38.5 weeks and suddenly very very anxious and tearful

[cobaltblue27]

Hi Everyone,
I'm here to look for some understanding and reassurance from those who have done this before! I am due somewhere between 22nd and 26th November (irregular periods leading to some uncertainty on dates/conception), and suddenly feeling really anxious. I'm terrified about the birth, and really worried about how I will cope afterwards. I feel dreadful for saying this but I am even worrying about not liking my baby. I don't know what is wrong with me as everyone keeps on asking me about whether I am excited about the birth and saying things like "I bet you can't wait!", and I feel like a freak. We really wanted this child, but I just feel so worried. I feel huge and I am looking forward to not sharing my body with the Loch Ness Monster, but life is obviously not going to be the same again and I feel really frightened about it. I had a bit of a scare today as had a dreadful night, feeling very crampY and achey, wondering whether it was Braxton Hicks as it then stopped in the morning, but then I didn't feel the baby move for ages and got so worried I rang the midwives. They took me in and saw the baby move on the monitor (relief) and also picked up "uterine contractions". They initially thought I was in the early stages of labour and then after doing an examination told me that my cervix was still very closed. It's been a bit of an emotional roller coaster of a day, but I feel awful for being on the verge of tears when they told me I might be in labour and then feeling really relieved when I heard my cervix was closed. Am I a total freak?! Why am I feeling like this? Does anyone have any experience/words of wisdom? I promise I am actually not generally regarded as a dreadful, ungrateful, person, although this might me sound like I am!
CB

Ah Hun, it's totally normal to be nervous and anxious right before birth! Your life is going to change, your about to go through a 'trying' experience and your hormones are all over the place. I haven't done it before but I'm getting induced on Monday so I'm going though some crazy emotions myself. Yes, our babies are much wanted but it's still terrifying to think about bringing home something so totally dependent on us 24/7. Don't beat yourself up. I would recommend saying some positive affirmations to yourself as much as possible (e.g "I'm going to have an amazing birth experience" "I'm going to embrace motherhood" etc) whatever works for you and keep saying them. This is what my yoga teacher recommended. Staying positive will be helpful, but I totally understand the negative emotions coming though.

Try and relax and focus on all the amazing cuddles you are going to get soon and all the love you will feel and how lucky we are to get to experience this life changing event. Good luck Hun x

Completely normal in my 2 pregnancy experience! I got the blues last week at 39 weeks for no reason that I can fathom. They went away and I'm now varying between being chilled out, feeling exhausted, feeling full of energy & mild panic at not being ready.

It will be ok, just try to think positively. You will be fine when baby comes, the love you feel for the tiny thing is incredible. Don't feel you can't talk to somebody if things get too much, we all need to talk things out from time to time. You've done so well to make it through the pregnancy roller coaster, try to take the time tomorrow to do something indulgent like watch your favourite film with chocolate & popcorn or get a facial or something.

Completely normal - exactly what MrsL said. I'd also pass on some of the most useful advice I was given, which was not to panic if you don't fall in love with your baby immediately. It took me a little while with all 3 of mine but it did come! Really good luck - and be kind to yourself.