Hello, I'm new to mumsnet and a bit in shock at the moment. This might be long but I need to vent (sorry in advance).
I came off the pill earlier in the year, after being on it for 12 years due to problems with very painful irregular periods and endometriosis. 3 months ago, my periods actually seemed to settle into a 28 day cycle and to my (and my husband's) surprise, on Friday last week we did a HPT and it was positive. I had been having some side effects like sore boobs and feeling very tired and nauseous, but also spotting of brown or pink blood, so went to my GP on Monday. I last had my period on 16th October, making me now 7 weeks.
On Tuesday, I woke up at 12.30am in excruciating pain. I went to the bathroom and discovered that I was bleeding bright red blood. The pain was horrendous, I felt very sick and then passed out on the bathroom floor (I have a lovely bumped head). When I woke up I managed to crawl to the bedroom and wake my husband up. The rest is a bit of a blur as I kept losing consciousness and was in so much pain I couldn't really speak. He phoned 111 and they sent an ambulance.
I went to the EPU at the local hospital, and the nurse said I wasn't bleeding heavily enough to be miscarrying (it was mainly evident upon wiping rather than soaking pads). After a couple of hours, the doctor checked me and my cervix was still closed, but she cleaned away quite a bit of blood.
I was still in pain but it was bearable, so they sent me home with painkillers and booked me an appointment for a scan last night. All through yesterday I was bleeding, and 2 hours before the scan I passed a lump of tissue (probably about 3-4cm long) and I thought that was it, I had definitely miscarried. My boobs are also no longer sore. I was crying pretty much all the way to the hospital and my husband and I were ready for the news that it was all gone.
When we had the scan, it turned out that the embryo and the sack/yolk are all still intact, but the nurse couldn't find a heartbeat (it is 3.2mm long). The appointment was brief, I told her about the tissue and she said it could've been the placenta and that I should prepare myself for the rest to follow, but that it's also possible that it's just too early for a heartbeat to be picked up as the embryo is small. I have a scan booked for next Wednesday to see what progress (or not) has been made.
Then we went home, totally numb and not sure how to feel.
I've continued to bleed all night and still going now, although not soaking pads through. I don't know what to feel today, I am scared of what's to come if I have to pass the rest as the pain was terrible. I'm also scared of hoping that it is still viable and then having to go through the crushed emotions again.
Has anyone been through this at all? I just feel so alone and unsure about what to do or feel now.
I have a really stressful job and the last few weeks have been awful and I've been so stressed with work and professional exams at the same time (I had no idea I was also pregnant). I'm worried that that is why this is happening to me. I'm signed off work for a few days now.