benefits cancelled, pregnant and overcome with stress :(

[ParsleyCake]

My benefits have recently stopped because my student loans are apparently too high an income, and every week I seem to be receiving final demands for benefit overpayments in the post and I'm at my wits end.

I don't know why all of a sudden they seem to think I have so much money, because it's not true. I spent about two months at the end of the summer running back and forth from the benefits office with various evidence of earnings etc and received one months benefits, only to have it claimed back, as well as what seems for some arbitrary periods in the past five years.

I'm trying to deal with morning sickness, my job, exams and dissertation and somehow have to scrape together all this evidence AGAIN which is no easy task as I have had several jobs, usually with at least two at the same time as well as uni, and I've moved house about six times....I just don't have the time to deal with ths nonsense. I can't afford a bus so I have to walk half an hour to get to the council offices (not easy with constant nausea and fatigue), and I even have to skip university classes to do this.

We finally have a nice house with non abusive neighbours and a spare room for the baby, but with benefit services messing us around we have to once again go another winter without heating or hot water (except for electric shower).

I'm sorry about this rant, and I know life is just not fair, but I can feel myself sinking into depression because I can't deal with this. It's true that I can afford my bills with my student loan - but only just, and that leaves nothing to buy what I need for the baby, never mind heating bills (out of the question) or decent food which is supposed to be important for pregnancy. Everything I buy is asda smartprice brand and prices are still going up. I love my other half very much but he is hopeless with paperwork so I have to deal with this stuff. While he just tries to earn as much money as he can to help out.

Am I eligible for any benefits because I am pregnant? And how far along do you need to be to claim them?

Most importantly, is anyone else dealing with this? Sometimes the best therapy is to know you are not alone.

carole, you are not allowed to ask that question on MN without getting flamed. There is a great amount of contraceptive failure on MN, and then of course, the only option is to have and keep the baby and get benefits.

I think everyone needs to ease up a bit here. The OP wrote as she's stressed out and needed some advice and support. What she doesn't need is all the finger waggling and questioning why she's pregnant in the first place. We have no right to ask someone that.

OP: agree with whoever it was that suggested you get to your local CAB and maybe have a word with your midwife, too. Reviewing whether you would be better off putting your studies on hold till your baby is born and a bit older might be an idea. We are heading into a cold winter and it might be worth prioritising the heating and your food situation as soon as possible, for your health and the baby's. You are stronger than you think you are, so it's a matter of taking charge of your situation and making the changes happen, rather than relying on the system (although do take all the financial help on offer.)

I wish you luck and hope all works out for the best soon. x

Carlson - having the baby and expecting others to pick up the financial responsibility is not the only option.

People need to take responsibility fro their choices. No contraceptive is 100% effective. You accept that or you don't have unprotected sex. Easy.

Ugh to most of the responses on this thread. Do hope none of you lose your jobs or become unwell.

Agree with FeatherFeather11 OP, get some specialised advice.

I feel like people are being very rude for judging someone for having a child then worrying about money. Sometimes stuff happens and the op needs help and support! Not finger pointing! Unfortunately op like many others have said your not entitled to benefits if your a student and if you and your partner work then especially not so. Have you thought about interrupting your Uni course take a year maybe two yard out? My Uni friend did this and it helped her a lot!

Make an appointment to see the student welfare office. They will have someone who can tell you what you are and are not entitled to and maybe help you sort out your paperwork for the benefits office. They may also be able to give you a food bank voucher and point you in the right direction for help with baby stuff.

And ignore all the judgement on here, it's completely unnecessary. If only we were all as perfect as some eh? Good luck OP, it will be OK.

There are a few circumstances in which a student can claim benefits,it not as simple as just saying its a blanket no.

I'm guessing given that some benefits were paid previously that the op fits into one of those circumstances and it sounds like they have been withdrawn due to the grant.

Op it could well be worth you giving turn 2 us a call and getting them to do a benefits check for you over the phone and ask them about special hardship and claw backs.

I don't understand why you don't have sufficient money to heat your home. You have a student loan, you work and you have a partner who works. It seems on the face of it a fairly normal amount of money for a couple to live of. When I was at uni I only had loan and part time job. I had to be cheap with food and careful with utility bills but nearly all students do. I could put my heating on.

Do you have debts you are repaying? (Not student loans), are you living in London paying silly London rents?

As others said, go to uni support, I recieved a £300 emergency loan once.

You will get child benefit once the baby is born.

Speak to CAB if you have debt

Thanks to everyone with helpful advice. As a couple, we had been entitled to some benefits in the past as my partner does work full time but earns next to nothing as he is in an apprenticeship. He does help around the house etc etc so I don't mind that I take care of paperwork - it is just one thing, afterall! He is a good man and we each do our part as a family, so I don't appreciate some of the comments here.

To the few who made comments along the lines of 'you can't afford this baby', I ask what you suggest I do...a bit late for that, don't you think? Way to improve a girl's confidence. Everyone has unplanned hard times, I'm hardly going to let my baby starve or freeze.

You know, maybe I just needed to see how much the world doesn't care to put a bit of fightng spirit in me. Some of these posts were not what I personally would have written to a depressed pregnant woman, but I certainly thought, as I read this, well I sure as hell will have to do something to help myself as no one else will help me!

A kind word would have been nice, guys. Good thing I have a supportive partner and real friends who has some kind words in ths hard time for me.

I hope in your own hard times, people don't kick you when you're down.

Still, there some helpful cmments, so thanks for that.

Parsley, please don't let shitty judgemental responses drag you down. Take what is helpful and leave the rest at the door. Money woes are horrible, do seek support from uni and try turn2us as suggested too. It's going to be fine x

Just found the second page of far more helpful comments - thanks so much guys, I will look into all that stuff. My friends have really cheered me up this evening, so I feel like things are not so bad. I had a bit of debt, yes, and also had to pay for an expensive trip as part of my course during the summer. It was non optional so I had to shell out a lot for it. Also my partner's apprentice training has expensive equipment, so we had to pay a lot for that too.

Thanks again for the help. Tbh I prob won't check back as can't be bothered with some of the negative commentz, but thank you anyway. X

If you're a full time student and your partner is an apprentice, you will be entitled to a discount on your council tax. Not much help but it's a bit more money in your pocket at least.

I have no advise...Just wishing you luck with your pregnancy

I agree with the advice to get in touch with Citizens Advice. I suspect they'll be much more helpful at working out what's available and what your options are. They can also act as an advocate for you when you're finding it all a bit hard going.

Unfortunately the way our welfare systems work, especially these days, you may end up having to make tough decisions about studying versus not so you can get that extra £ a week to help you afford heating etc. crap, but one of those things.

Don't let snipers put you down. Stuff happens to all of us & the welfare safety net is exactly that. Personally I hope I never gave to use it, but I'm not going to be mean to someone that does as everyone's only about 2 pay checks away from easily finding themselves there!

Good luck & hugs x x

If you have debts owing on your energy bills, worth asking your energy supplier for advice. For example the British Gas Energy Trust can give you money to pay off bills, buy white goods etc. You are best to speak to a Money Advice service first.

Contact Step Change charity too,, they great for advice.

Also once you have a child, they won't cut off yr heating cos of an unpaid bill so at least when it's here you can be warm :)

You will be fine, ignore some of the replies, obv overly hormonal bitches!!

I'd contact your student union to see if there are any grants or funds you could apply for. Also use the benefit calculator to see if you would be better off not studying. When are you due? Could you finish a module, or semester and go back at a later date?