body image during pregnancy

[nataliekristin]

hi all

I'm 21 weeks now and for most of the pregnancy I haven't felt up for much activity in the bedroom with DP due to being sick and tired all the time now I'm starting to feel just slightly better but now I just feel bloated and fat and really conscious of the changes in my body. I feel like i have piled on the pounds and daren't weigh myself...

anyway, I'm starting to get worried about DP and the lack of intimacy in our relationship now. We still love each other as much as we always have and cuddle, but there has been no sexual interaction in about 8 weeks now. I keep dreaming about sex with him but it just doesn't happen in real life!!

is this normal? should I just give myself a shake and hope he accepts my changing body even if I can't? I just feel I am letting him and myself down for some reason

A lot of women struggle with their body during pregnancy, that is really quite normal. I found it better once I had a much bigger baby bump and it stopped feeling like being bloated and solid around the middle. I imagine at 21w you aren't quite there yet? I don't really have any wise words other than to focus on the fact that your body is changing for a reason and its not weight gain but your baby. But that is so much easier said that done.

Re not wanting sex, that's also quite normal. We have very little sex during my pregnancy, most of the time because I was sick and tired, but I just didn't fancy it at all. The important thing, I think, is to be honest with your DP. It's not him, its the pregnancy. You love him and fancy him, but at the moment sex isn't something you're up for.

Don't worry too much! I have no wanted sex during pregnancy as i am petrified he is going to pop something and the baby will come out lol ridiculous i know!! I just can't get my head around being intimate. I'm only 12 weeks, so maybe one day soon we can have sex! But it is the last thing on my mind at the moment! Luckily my partner is the best and completely understanding, our relationship has never been just about sex so it hasnt changed how well we get on and we still hug and kiss lots!

Thanks for replies both I just get so down about it some days. As you say, I'm putting on weight for a reason, a healthy baby. it's just hard to take some days. my bump just looks like a fat belly along with the rest of the weight I've gained around my bum and thighs! I can't wait to have a bump that is unmistakable for a pregnant belly!!

Hi Natalie, re the intimacy, my hubby has never had a massive sex drive but since knowing we have a baby growing he feels a bit funny dtd. I understand what he means an to be fair I'm worried I'll bleed (which I do a lot during dtd anyway) I keep thinking it's not normal but from reading your post its reassured me it seems to be quite normal. I think we're just going to take it slow and just go with it xxxx