Negative responses to your pregnancy

[twinkletoes2015]

Hi all, I've done a previous post on why I have had a negative response to announcing my pregnancy from a person close to me. I just wondered if this has happened to anyone else, for whatever reason and how you coped with it?

In my little happy bubble, never expected my wonderful news to upset anyone and cause issues but it has and I'm stressing, upset and losing sleep.

My partner and I are beyond happy but it is only very early days so we have only told our close family in the hope of being able to share our happiness and excited and if anything bad does happen, we can have their support but I'm regretting it now

I can understand a degree of sadness from someone with TTC issues but in what blinking way are you out of order!!?? Is there some list that says who can get pregnant when? That's mental and your "friends" are not very friendly at all if they feel like that. Sadness is an understandable human reaction - abuse and anger isn't and it sounds like she needs some sort of counselling to try and come to terms with her personal grief at her situation.

I have already told my parents that I am expecting with DP and they were happy, I will be telling my sister tomorrow and I am a little nervous about it as I know via my mum that she and BIL have ttc #2 for a few years now. I want to tell her as I don't want to hide anything from her and we are quite close but I am very sensitive to her feelings. DP also hasn't told his parents yet as his sister had a mmc two weeks ago and it's a bit fresh so we don't want to upset them or his sister either.

I have found out recently I'm pregnant, I fell pregnant on the coil, so it was a huge shock for us, we have two children already. We went through a moment of considering a termination, I am just over 9 weeks though and personally for me, it was too late for me to go through with a termination. To be honest my husband hasn't been overely supportive, he doesn't ask how I am, or how things went at the doctors, earlier he told me he wasn't fully prepared to have another baby, which has left me feeling devastated, he has also been very quiet and distant lately, his family know and haven't messaged me once to say congratulations, my dad and sister are happy for us, but it seems no one else is. It doesn't help and at the moment I feel very alone.

A friend avoided a party we had as they thought we were going to be announcing a pregnancy and she had just had another MC. We missed her and we weren't pregnant yet at that point. Before I did announce I told her about it in person as I thought she might be upset. Luckily by then she was more comfortable with the idea.

Tillytoes, sending you massive hugs. Don't feel lonely

My colleague and his wife have been TTC for about five years. Messed about so much by their local hospital they are now receiving their second IVF through a different one albeit privately as they do not qualify AT ALL for NHS.
Anyways, I found out I was pregnant the same weekend they were due to test after their first IVF. They had a feeling it kwouldn't stick as the embryos weren't great. They knew we were planning to conceive number two but in all honestly, we never expected it to happen so quickly. He was the first person I told I was pregnant. He was grateful I wasn't going to hide it and TBH I felt that hiding it was disrespectful and we have always been close colleagues, truthful and honest with each other.
As it turns out, I am on sick leave from work and he seems to be shunning me now. Took him 6 days to respond to my news I was expecting a girl and the last message I got yesterday was 'a girl would be interesting'. Not sure how to take it and I understand they are having a horrendous time TTC but I should not be made to feel guilty for being pregnant. Fair enough, don't want to rub their faces in it but why should I keep my pregnancy or excitement under wraps to spare someone else? Why do my feelings not count???

God cheese, I don't get why people who already have several kids would be so weird about it. With childless people or those who have only one I'd suspect they have issues with fertility but if BIL just had his second it can't be that they are trying for a third and getting no where (for instance). Think maybe they don't want attention diverted from them.
I suppose we all have our own battles.

Big hugs to you! I've often found needaholidaynow that the best way to deal with parents like that is to keep getting on with your life the best you can. They'll soon see that you're happy and more than capable yourself.

My parents also have strong opinions about a lot of things (they are lovely though) but I've just gotten on with what I think is best and they can't deny it was right for me.

My sister is TTC is trying to conceive for 3 years now and although there's been rocky patches on the whole she's been great about it. I am still upset at my Dad though who told her behind my back. I would like to explain to him how much it hurt but he won't accept it - he's unbelievably sensitive and can't take any criticism. If you say one negative thing to him he bites back so it doesn't seem worth the effort.