Alone during pregnancy

[portialovex]

hey guys this is my first post I'm a newbie. I was just wondering if anyone out there has been in similar situations and had any advice or encourage words of wisdom for me, I could really need it right now!!

I'm 21 and 7 weeks pregnant. I'm unemployed now due to cut backs, I am in debt and I am down to my last bit of money in the bank. I will be made homeless soon as there's no room for the baby and myself anymore. My mum is not supportive of this pregnancy and wants me to have an abortion and the father the baby the same, he will have no contact at all if I continue with this. The rest of my family won't be supportive either I already know. My friends won't really be that interested.

So yeah to sum it up, I'm broke, in debt and pretty much alone and will be homeless soon and these pregnancy symptoms haven't been great (I slept and cried all last week pretty much, I'm exhausted and emotional!!)

So if anyone has some advice that would be great or any stories please share.

I also feel guilty for considering a termination as it might be easier but I don't want one as I've had one before.

Only you can make the decision reg termination but if you do go ahead with pregnancy there is lots of help available.

If you can get your name down on the list for a house and speak to citizins advice or equivalent for help with regards to benefits etc depending where you are from if your on certain benefits there are maternity grants available to buy baby stuff etc

Also just because the father had chosen not to want to be involved he will still have to support the baby by paying maintenance

Yes, you should go & see Citizens Advice or get into contact with your local council or housing organisation. You need to get yourself onto a list for housing. At the same time CA will advise you as to benefits available to you now and for when you're in a house & when the baby's here. The state is there to support you. CA can advise you as to your debt & the support you're entitled to from baby's dad.

Is there a local community centre? They may offer job clubs or young parents / single parents groups. Perhaps you've still got a local Sure Start Children's centre? There will be lots of people, volunteers or professionals, who are there to help (or are in a similar situation) you've just got to go & find them.

I can imagine you're scared, emotional & worn out. In your position I'd want to make a plan, but I'm a bit like that - it makes me feel in control!

Good luck x x

Hi, so sorry to hear you're feeling like this. I'm 21 too and I know it can be a scary time. I agree with the other posters, could you speak to citizens advice? I'm sure they'd advise you about the job centre too if necessary. Or could your doctors even suggest a route of who to speak to, for you? Like the others have said, there are people out there that will be more than willing to help and guide you. Please let us know how you get on, wishing you all the best

I'm 21 and 33 weeks with my first baby. I am also on my own as my partner was extremely volatile and an alcoholic.

I had to move away from him at 10 weeks and start setting up home again when I was sixth month pregnant. Thankfully my friends and family have been very supportive of me though.
I also had to leave my job and have just heard it has been terminated, and have worried about money all the way through my pregnancy but have managed way better than i thought I would.
Feel free to message me privately if you need to talk or winge at anyone. I do not mind at all. I know how worrying and stressful it is.

xx

You never know, you mum may come around. My mum was the same when my got sister pregnant at 21 And by the end of the pregnancy, she was really excited and supportive. I echo what the pp have said, speak to citizens advise to get money and accommodation sorted, get to your local children's centre for support, my local one has lots of groups for all sorts of situations for pregnant women, they also give baby equipment for free to those in need. Google support for single mums in your area and lots should come up. Good luck.

Where abouts are you? if you decide to go ahead I also have a cot and bouncer spare

So sorry to hear that you are having such a horrible time pet. Pregnancy is scary even when you have all the support in the world, especially in this early stage when your hormones are racing and you feel exhausted and sick. Your mum and the baby's father shouldn't be behaving like this. They have no right to put pressure on you to have an abortion. There is nothing wrong with having one if it's what you want to do, but the decision is entirely up to you.

If you do go ahead with the pregnancy, the first bit of good news is that under the law, because you're pregnant and your mum has pretty much asked you to leave, you're classed as vulnerable which means that the government has to support you with benefits and housing. As the others have said, you should go to your nearest citizens advice asap - you can find out where they by going to this page and putting your post code in at the bottom.
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/index/getadvice.htm.
The second thing to be aware of is that there are ways to get your debts written off or at least put on hold. Again make sure you talk to Citizens Advice about this. They should be able to help you make the applications and soon you will have that weight taken off your shoulders.
Once you have got those things sorted you can think about what you need to get for the baby and for yourself. As Christmasmammy has shown there are a lot of very kind people out there and you may not need to buy much. Also, once you're settled somewhere you might feel like getting a job again for a while, which will put you back in control of your finances. I suppose what I'm saying is that things will get better. Just take it step by step, starting with Citizens Advice. Good luck and let us know how you get on xx