Coping with pg symptons while caring for child no1

[Bronze]

Is anyone else struggling?. All I seem to come across is people who are managing fine. I'm 8 weeks pg with child number 2 and I have a Ds whos 1. I'm absolutely knackered and feel sick from morning til night (oh actually when I get up in the night too). My Ds is so energetic and his latest tricks are to climb on the sofa and bounce and to climb onto the coffee table, its constant supervision. Our house has been on the market now for 10 months and we're desperate to sell as its too small (and dangerous) for the three of us plus dog let alone for four.
I know I really shouldnt winge as I have been blessed with so many good things but does anyone else in a similar position feel bogged down

Bx

You are definitely not alone in feeling like this. I'd be very surprised if all those you came across are managing fine - are you sure they're are not just putting on a front? Either that or they are quite unusual or supermums! I have struggled through most of my pregnancy with dd1 who is 2 (3 in May), especially in the first few months when all I wanted to do was wallow in feeling sick alone on the sofa and sleep all day. Now I'm in the last few weeks all I want to do is wallow again alone on the sofa and rest and do nothing! But as we all know this is the real world where you can't be as selfish as you might have been able to be in your first pregnancy.

Can you sit him in front of the tv or a video for a bit each day? I felt guilty doing this but then again it's a short-term solution and you need a rest for your own health and sanity. Do yo have a DP/DH who can take on a few more responsibilities, even if it's with some household chores? Can someone take your ds out and use up some of that energy for you?

Your body is going through a massive upheaval again, as are your emotions but it's all in the cause of nurturing another new being so don't think you're a failure if you have to ask for help from any relatives or friends or anyone else you can rope in for a bit of respite. Just play the pregnancy card as much as you can and don't feel guilty about it!

It is hard caring for a toddler, it is even harder when you are pregnant. I fell pregnant with Ds when DD was 2 1/2 so she understood really well and also she was an angel. If you worry about how you will cope you will work yourself up. Personally I think you should just take one day at a time and deal with things as they happen. My DS is also a climber, he is 2. I think boys are harder work (I know loads of people will disagree with me!) but from my own experience this is true! The sickness should pass soon (fingers crossed) and you will get to the 'blooming' stage of pregnancy. I don't know which stage that is because I never had it! But you might, you can always pray Good luck with finding a buyer for your house

There's only one thing for it - the square babysitter! People swear by Cbeebies, but my personal fave is videos (Tweenies, simple films etc) because they're much more controllable. Also, now is the time to get into reading quiet stories with him...that was just about the only shared activity I could manage during my first trimester with second child. Try channelling his energetic activities, for example, we have a long corridor in the flat, and when ds had been quiet for a long time, or was starting to get too active for me, I would send him to run up and down it several times, or roll a ball, or push a walker etc.

Surely everyone is either struggling or they have a lot of babysitting help? I'm pregnant with two other pre-schoolers and feel guiilty that they watch much more tv, eat more junk food and have a horrible stroppy inconsistent mother who doesn't want to play with them!

But in the long run, at least they will hopefully enjoy having a sibling.

my only advice is get as much help from childcare, friends, family etc as you can afford.

I'm lucky in that ds (aged 3) is good at playing by himself - but I do feel I'm letting him down a bit. I just can't be bothered to get out stuff for painting - or even read him a story sometimes. He is also watching a lot of TV.

I've pretty much given up carrying him around (he now has to be chased up stairs to bed, by dh pretending to be a bear). But the worst thing is when I get a bit short tempered and snap at him.

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This is whats putting me off ttc... I can only think you can say... its ony ten months of my life.... I had severe hyperemesis and despair of that again!
good luck hope you have more energy soon

I use the same justification as Fennel, ds will benefit far more from a sibling than from another trip to the park. He is watching more tv than I would like but I am so overcome with tiredness by afternoon that I have no alternative. He does pre-school 2 monings a week and only sleeps for 9 hours at night so that is a lot of time for me to entertain him and I just cant do it right now. Dont feel guilty, it is important for you to get some rest.

I remember agonising over this issue when I was pg with ds2, felt so guilty etc just as is being described here,
However, the bright side of this is that dealing with pg symptoms and coping with older child is a fraction of the matter of dealing with the new baby and coping with the older child - so look at it ast good practice, if first child can adjust ot entertaining herself and beingmore resourceful while you are tied up then so much the btter when your hands become really full with new baby.
it is heartbreakingly sad when you realise that the first child will no longer be the sole apple of your eye and consume all your attention and get all that one-ot-one, but life is going to change for the whole family soon and in a way it's a good thing that first child is getting used to it.
And god bless cbeebies, couldn't bf baby in peace with out it.

agree with everyting said here...its bloody hard work, you never seem to get a break.
have to admit i sat him in front of tv or video, you feel a bit guilty but you need some rest.
Take up any and every offer of help from friends and relatives. My mum often took him over to her house for a few hours in the morning. Also go to bed for a nap everytime he does, leave the housework until later.

Feel a bit bettr today as I have found a cure for my sickness. It seems that it is brought on by smells more than anything and as I now have a stinking cold I feel oddly a lot better.
I don't live near any of my family and friends at the moment but my husband sometimes travels up near his parents with work and they have said they will have ds1 for the day when he does. Phew, I've had 2 days off since he was born and it would be nice for some me time :D

B