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has anyone deliberately not seen a midwife through pregnancy?

17 replies

gigglinggoblin · 05/10/2006 12:25

because i have been so upset every time i have seen mine, she is the only one i can see and my doctors dont do prenatal checks.

obviously i dont want to put me or the baby in danger but the stress is just too much. i saw her yesterday and still feel horrible, she is so negative i am dreading seeing her again

sorry to go on, this is 3rd thread i have started after seeing her cos im upset, just wondered if there are precautions you can take on your own and if it is really particularly important to see her

OP posts:
anniediv · 05/10/2006 12:28

I can't advise you to not see one, but I am having my 4th at the moment, am at 16 weeks and have not seen anyone yet, and have not got an appointment booked until end of October. The reason is I have bad pregancies, and with dd3 was told I wasn't as far on as I thought, and I was so depressed that I had even longer to go. I haven't had any tests during any of my pregnancies, but have had scans, that is my preference, and as this is my 4th, I am kind of thinking 'what will be, will be'. Does that help?

gigglinggoblin · 05/10/2006 12:33

yes it does help thanks, makes me feel i am not entirely insane for considering this. im also on my 4th so do feel i know a bit about being pregnant! i have had scans and they were fantastic, its just seeing the mw again i dont want to do. do you worry about the tests they do when you go like bp/urine or just forget about it?

OP posts:
TheBlonde · 05/10/2006 12:36

You should be able to see someone else unless you are on an island with only one doc/ mw etc

anniediv · 05/10/2006 12:40

I am just of the frame of mind that whatever the baby has 'got' it is already done and having a test wouldn't change the outcome of the pregnancy. I still have my wee tested etc at appointments, I mean nuchal and triple tests etc. I just feel that it is a natural, human event, and as such trust my body to get on with it. The baby is not the problem for me in pregnancy, I am!!

By the way, I am not in any way having a pop at anybody who does have tests etc, it's just not for me.

PS also agree with theblonde, can you not find anyone else to see?

gigglinggoblin · 05/10/2006 12:43

dont feel up to the hassle of finding someone else atm, but thats probably as i am so miserable after yesterdays appointment. i didnt bother with triple tests etc but i dont think thats uncommon. i dont want to change dr surgery as i like the doctors and in 4 months this will all be over. suppose i could speak to hv (i have a good one!) she might have an idea of what to do

OP posts:
flack · 05/10/2006 12:46

Can you just delay appts, gigling? So when she says "See you in 4 weeks" see her 6 weeks later, instead, etc.? At least reduce contact. Get a home blood pressure kit if you're bothered.

flack · 05/10/2006 12:46

Can't you test your wee for sugar at home, too? Ask in Boots (don't tell them why or they'll not be helpful).

TheBlonde · 05/10/2006 12:50

It depends on how your care is structured but I would expect your mw to have a "boss" - usually the head of a midwifery team either in the community or attached to a hospital.
Call them and ask for a different mw

gigglinggoblin · 05/10/2006 12:50

thanks flack i think that pretty much covers what they do doesnt it? hadnt thought of just going to boots,thought it would be specialist stuff (foggy pg brain). is there anything else they do?

am not planning on calling to let her know or anything, just quietly disppearing and hope she doesnt notice

OP posts:
hatwoman · 05/10/2006 12:51

you absolutely have to keep an eye on your blood pressure too. Although you can buy a bp monitor from Boots and probably read up about what you should be looking for, I personally, would feel a bit insecure about doing it myself. The other thing is the baby's heart beat - that too needs listening to every now and then. If she is really so awful I would go back to your gp and ask if there is any way you can see another and/or have these things monitored. You could also think about an independent mw - if you didn't want them for the actual birth they might still be willing to do these checks for you and it might not be too expensive.

gigglinggoblin · 05/10/2006 12:52

she is attached to hospital but prenatal checks are at docs surgery and she is the only one. i suppose if i made a fuss i might see someone at hospital but just dont have the energy

have calmed down lots now, just talking about it is really helping. cant believe i am so worked up about something so trivial

OP posts:
gigglinggoblin · 05/10/2006 12:55

independant mw is way too expensive atm, i did look it up on the net. there is also nothing registered anywhere near me (its not like i live in middle of nowhere either).

i know they listen to heartbeat but what do they listen for? would movements be enough of an indicator that baby is ok?

thanks for all help btw

OP posts:
TheBlonde · 05/10/2006 13:05

You could ask the hospital if they run any mw clinics near you - you might be able to go to these instead

lemonaid · 05/10/2006 13:23

You can have your antenatal checks with your GP rather than with a midwife if you want -- at least that's what I was told when pregnant with DS. Obviously most people don't, because by and large the midwives have a lot more experience than the GPs anyway and the GPs are overstretched, but it might be an option for you.

maryhada · 06/10/2006 13:23

I'm a mw and am really sorry to hear that you're not getting on with yours. Please whatever you do, don't just do without antenatal care because it's very important and possible to have problems whilst feeling completely well. I don't know exactly what your problems have been with your midwife but you can see someone else if you want to. You could:

1 contact the midwifery manager and ask for another community midwife
2 ask to be seen at the antenatal clinic
3 ask another GP at the practice who does antenatal care to see you for this
4 speak to your GP about how you are feeling and have an arrangement to register at another surgery for the duration of the pregnancy
5 see an independent midwife or obstetrician privately although this is likely to be expensive.

There is no need to feel uncomfortable about asking to see someone else because this does happen from time to time. The most important thing is that your health, and the baby's, is monitored and that you both have a good outcome.

weirdbird · 10/10/2006 13:30

I asked to see a different midwife after mine was soo negative about the plans I was making.

Was really scared about rocking the boat etc..

Took a while to pluck up the courage, but in theory you have about 4-6 weeks to sych yourself up!

In my case I did ask to change (I phoned the head of the community Midwifes) everyone was really nice about it and my new MW is great and I get on with her, it really does make a world of difference.

Monkeychopsmummy · 13/10/2006 18:07

Home bp monitors are not always accurate. I went to Dr/MW regularly for check ups but towards the end also checked my bp at home - I checked it one day and it was way up (I usually have v.low bp) I went straight to the Dr (in a bit of a panic) and my bp was normal! Imagine if that had been the other way around and I was relying on that without the regular checks. I think the pee test is also vvv important to have regularly - doesn't it pick up early signs of pre-eclampsia?

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