Hi Honey
First of all Im sorry for your loss. And what you had to go through.
I was in a similar position on Im greatful that my turned out better.
I was 28 weeks when i started feeling unwell, I had been suffering with a headache for a few days, but I was also in the process on moving into my first home. I went for a midwife appt at 30 weeks to be told I had protien in my water but not enough to be concerned about. I went home and basically slept on and off for the next week or so. I went back for another mw appt at 31 weeks, told the midwife I still had a headache i couldnt get rid of, she told me I still had protien in my water, to go home and rest and if it was the same at my next appt then she would admit me for more tests. That was a tuesday afternoon at 1pm, I went home from there, went to bed and didnt wake till the next day.
When i did wake the next day I was in agony and very swollen, just like you described. My DP at the time rung the labour ward and I was taken in. When i got there i felt fine, headache was still there, they made me a cup of tea and some toast, check my bp, it was high I think. I wasn't really told much until I asked when i could go home. Then i was told I wouldnt be going anywhere till my baby was born.
To cut a long story short, My ds was born very small at just over 31 weeks. He was ok, just small so was taken straight to scbu.
I however on the other hand wasnt ok. I remember the day he was born, I remember the scbu nurse showing me a polaroid picture of my ds and thats it. The rest My family have told me. The next day the docs came on the rounds, I had no movement in my right side at all. They could wake me either. I was transferred to ICU for tests, mri scans, lumbure punctures. My family where all forced to come out of work, and from where ever they where living at the time and they was told if I survived I would certainly be in a wheelchair and never be able to walk again.
2 days after the birth i was transferred 40 miles to a nuero centre, my family had come from all over the country to "say their goodbyes" I was in a coma for 9 days. Finally though I did come round, i had more tests and My pre eclampsia had developed into eclampsia and I also has cerebal odeama (swelling on the brain) and a mild stroke. Alot for a 20 yr old girl to go through. I dont really remember all of it, I was moved from ICU and taken to HDU, then to a recovery ward, I proved all them doctors wrong once there and got up out of bed to go to the toilet. Shortly after i was taken back to my hospital where i met my ds for the first time. I have no side effects of what happened.
They couldnt tell me then why it happened, just put it down to one of those things, I was also told 4 yrs ago when i asked my doc about having anymore children, "there are some women i would say never ever get pg again, but your not one of them women, theres a 50/50 chance it could happen but we would moniter you very closely and it would never get to that stage again".
I went onto to have 4 mc's after my ds and have been diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder called factor V leiden. They have told me this was also the reason all of the above happened.
As for advice as whether you should try again, its totally up to you, I can try and explain what to expect. I am now 20 weeks with my 7th preg but second child. I am anxious, on baby aspirin and heparin injections. My blood pressure is ok this time, but the one thing I do have on my side is that I now know what to look for and can be treated right away. I have changed hospitals too but even these doctors want to keep an eye on me from 20 weeks, the midwife is at the other end of the phone and I have my own bp machine at home and have learnt how to tell whether my bp is high or not.
Sorry this was long and Im sorry if any of it upset you. I did get told to wait 3/4 yrs to try again and my ds is nearly 5 now. All my mc's have been in the last year.
Good luck honey and I hope I have helped you ((((hugs)))))
Julie x x