medical management or surgery?

[Lawofsod]

Hi all. I had a scan at 8 weeks yesterday showing a MMC with no visible embryo. This is my second of these (third miscarriage, no kids). The first time I waited it out but it took a month to start, was horribly painful and bloody and pretty traumatic. I don't want to wait this time.

Last time I kind of wanted to experience the process to feel it was real, this time I want to feel as little as possible and get it over with. I'm really not looking forward to medically inducing the same situation (although I would hope for better pain relief this time). But I am worried about damage to the uterus/Asherman's Syndrome. My chances seem crap enough as it is without adding to the problems.

Any advice or thoughts? I know it's pathetic but I am feeling pretty miserable at choosing between such rubbish options… But I have to phone and let them know asap. If I do medical it will happen Fri/Sun. If I have ERPC they only do them once a week on a Tuesday, so a week away. Great.

Many thanks in advance

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage

Sorry for your loss OP - this board may yield more knowledgeable responses.

Not what I meant at all - I was just letting the OP know that there's a whole board dedicated to the subject of pregnancy loss.
Sorry for your loss also.

Thanks so much ladies for your replies. I have read all the stats thanks to hospital and miscarriage association but it really helps to read people's personal experiences. It's a human thing to have to go through after all, not just a set of numbers.

I still don't know what to do - oh dear…...

Sorry for your loss.

I had a MMC two years ago and chose the medical management route. Like you I had had other miscarriages and no children at the time, and felt like everything was already stacked against me so didn't want to take any chances with surgery damaging my womb. I also found, from a psychological point of view, that I needed to 'give birth' to totally feel closure - for me personally I didn't want to just wake up and it all be over, but I understand that everyone is different. The medical management was very painful, and I bled quite a lot (although not so much as to need interventions etc), but the pain and bleeding pretty much ceased after the foetus was delivered. The whole thing was done as an inpatient and I went home around tea time.

I know you'll be feeling pretty hopeless at the minute, but if it gives you some hope I had three miscarriages (so was 'officially' a serial miscarrier) before naturally conceiving my DS and having a text book pregnancy. He's currently napping in the other room and is perfect in every way!

It's very hard to convey subtleties in text isn't it. The point about reading other posts on the other board is a good one -there will be lots of people who unfortunately have had the same queries. I personally think the other board is too hidden away in the body and soul topic hence why I gave the link.

I've had 4 mmc. One was medically managed, the rest were ERPC. I much preferred the surgery as it was quick, and I stopped bleeding within a few days. However my last one in March did linger as I had a small amount of retained tissue. My medical one didn't work and I ended up bleeding lightly for 9 weeks. Almost drove me mad. However I completely understand the worry of ashermans. For that reason alone I would opt for medical management even though it dragged out for so long.
Don't lose hope, I have a ds now and am 18 weeks pregnant with my second. Just give yourself lots of time to grieve and cry, get this next stage over with and then see where you are at. I'm so sorry you are going through this again, I know exactly how you feel, and I really hope the next one (if this is what you choose) is a wonderful sticky bean x