Antenatal classes and lesbian couples

[MirrorMouse]

Hello!
I have posted a question about this on the LGBT parenting board, but it's not a very busy board, so I thought I might have more luck here.

We're a lesbian couple, I'm pregnant and we're thinking of going to NCT classes but not sure what it would be like as lesbians, and probably the only lesbians in the class. Does anyone have any experience of NCT classes and have any thoughts about this? Were there diverse families at your group...single mums etc, or was it just straight couples?
Do you think the course leaders would be good at including us??
Probably impossible to say I know but it's expensive so don't want to spend money on something that might make us feel excluded....

Thanks for any ideas

Mouse

I didn't go to an nct group but there is a group of parents with children the same age that meet up and the kids play/parents chat. There is one lesbian couple and a couple of single mums, I don't think the more diverse families are in anyway treated differently to the more conventional families, the only difference is how the sperm met the egg and that topic of conversation has never come up!

Best of luck with your baby :)

I did a couple of NCT classes, no lesbian couples in mine but I don't think it would have been a problem.

And in the latest issue of our local NCT magazine, one of the birth announcements was for a lesbian couple so I think it's fine!

It's such a good way of meeting other new mums that it would be a shame to exclude yourselves....

One lgbt couple on mine a few years ago. Rest were male and female but a mix of married, not married but living together, one with 20yr age gap etc - ie not all the same! The leader was fantastic and information useful. Not a group that ended up being " friends" as such - that can vary from group to group as to what people want from such a group and people involved and where they live etc. 2 couples did ivf, some took years, some were 40yr olds, some were in 20's etc.

Hi and congratulations,
I did parent craft run through the hospital and the couples there were diverse... Mixed race, older, young and 2nd marriages.. But no gay couples. However the class would of been appropriate and everyone would of been included.
There was the chance to see the equipment used... Needles, forceps etc and then lots of couples breathing exercises and helping with birthing positions, no one was looking at the other couples just focusing on learning birthing skills!
If your hospital doesnt offer you a course then try ringing a local childrens centre, they often run classes and it might be nice to meet other new parents locally. If you are having to pay for a course discuss your concerns with them, i'm sure the leaders would be very supportive of you.

Yes, lesbian couples absolutely do attend and NCT teachers make sure they are very welcome. Male couples with surrogates sometimes attend too.

I did nct class yonks ago & I think it would be fine - even then. I suspect it would probably be better then a hospital class - not because of the staff, but I suspect the nct group generally would be v open minded. ( not that I have any evidence for this apart from my own experience - so probably a massive generalization).

We had lesbian couple in ours, and it went fine at least from an outsider's perspective! They've both been part of a group of us who catch up semi-regularly in the nearly 2 years since and we all get on well (I think the devout Gina Ford mum probably had more confronting questions asked than they did!).

I know a lesbian couple via NCT and to the best of my knowledge they were well treated. Certainly in my class everyone was referred to as partners anyway, as most of us weren't married.

Wow, thanks for all the thoughts and the congratulations as well

Turtle...you're right about excluding ourselves! It's a bit silly to worry about being excluded so much that we exclude ourselves!
Nice to hear all the experiences of nice groups with people in different circumstances. I had ivf so will probably have that in common with some other people...
There is a children's centre near us so will have to see what they have on too.

congratulations on your pregnancy MirrorMouse :)

just to say i am doing my NCT classes with my sister (refresher as 2nd birth) so we're not going to be the usual straight couple either. she will be my birth partner this time round.

i absolutely echo not excluding yourselves, i honestly can't imagine anyone would have batted an eyelid in my 1st lot of NCT classes at a lesbian couple and it didn't occur to me that taking Dsis this time would raise any eyebrows. The information for birth partners is great and the chance for them to think about and discuss their roles really helps for preparation.

We were a pretty diverse bunch and as patience said you're more likely to stand out for strong views on parenting styles / birth plans. We had one couple set on hypnobirthing at home and another desperate for a c-section!!

XX

I didn't attend NCT (too expensive and too late in the day) but at the NHS classes there was a lot of diversity. Married and unmarried couples, 2 lesbian couples, 2 ladies with their mums and one with a friend (I assume, they could have been a couple now I think about it).

And we live in a fairly non-diverse town in doth west

South west England. (Sorry posted too soon!!)

No one batted an eyelid. The only thing was the pregnant ladies were separated off to talk about breast feeding whilst the birth partners talked about being supportive in the first few weeks. I didn't see the point in the separation myself.

All straight couples in my class group but I can't imagine you would be excluded. And you don't tend to discuss how you actually got pregnant (ie: if anyone had fertility treatment, tried for a long time, etc.) as a matter of course so you wouldn't have to disclose anything personal unless you wanted to share. I guess it depends on the other people in your group how accepting they are but I'm sure the actual NCT is open minded and inclusive as a policy. It's a great way to build your community of friends who are going through the same things as you so I would definitely recommend it.