Body image in pregnancy

[VintageCherry26]

I know I'm not the only ones with concerns about this, so I thought it'd be beneficial to have a little support group for this affected. I used to be pretty skinny (despite thinking I was fat) I struggled with poor body image since the age of 11 and bulimia from the age of 15 which got worse in my late teens and early 20s which caused some health complications. I used the start of my relationship with DP

(Sent too soon)
...as a fresh start so I forced myself to stop, not without a struggle. That, coupled with being prescribed an antidepressant that is infamous for gaining weight made me rapidly put on the pounds. Along with my anxiety preventing me from leaving the house to exercise. I began to successfully lose weight recently after a struggle, but now that I've fallen pregnant I'm finding it hard. I'm eating healthily and the recommended amount, I would never underway to lose weight at the expense of our baby. Never ever. but I'm so anxious about weight gain. I already have stretch marks and loathe the way I look. I avoid leaving the house because I'm worried people will look at me and think I'm fat, especially people who knew me when I was skinny. Even more so since I'm early in pregnancy and am not showing & not announcing it. Does anyone else have concerns like this or do I need to just get on with it?

You're not alone. In this horrific skinny driven world where we're fed the same rubbish by some media day in day out its difficult to realise what a normal body is. Especially during pregnancy.

It sounds like you're doing all the right things for the baby. So give yourself some praise and focus on that. A little weight gain is inevitable in the end. The worst thing you can do is beat yourself up. Focus on the beautiful baby you are supporting and think about dieting afterwards, if you even need to.

I'm worrying about it too. But bar eating well and exercising sensibly there's not much we can do. Keep sane!

I was the same, I struggled with my changing body throughout my pregnancy (my son is 9weeks old now) having to pack away my "normal" clothes for maternity clothes caused a bit of a meltdown in my house, what I can say though is it does get easier and you begin to accept it round about the point you start to feel movement and notice your tummy rounding out, for some reason I suddenly thought it's worth it, I relaxed, don't get me wrong I still ate cearfully didn't up my intake till the last trimester when it was needed. I ate healthily and gained about 10kg during my pregnancy.

my scans always helped me too, made it more real.

don't worry your not the only woman feeling a bit down about it and you won't be the last.

Thank you :) I know it'll be SO worth it. I want nothing more than to have a baby and I would sacrifice anything to have a healthy happy baby! I'm going to continue exercising as normal to stay healthy, and eat as healthily as possible and that's all I can do for now!!

I'm 25 weeks and completely hate how I look now. I've put on 11kg and have gone from a lovely little size eight to feeling like a whale. My thighs are at least double their old size when I sit down, my arse is enormous, I can't do up my winter boots and I just feel awful. My husband has gone off sex recently too, which I keep trying to reassure myself is normal in pregnancy, but it just makes me feel worse about myself despite him being lovely in all other ways and saying nice things about my tummy. I'm constantly looking at skinny women in real life and on tele and wondering if I will ever get back to that which is ridiculous as I used to look in the same way at pregnant women. It's better now I'm obviously pregnant and no longer feel like people will think I've just got fat.

I think the worst thing is feeling so guilty about being bad. I love being pregnant, I love that I'm creating a life and, honestly, how I look is so vain and horribly self centred of me - I feel awful for having any negative feelings at all when I'm so very lucky.

Don't feel bad pippinleaf, I know it's easier said than done because I'm in the same situation, only I'm just 5w5d so it's only going to get worse! Knowing how lucky you are is enough ! It is true, we are so blessed to be given the chance to have a baby, but emotionally it is so much to deal with when our bodies change so rapidly.

I've always been on the curvy/chubby side so looking at it from a different angle. I hated the first half of pregnancy (from an image point of view) because I really did just look fatter than usual but when you grow an unmistakeable big round bump, it gets loads better, or at least it did for me. You start looking at your body entirely differently, because it's there for an actual purpose rather than to look a certain way. And I'm not at all religious but I can't help thinking its a miracle that there's a little baby growing inside of me, the thought of that kind of overrides any vanity I had previously. And for the first time in my life people would say how lovely my tummy looked! haha!

I went out and spent some money on a few maternity outfits that looked realy nice and eccentuated the bump (Pinterest is a good place for inspiration). I decided just to embrace it. One thing (for a chubbier girl) is that I would never have worn a tight fitting stretchy dress or tshirt before, but now it actually looks ok, for once my tummy is smooth (and round!! Haha) with no lumps or bumps :)

I'm hoping that once the baby is here I'll be too distracted to care about how I look for a few months and then after that make a concerted effort to tighten everything back up. The advantage you have is that you were slim prior to your pregancy so have a much better chance of being slim afterwards... Unlike me, who at best will just go back to being chubby again!!

That's an amazing view bellyrub :) I can't wait to have a massive round bump! I think when I actually look pregnant and can see proof of the baby growing bigger I be will be over the moon :)

I remember thinking I would NEVER get a proper bump, it just felt like it was taking forever and then one day it just popped out and suddenly I looked properly pregnant!

And then it gets mahoosive and you can hardly walk... But that's another story!! I've only just started feeling weighed down by my bump and Im due on Sunday.

Amazing! I absolutely can't wait to start showing

OP you sound like youve come a really long way and you should be proud of yourself. im fortunate that body image hasnt ever been a huge problem for me (because of my mindset not my body!!) but ive struggled with feeling so disconnected and frustrated by my body changing beyond my control and not able to do the things i would normally. one thing i would do differently (im 41 weeks so not much point now ) is to get a few nice maternity outfits including non lace up shoes! i borrowed most clothes out of necessity, but i found the feeling of being in a strangers body and other peoples clothes a bit much.

Hi
I hated the first trimester when I looked bloated and not necessarily pregnant. If I wore skinny jeans and cut on the bias fitted tops they covered it up to the degree that I looked normal. I usually wore a heel too. While there are a few people who inspect others for the odd pound or two weight gain, it's not hard to get to 12 weeks without people guessing. Can only recommend that you try on lots of your stuff before putting it away to see how it looks as it's hard to guess what's going to work on the hanger.

By mid second tri I was showing quite a lot, but it was all bump and I'd probably lost weight on my face and limbs. I'd put this down to eating really healthily - mainly avoiding white carbs and thinking about the nutritional content of what I was consuming. I ate good protein, veggies and salads and fruit, with the odd treat when I got really hungry. Like Bellyrub advises, at this point I switched to tight pregnancy clothes which can be very flattering. Have avoided flowing / empire line as that does make me feel lumpen. I also googled pics of pregnant celebrities with style like gwen Stefani and bought a pregnancy fashion book which helped me make the most of clothes and accessories I have already. I'm big now, but I still find some of my non-preg clothes work really well.

I have been surprised at how much I like my pregnant body. It's round, but it's smooth and tight. I might not feel like this towards the end, but then that will only be a few weeks in the scheme of things and then I'll be too busy to worry about it for a few months. When I'm repaired a bit, I intend to get back to a better, more toned shape than I was in when I conceived - a challenge but I don't see why not. Want to be fit for running around after two small children.

So don't despair at this early stage. There's fun to be had working with your temporary body shape - you might even find that you like it when it starts to show. And as the pregnancy progresses and you start to develop a relationship with the baby, you might find that you care an awful lot less of what others think anyway.

I've been confident about my figure, and I was worried that I'd feel even worse when I got pregnant, but its been the reverse. I feel much more body confident (coming up to 36 weeks) and I hope i'll feel the same after the baby has arrived.

Sorry that should have said that I have never been confident about my figure...

Thank you :) I really am looking forward to growing a bump :) I want a MASSIVE bump! It's just the inbetween stage that I hate, and plus DP and I are getting married in several weeks so I was trying hard to get back to my previous size for then! I think I'm feeling worse than I am because of nausea, feeling sluggish and icky never helped anyone feel good about themselves!

I felt so blurgh in the first trimester. Hormones do not help! I was all bloated and knackered and couldn't be bothered to look nice. It's a tough time-be kind to yourself!

I'm pretty chilled out about my body and I said to myself I refuse to feel bad about it just because society says I'm meant to. Your body is doing what it needs to do to make a baby and you deserve respect-both from yourself and others. Also, your baby will love you whatever you look like.

In the second trimester I feel less tired and I have a bump as opposed to a gut. I think I lost weight or it just evened out. I feel more interested in fashion and I look less exhausted so you may feel the same.

Good luck

I hate my figure just now.

I was never skinny (well not for many years) but was comfortable being a tall size 12 and was running regularly and horse riding every day.

I'm not approaching 34 weeks and feel like a beached whale - my maternity jeans are a size 16 - I can squeeze into the size 14 but they are quite snug.

My thighs and arms are huge - my ass is gianormous. I have developed stretch marks on my boobs, inner thighs and now hips.

I'd love to say I'm eating well but for the first 20 weeks all I could stomach was things like toast/bread - anything stodgy to keep the sickness at bay. I do drink lots of water/eat lots of fruit but since food is one of my only remaining pleasures I probably indulge a bit more than I would normally.

Can't wait until baby is born and then we can get out and about walking/running and I can get back into some sort of shape!

Hiya,
I'm 6wk with number two and have a history of anorexia. My first pregnancy was terrifying initially but i actually found that it helped me. I knew for a healthy baby i had to put on the required weight ( which dh reminded me daily was mostly baby/fluid/placenta etc) and was quite proud of my bump. I ate much better than usual ! I did feel a bit whale like at the end as i had lots of oedema but i think that is normal. My bmi was 19ish at the start of my first pregnancy and i gained 14kg by the time i had ds at 37wks. I was back at my prepreg weight within 6-8 weeks, not by doing anything specific but i was breastfeeding.
I would try and embrace the pregnancy and think of it as a temporary thing where you are doing something for the baby.
So far this time i am feeling a bit sick but eating small and regularly. I have a worry about first trimester weight gain, but i think thwt is inevitable and i have to ignore it as best as poss. Also you will probably have mroe eneergy etc in the second trimester thwt seems to make things feel better.
Good luck!

I am sorry you feel this way.

Maybe it will be better once the belly is properly showing.

I felt like a goddess of fertility once I and a proper belly, and wore figure hugging clothes to show off my curves. It must have been the hormones, LOL. I put on 4 stone, but fought i looked gorgeous (and who knows, maybe I did), and you know, the weight, all of it, came off all by itself, no diets needed, within a year of having the baby.

Having a baby is very slimming , IMO (I walked the pram for hours, all that breastfeeding, the weight flies off.)

Really hoep you can put these worries behind you and enjoy the pregnancy.

Focus on the baby, it's development week-by-week, it is very exciting.

I sympathise with the way you're feeling VintageCherry26. I found the 1st and 2nd trimesters tough because I didn't really look pregnant, and just felt chubby, and wasn't comfortable with the feeling that I'd 'lost control' over my eating due to cravings, and knowing that I couldn't cut back on eating because it would be bad for the baby. I usually eat well and healthily, but I do have control issues with eating (excessively so when I was younger).

However, like others have said, it's great when you're properly showing. I really like my bump, and even though I've got quite wobbly in the bum and thigh area, the bump puts it into proportion, so I'm ok with it now. It's quite a novelty having big boobs too.

I recommend getting some nice maternity clothes. I tried on a pair of my low-rise skinny jeans in my 2nd trimester thinking they might still be wearable and I had a hideous muffin top. But now I've got some really nice maternity clothes that fit well, and don't go near any of my old clothes, apart from the baggiest tops. Maybe that will help :)

pippinleaf I'm glad you're feeling a bit better, but I'm sorry that you're feeling guilty for having negative feelings. It's normal, and the whole 'count your blessings' thing is a load of crap - your feelings are legitimate, and just because you have some negative feelings, it doesn't mean you're not also happy and thankful for the things that are going well. Re: your husband not wanting to have sex, perhaps he's just a bit weirded out by the changes in your body, rather than feeling put off because there's something unattractive about how you look now. It's probably not a very reassuring comment, but what I mean is, he probably still finds you really attractive, it's just difficult for him to get his head round the changes. Maybe he just feels worried about prodding the baby during the act. Have you talked to him about it?