What's it actually like having a baby?

[Chillyegg]

Due in April and I'm starting to feel my little bun in the oven kick it's amazing! However I'm starting to really wonder about what it's actually like in real life when you have a baby? It's my first and I'm the first in my friendship group/ family to have a baby! I've Bought a ton of books asked my mum and all that but still curious... Just wondered if anyone had any nice stories

Yay! Thank you Pacific. I'm sure I would have continued with my botched attempts all evening!

It's a good article too - there is NO way to be truly prepared for parenthood and it does get missold IMO and IME. I wish I'd known that it was ok to not like quite a lot of it.

I think a lot of people can be the other way round. When you have your first they say you won't want to work once they are here. You will feel different. You won't care about seeing friends or going out as you will be happy in. Then I found you could still do a lot of the same as before. Then they say wait till you have your second....then oh it will all change when you have your third...or wait until they are 3,4,5, whatever age. It only restricts you if you let it.

We had all the same when getting married as well. Its really bizarre as if marriage and/or children means that's life over for the both of you.

Thankyou lady's I shall take your advice forward I feel the main thing to take is to do my own thing and try not to feel preasure!

Prior to dd I was the least maternal personal on the planet. When she was born I was completely overwhelmed by a feeling of absolute love for her. You never lose that. No one can really describe just how much you will love your kids. Yes you'll be exhausted and tearful at times, especially in the early days, but that'll pale into insignificance.

Things you'll probably do when have a newborn that sound mad to the childless:
The first night you won't sleep. You will stay awake listening to your baby breathing, just to check they are breathing.
You will sniff their head about 50 million times a day. Ditto kissing their head.
You will waste hours gazing at them sleeping
You will wander around the house with your boobs out, and not care. You'll probably even eat your lunch with them out and a baby latched on. Your DP will come to regard this as normal.

The other thing that comes with motherhood is a new respect from your DP. You cannot watch someone you love go through labour and give birth to your child without being amazed by their strength.

Child birth is horribly painful but the gas and air gave me a nice little buzz lol. After that it's the nicest warm feeling ever holding your baby for the first time. Treasure every minute even the tantrums!

Well I found the whole baby thing fucking awful. I'm only saying this because if I knew one other person who said they hated the baby stage as much as me it would have made it more bearable. So here I am... just incase you do struggle as I did.

I hated the stress and anxiety of it all. When they're asleep I was worried they'd die of sids or vomit in their sleep, when they were awake I was too stressed and exhausted by it all to enjoy any of it.

My first birth was horrible from start to finish, I struggled with breastfeeding and gave up after 8 miserable weeks and I couldn't cope with the lack of sleep at all. It made me totally depressed and quite frankly resentful (and dd was a much wanted baby).

My second child -10 years later - was a better birth experience as I had an elective c section which was great but I still hated the whole baby stage.

Thankfully they don't stay babies for long and when they get to about 18 months it all becomes easier and I enjoy the toddler years and beyond.

I know some will find it shocking for me to say all that but sometimes it's good to know it's not all roses just incase like me you find yourself feeling like the only one in the world who isn't enjoying it.

But obviously I hope you have a great experience and love every minute!

I like Jamesandthegiantbananas description.

Thing is childbirth is painful but there isn't an opportunity to say 'oh, dear, I don't like this I don't think I'll bother'. Your hormones take over and baby is born regardless. Best piece of advice I had was that baby is going to get out anyway so I may as well relax and go with the flow.

I hated the last stage of pregnancy so much that I welcomed every agonising contraction as I knew he was coming out! You are just so waiting for the birth to happen, I wasn't frightened at all. Yes it bloody hurt but once he was out I was fine, sore but not agonisingly so. I felt better 2 days after birth than I had 2 days before.

Afterwards, life is very upside down for a while, and I think it really depends on what kind of person you are whether you enjoy the newborn phase. I didn't mind the 24 hours sleeping on and off, day and night don't matter thing, whereas I had a friend who was so desperate to get back to 'normality' she detested the newborn months. I have loved them, he's 4 months now and we've had a lovely time on the whole. People tell you its hell but it's also what you make of it. A friend who came to see us when he was 2 weeks old said 'it feels like Christmas round here', and I saw it like that, a break from normal regimented life and a kind of hibernation phase where I just dos what I had to to get through the days making him as happy and content as possible. I make sure we go out once a day, even just to the shops and back, but I'm happy in our own little bubble for now. I'm excited to do things with him and go to all the baby groups etc but I limit it at the moment so I don't feel stressed about having to do things, as they rarely sleep etc when you need them to :) I plan my days around him rather than vice versa, so I don't have to get wound up that 'he isn't doing what I need him to'. Shopping online is your friend! Just make it as easy as possible on yourself. I'm so excited for our time ahead. He's my best little mate, I don't feel lonely being with him because I feel he knows what's going on, I chat to him all day, he coos back, it's lovely. I do appreciate some people don't like this phase and prefer it when tt are more responsive, and yes he screams at me, and fights naps etc but he's also such a smiley and happy boy, I prefer to focus on the positive because you can't change the fact a baby cries and demands your attention all the time!

It's nothing like the books!

For the first month or so it was like someone had given me a kitten. It was cute, and I obviously didn't want it to starve to death or anything, but I preferred it asleep and cuddling rather than awake and needing something.

Just in case you don't get that rush of love at first - it will come, honest. It gets a lot easier when they start smiling, makes you feel like what you're doing is a bit more worthwhile!

The contractions bloody hurt but the last bit where you have to push the head out, oh my god yep that hurts too. Can't deny it's painful but you become so focussed on what you need to do that it is manageable. That was my experience anyway. I found the first few months bone achingly exhausting but I had a baby that cried and cried and wouldn't sleep. For me breastfeeding was fairly easy which was a saving grace. The older they get the better, more rewarding and more enjoyable it gets.