Pregnant and Alone

[portialovex]

Hi everyone, I'm new to this as I didn't know where to turn. So if anyone out there has any advice or stories I would love to hear! I'll try make this quick.

I'm 21, 22 in the new year and I am 7 weeks pregnant today. The baby's dad is aware and has said he would not be involved at all and would only support me at an abortion clinic. My mum has made it clear She isn't happy and wants me to get an abortion. For the past week I have been going down the abortion route but I've had one before at 18 and I really cannot do it again. This is my baby and I want him/her.

I will be homeless if I have the child, as my stepdad and mum won't have living at home and there will be no space (I am already a failure in their eyes as I decided against uni) I will have no money as I lost my job back in September due to cut backs, I am in debt and have 0 income now. I really can't help but think abortion might be the easiest option but I don't think I'm over my first one and that happened 3 years ago I still think about the what ifs.

I know I'm young and I have the world to explore but I am quite a boring 21 year old I don't want to travel or go back packing and I enjoyed working in an office and working my way up. I'm quite happy and in terms of partying I've done a hell of a lot of that and I'm bored and never have enjoyed it anyway. I prefer meals, museums and cinema with the few friends I do have. Girly holidays been there done that.

So what should I do any advice R.E debt or where I can go for professional advice about being pregnant and homeless etc would help and like I said any similar situations you have experienced would be great to hear.

Portia,

Where abouts in the country are you? There might be support groups/ charities locally that people know about near you.

I am so sorry this has worked out like this. Women do go it alone like this, although I suspect it'll be tough.... But then women are to!

I would suggest working on building a support system around you, why don't you approach citizens advice, or your GP / midwife will be able to set you up with a social worker who could support you. Could you start attending support groups now, or even volunteer at toddler groups/breastfeeding support groups so that you can develop a support system now and maybe get in contact with people who would be able to pass on the stuff thier babies have grown out of.

I'm sure it must be possible, but you'll need incredible strength of character to get through this.... At times I've lost this from time to time purely because of the cruel pregnancy hormone ups and downs, just remember that it's normal to loose your confidence and regret this on occasions during this roller coaster, but make your plans on your good positive days, and allow yourself the negative days and accept them as normal. The next 2 months might be extremely hard with morning sickness and you are absolutely bound to have more than your average down days as a result. Embrace the good days!

I'm sorry you have ended up in this situation, you'll have to be strong but remember there are support groups all around you, you just need to look.

The first step would be to go to a citizens advice and get as much information as you can from them, such as emergency housing and benefits. They'll also be able to help with filling out paperwork and put you in touch with support groups around you. Please please take advantage of them, after all that's what they are for!