Counting kicks stressing me out!

[joeschmoesmum]

I am 31 weeks in a pregnancy that has been full of worry anyway, partly because I am the anxious type and partly because I have a history of several miscarriages etc etc etc. I thought I was on the home straight, but the last few weeks, since passing 28 the kick counting is stressing me out! Bubba has days when he is not all that active, but seems to be ok the next.
Last Thursday I ended up going to my local maternity hospital (not in the UK btw) where I mentioned in had not felt much movement. All they did was jiggle my tummy and then a nurse/midwife put a stethoscope on my tummy, heard the heartrate and said bubba was fine.

I know that in the UK thee are guidelines about kicking etc and every concern is dealt with seriously. Here there are no such guidelines and in fact a friend who recently gave birth told me that she was not once told about kick counting. (In fact, when I told her I was worried as I had not felt him that morning she asked me if I feel the baby every day!!!)

Not sure what I am asking for- maybe just reassurance that activity levels vary anyway... Or some way that I can reassure myself every time I get nervous. Do a few kicks after a cold drink count?

Thank you!!

Didn't want to read and run.. I have a lot of movement anxiety. Some days (like today!) my little man is very quiet then he will have a lively day. I have been told by my mw not to actually do the kick counting but know my babies routine and report any changes in his usual patern of movement or type of movement.

I have been to the assessment unit multiple times due to him being quiet and they have always took time to reassure me. (Have been there today)

I never noticed any pattern to his movement which is apparently his pattern.

I am currently 36 weeks.

Hopefully someone might come along who is more helpful soon!

I just want to ditto what ducky has said above. My m/w too has told me rather than kick counting to just get to know baby's movements. I think there were the odd whiles at 28 weeks when I didn't feel much through the day. I am now 35 weeks and I am sure I would know if things felt different or out of sorts. My baby moves pretty much all the time, however I didn't think that at all at 28 weeks when she wasn't as big.

Try not to let it worry you. I'm 30 weeks on my 3rd and between the other two, work & life in general there are often days where by dinner time I'm not sure if I've noticed baby move all day. He probably has but I'm just to busy to notice! I defo paid more attention first time around but never properly counted kicks, would just try to get baby moving if I thought it'd been a while.

Cold water, lucozade, chocolate etc can all help but I recently discovered hot chocolate works a treat to get them active!

Ok my two top tips are:

If no movement drink a glass if iced water. That baby will sharp move and be so annoyed that you disturbed him and secondly buy a Doppler. They're quite cheap £20 ish and you can listen to the heartbeat yourself.

I am 30 weeks and listen to the heartbeat using 'tiny beats' app on my phone. I can't always find it but usually can and it's better the further along you are. That reassures me when I'm worried.

I'm 30 weeks today and baby has active days like today where I'm caught off guard his kicks are so strong. Yesterday however he must have been restful.
If you are worried then have some chocolate or a really cold drink then lay on your left side for up to 2hrs. They say 10 movements in 2hrs is average. If your busy running around at work then your very likely to miss movements as your not concentrating on them.
Don't forget as you get bigger your movements will naturally reduce as there will be less room for baby to move.

Just a note about dopplers if you have the placenta at the front like myself the heart beat will be very difficult to find so might cause you more stress.

Hi all, I can't do links on my phone but could I direct you all to coun the kicks campaign via Google.

This has the correct advice for mums to be.

Op, can you access other services? At the very least a CTG should be performed to ascertain fetal well being. Where are you based?

Another note, please all of you with home doplers pay that section particular mind.
Home doplers should never be used to provide reassurance as sometimes this is false and can lead to poor outcomes in babies.

Thank you, thank you thank you ladies!!
I feel like you ducky I don't think there is much of a pattern (though he does tend to be more active at night).
Question: he always moves when I have chocolate/cold water but do I count tht as being ok. What I mean is, if his pattern has changed (and he doesn't have much of one, I don't think, though generally v v active - I get to ten kicks two minutes into counting when he is active) but he is being quiet for a stretch does it "count" if I "make" him kick with chocolate/water. Btw loving the hot choc idea babybladder!

Yes it still counts if you drink or eat and then he has a good kick after.

Saw mw this morning who told me current advice is not to count kicks. And yes, a cold drink normally gets them wriggling.

Www.countthekicks.org.uk

Ahhhhh, this could so be me! Some days I sit there panicking and prodding my tummy, trying to get baby to move and then invariably the next day I spend most of the day willing he / she to give me a moment's peace! I'm sure I wasn't this anxious with my last DC! I'm 35 weeks now and have been like this for about the last 4 weeks. Hopefully only a few more weeks to go!

what country are you in op, sadly the uk has terrible stillbirth rates, the worst in the developed world, 17 babies are lost every single day in the uk alone.
every single time you feel there is a reduction in movement, it needs proper investigating

its not really the number of movements, its more a change in the pattern

info

I might spend 2 hours engrossed in work and then realise that I haven't felt anything in that time. I don't think that this is the baby not moving, just me not noticing.

I also don't know what the pattern is for my baby's movements. If I wanted to know that, I'd need to keep a diary and pay attention all day.

I do know that my baby falls asleep if I move about lots and then wakes up when I sit down. Much like a baby that falls asleep in the car.

Looking at the 'count the kicks' campaign, their advice is actually not to count the kicks.

I'm currently 33+3 with my first baby, so I know how you feel! If it's any help my bubba is very variable in activity. I've noticed a definite alternating pattern in movement, when baby will alternate between a super active day and a much quieter one. I think the poor thing tires itself out! I've also found it very positional. When baby is facing forward I feel every tiny movement, but if baby is facing side on or towards the back I feel much less. I don't think that's because baby is moving less, I just don't feel it as strongly.
If you're worried then a cold drink, a sugary snack and giving baby a good jiggle always makes mine jump around reassuringly. A cup of coffee usually works, too, but that's probably not terribly advised . If that doesn't work you should definitely seek professional advice.

I'm totally with you op. I'm 29 weeks with first baby and naturally anxious at the best of times. I've had two panicky trips to hospital so far when I hadn't felt anything for a few hours, and I'm sure they'll be more...it also seems that the advice from midwives and consultants varies. I've beentold 10 movements a day, and separately 10 in 2 hrs is normal, then that its patterns not the number of kicks that matters. The advice I'm choosing to follow (and its each to their own of course) is to look for patterns, kicks after a cold drink orlie down do count, and that if you're worried to go and get it checked straight away. Each time I have I've been really nervous I was wasting their time, but the midwives have been really reassuring that it's the right thing to go in and check... good luck!

Am also abroad and have never been told to count the kicks, but was told from 28 weeks I think it was that I should feel movement every day. And yes as everyone else says, busy and quiet days are completely normal, as is responding to cold drinks or sometimes even loud noises.

Actually had a scare yesterday, when she wasn't moving for a while. Called ADAU and they said to lie down on left side for 2 hours and count 10 kicks. The worry for me was actually mostly that her moving was weakened. Only 1 proper strong kick in 6 hours is not normal for her. But she has done some weak small movements, which apparently counts as well. So now I know and won't be wasting my time calling them if will have the same situation again.
I'm 34 weeks today btw.

Can you go in to be assessed est?

My movements changed around that time but I was told to report a change in the type of movement too and I always felt better after going in.

No point in sitting around worrying when you could be checked

Cold drinks and using a Doppler for reassurance is (albeit well meaning) frankly dangerous advice. If you are concerned, call your midwife. It's not so much counting the kicks but noticing a clear change in movement patterns. Trust your instincts, if you are concerned call for advice.

I am 31+2 with my first and the kick thing really stresses me out too. I spoke to my midwife about it because my baby definitely doesn't have any kind of pattern. I could say I feel him move more at night than the day but that's more likely to be because I'm laid down relaxing and thinking about it, where as during the day I'm hunched over a desk or walking around at work.

Midwife said if there is no pattern then that's my baby's pattern and if it gets to the end of the night and I haven't felt much movement then to call triage. So all the 10 kicks an hour or per period of being laid down seems to be irrelevant based on what she said. She did tell me that listening to a heartbeat on a Doppler kind of device isn't good enough to detect if there are any issues though so she strongly recommended against using that as reassurance. Like others have said I think it could be the position they are in as well that makes a difference, plus I've got an anterior placenta so know that I don't feel every move he makes. I do remember having a period where he didn't move as much just after 28 weeks so from what others have said that might be quite common.

I think for the vast majority of people it just causes a huge amount of unnecessary stress, but at the end of the day if you became one of those who did have a different outcome then you'd be looking back wishing you'd stressed more. So in conclusion I think you can't win and pregnancy is stressful!!!

You must not buy a Doppler. All midwives say that you should call them instead.

For example if you came across a serious car accident and someone had a pulse you wouldn't say oh they are ok because they have a pulse.

It's the same theory with Dopplers. They should only be used by experienced midwives because you shouldn't assume just because you can hear a heartbeat everything is ok.

If you are worried at all, call your midwife

Thank you for all the replies. It actually feels reassuring to know others are finding it stressful too!

trunkisareshite I appreciate the advice and I understand the dangers of cold drinks and home dopplers, but as I said I am not in the uk and there is no protocol for checking here. They don't do a trace or a non-stress test or even an u/s. As I said when I went in worried last week all the nurse did was jiggle my tummy, then listen with a stethoscope for less than ten seconds and told me baby was fine.

I could, theoretically, call my ob/gyn every time, but I would have to go into his office, if he is there, which he isn't during most of the day (office hrs 4-8) and possibly pay for the visit too (though to be fair last time I called with a panic he did not accept money after he saw me).

I am also now stressing about increased movement too. Bubba has been super active today, with very vigorous kicking (also could well be turning as was breech, def felt like some big movements today). That too has got me worried, as the website mentions that too... I guess it mentions any change in routine and activity.

I am slowly driven insane (as I think is my husband) and very unsure as to what to do to quieter my mind. I feel so responsible for this baby and want to bring him into this world fighting fit, but the kick counting/activity monitoring is really stressing me out!