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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

How do you feel when people say you're 'tiny'?

26 replies

mrshjb · 10/12/2014 10:39

I'm 33 weeks with my first and I've had quite a few people say that I am 'tiny' for this stage in my pregnancy. My pre-pregnancy BMI was 20 so I've always been pretty slim, but I have put on just over 3 stone so far, which I put down to the fact if I don't eat pretty much constantly I feel really sick. I am 5'10 and have what I'd call a medium frame, so I think it might just be that I carry my weight evenly and therefore don't look huge. My bump has been measured 3 times by the MW so far and the first two it came back right on the average line and the last time it slipped slightly under average but not so much she was concerned.

Part of me thinks it's better than when people were commenting on how big I was (which was just bloat and not bump), but part of me worries a bit that he's not growing properly.

This isn't a thread to slag people off for commenting on the size of your bump, because as annoying as it is, I have come to realise it's just part of pregnancy and most people don't mean any harm by it. Rather, I wanted to know how it makes you feel and whether it worries you?

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Foggymist · 10/12/2014 10:51

It doesn't bother or worry me, it's meant either as a compliment or just in an astonished way, that you can be so far along and it not look it. I'm 5ft 8 and just last night had two people saying they couldn't believe I'm 20 weeks because there is almost nothing noticeable, and yet the scans show a very developed bang on size baby, people are just intrigued. My baby's measuring perfect size for the dates, some bits are actually measuring further along, it's just not noticeable for now. Even the sonographer yesterday commented that there was "nothing to me" and amn't I lucky, the suggestion being that it's easier to be smaller because you've less hassle lugging around extra weight, and it's easier to lose afterwards.

It's never meant as a bad thing, I don't really understand when people get offended or worried by it. If the baby is measuring fine and doctors/nurses are happy with the growth and not concerned I wouldn't ever put any stock into a flippant comment by just a person (as opposed to a medical professional) about the size. But then my mum went into hospital to be induced at 40 weeks and the midwife told her she couldn't possibly be in to be induced because she clearly wasn't far enough along, so even they can say silly things too! :)

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 10/12/2014 14:36

It used to irritate me, as though they were implying there was something wrong! I measured spot on throughout so I don't know where people get these ideas from. I would never comment on anyone's size,big or small.

Passthebiscuitspls · 10/12/2014 14:48

I've come to realise it's much better than someone saying that you look huge!! I'll take tiny any day of the week!

MehsMum · 10/12/2014 14:50

I didn't worry about it: I was always told I looked 'tiny' and I measured small for dates and I had hulking great babies. Of course, I didn't know with DC1 that I was in line for an almost-nine-pounder, but I still didn't worry: I felt fine and the midwife was happy.

I think if you're tall, the bump looks less dramatic so everyone squawks, 'Oooh, you're TINY' when in fact your bump is just the same size as the one on the five-footer next to you who looks huge. Of course, if you ever survey yourself naked in a mirror, you know you're not 'tiny' at all!

daisychainmail · 10/12/2014 14:59

I just think ha - they don't know how slim I was before I was pregnant! My bump makes me at least 3 times as wide as before, but some people still haven't noticed it.

m33r · 10/12/2014 15:56

Same thing here. I bought loose clothes for work - usually wore fitted suits and dresses - and started wearing them as soon as I was 10 weeks. It means that I have no shape around the bump. Initially I worried but now that LO is moving I congratulate myself and take it as a compliment ... Then at weekends I fint the tightest bump hugging outfits and tell anyone who ask (and lots of people who don't!!) that I'm x weeks pregnant.

Smile and walk tall I say AND loads of extra mileage for Christmas pig out!

Misty414 · 10/12/2014 16:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TimefIies · 10/12/2014 17:04

At first I found it odd that on the same day in the same outfit I'd get the comments "you're huge" "you're tiny" and "are you sure there aren't two in there?" from different people.

I think the human brain just processes the thought "this woman is pregnant" every time someone sees you - and having noticed, people want to make some comment either way. Having been measured as bang on track for dates, I just smile and ignore these comments.

Neither the small/big comments are as weird as "you're all bump aren't you, you haven't put weight on anywhere else" and "you don't look pregnant from the back" (does anyone look pregnant from the back??). Again, I think it's just eyes telling brains they've seen your belly, and mouth coming up with something inane.

eurochick · 10/12/2014 17:08

I was told I was both tiny and huge, sometimes on the same day...

Towards the end, I was mostly told I was huge and was going to have a big'un. Actually, my bump was measuring about 3 weeks behind and my baby was growth restricted because my placenta was failing. People just feel the need to say something. Nod and smile.

Gunpowder · 10/12/2014 17:10

It's weird, I think pregnancy is the one time when normally polite people think it's ok to comment on your personal appearance!

Everyone carries their baby differently and different people put on weight in different places. As long as you and your baby are healthy that's all that matters.

I always think pregnant women look gorgeous.

IBelieveInPink · 10/12/2014 17:27

I had the opposite, people always told me I was massive (measured spot on) . Seeing as I had fears of a giant baby, this caused a lot of stress and worry for me.
Then worked out that even when baby pops, people still feel the need to comment on baby's size all the sodding time. This also stressed me.

Now, I nod and smile. and curse them behind their backs!

silverfishlondon · 10/12/2014 17:34

I feel a bit unhappy when they say I'm tiny, mostly cos I feel massive and now because I'm waiting for a growth scan as measured small ( and not changed measuments in 3 week period.) .

I know they mean well, they want to say something about the obvious change in my figure, and they certainly don't know I have bit of a worry if it is actually growing ok.

I think the best thing is to have something ready to say, as otherwise I find myself saying Thankyou and that doesnt seem right!
I say ' I feel massive tho' or 'it does depend what I'm wearing, sometimes I look huge' , ' I was a lot thinner once!' Or ' I felt huge at 6 months and was worried I'd be enormous, but it doesnt seem so dramatic since then'.

daisychainmail · 10/12/2014 18:12

Definitely consider it licence to take the piss.

'You're big!'

'You should see my salary!!'

etc.

squizita · 10/12/2014 18:13

I was pregnant after several losses and tiny comments triggered serious anxiety. People just don't think.

DD is perfectly ok and my birth was fine. I wasn't clinically too small at all!

squizita · 10/12/2014 18:16

Silverfish I had a scan as a mw got my funds height wrong. All was well! They err on the cautious side and rightly so. :)

MrsMogginsMinge · 10/12/2014 18:33

I know this is a bit weird/bad/vain but I quite like being told I'm 'tiny'. I think it's the novelty factor - I'm tall and somewhat overweight and have rarely been described as tiny before. Bump and baby are actually measuring bang on for dates but look small on my frame and I've been lucky enough not to put on too much weight elsewhere (so far). If anything I think my arse looks slightly smaller, although this may be a trick of perspective (like carrying a big handbag).

I think, on a less smug note, that people have an image in their minds of a 'standard pregnant woman' who is about 7 months pregnant. Thus you spend the 2nd trimester being told how small you are and the 3rd trimester being told how massive you are. Am now 30 weeks so bracing myself for becoming a 'huge' person again.

bearwithspecs · 10/12/2014 18:49

I was tiny both times and had big babies. Friends were huge and had tiny babies... It means very little. People don't know what to say so they come out with rubbish .. Instead of just saying 'oh you look well etc '

ChickenMe · 10/12/2014 19:07

I'd rather be told I was big than tiny because tiny would scare me that there was something wrong, however irrational.

JennyBlueWren · 10/12/2014 20:19

I don't know -they all keep commenting on how huge I am!!

OhTheDrama · 10/12/2014 20:22

I have had a small bump with all my babies. I'm quite tall with a long torso so I just think I carry it well. With DC1 it used to make me really anxious and worried that my baby wasn't developing and I used to drive myself mad comparing myself with other women at my stage of pregnancy. The comments I got were also pretty upsetting and intrusive with some people accusing me of alsorts. It used to bother me with DC2 but not as much as I knew I was like this the last time and had had a good sized baby (8lbs).

Now I'm 30 weeks with DC3 and take it with a huge pinch of salt, a lady commented the other day that I was tiny and she hoped I wasn't depriving my baby just to stay slim! I replied that no, I just had good genes and always carried neat, I took great delight in informing her that my last baby was over 9lbs. Her face was a picture.

bakingmad83 · 10/12/2014 20:26

It's not so bad when they just say that you're tiny, but when they specifically go on to say that you're going to have a tiny baby. I was charting along the 50th centile for fundal height and felt fine, but when midwife referred me for growth scan at 34 weeks due to low BMI I did start to wonder. She admitted afterwards that she had only done this to cover her own back just in case, but it was reassuring to see from scan that baby is growing spot on.

Aley009 · 16/12/2014 19:21

Weirdly I took offence to this haha mainly because I did not feel tiny in the slightest! I had these come nbte up until about 37 weeks and then my bump seemed to whale out and the next time j saw people at 38/39 weeks I was told how huge i was ! Apprently the baby grows most in the final two weeks, I get told im huge now I don't think any one can win on comments with regards to bump lol

capecath · 16/12/2014 21:17

I would take it as a compliment! First two pregnancies people kept commenting how "neat" and small I was. I did not produce small babies however... 3rd time round now, I feel massive at 27 weeks and people keep commenting on big bump - driving me nuts, just seems to get me worried about even bigger baby this time....

Original poster

mrshjb · 17/12/2014 08:25

Thanks for all the comments everyone, good to hear your opinions! I think whatever people say you could probably take offence, I don't like being told I'm huge or that I'm tiny! Went to the midwife yesterday and I'm measuring just under average but she says she's more than happy with the growth so that's the main thing :)

OP posts:

nutellawithbananas · 17/12/2014 08:42

I always took it as a compliment. I knew that under my clothes I was growing and midwife was always happy with how things were looking.
I just felt lucky that I didn't feel the need (or use it as an excuse) to overeat and pile on pounds that may be difficult to lose in the future fog of dealing with a newborn.

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