the let down kicks in and you start feeding - like when you're desperate for a wee, but stuck in a ten-mile traffic jam and you finally get to go!

Yes, gently I remember that - it was a lovely feeling, especially when winding down for bed time.

And yes, oxytocin is produced when having sex, during labour and during breastfeeding but they are all pretty different experiences!