Thoughts on telling before the 12-week scan?

[Syd35]

First time round we kept it to ourselves until the first scan. This time DH doesn't want to tell anyone apart from our close family but I can't seem to stop telling people.

I was a little bit in denial as this pregnancy was unplanned and has come as a big surprise so not sure if it's my way of getting my head around it by talking about it.

Anyway just wondered if anyone else has let the secret out before the usual 12-week mark?

I told everyone I would want supporting me if I miscarried. Including my boss so she would be understanding with morning sickness etc.

I've spoken to friends and family about it both times pretty much as soon as I found out around 5 weeka and so did DP.

We've never done a big announcement though its just been dropped into the conversation

I told everyone at 9 weeks, then miscarried at 12 weeks a few days before my scan so along with the devastation of losing a baby it had taken 7 years to conceive, I had to deal with friends and relatives congratulating me on my pregnancy for weeks afterwards because they hadn't heard the latest news. It was pretty horrible for them too.

Next pregnancy I didn't tell anyone until after the first scan.

I told my close family and someone from HR at work before our scan. DH held off though till after the scan before even telling his parents.

It sounds a stupid, obvious thing to say but it totally depends on you. I have heard people say that they worry they will miscarry and have the pain of having to "untell" people like your very sad experience Mewling.

I have heard others say that their baby is a baby to them as soon as they find out they are expecting, and that it deserves to be acknowledged as such. It's such a personal choice but I certainly don't think you have to wait till after the scan.

"I told everyone I would want supporting me if I miscarried"

Yes, this!

I also told my boss, so that she might better understand my erratic behaviour

I have heard others say that their baby is a baby to them as soon as they find out they are expecting, and that it deserves to be acknowledged as such.

Sorry, just realised this might look like I think by not telling people, you are not acknowledging your baby. I definitely don't mean that - just that is one reason I have heard people cite for telling people early.

We told everyone at 6w, though to be fair it was unplanned and we thought it was 10w.

Next time I will still probably tell a lot of people - I think the argument that you want the people who would support you if you have a miscarriage is very sensible.

I also had to tell work very early and probably will next time to due to time off with being glued to a sick bowl.

We told our respective parents at 6 weeks, and I told work after I keeled over (I work in HR so really difficult to 'make up' excuses for appointments etc, would rather not lie) around the same time. I've told my two closest friends, but OH has told plenty of people! I've said I'm fine for him to do so on the caveat that whoever he tells, he must be okay telling them if anything does go wrong. We had the added complication of a planned abroad wedding, so we had to tell a few people out of necessity, which isn't a big deal

We won't be 'publicly' announcing for another 4-5 weeks until I've had my scan.

Told everyone after an early scan (private) at 8 weeks. Much easier to be able to talk about it. Still didn't feel officially pregnant till passing the 12 week mark. Told boss at 5 weeks for health and safety reasons.

Thanks all for sharing. Seems much easier for the man to keep it to himself, as others have said they don't go through the physical and emotional side quite like we do.

Feels quite nice sharing the news with a select few before we announce it properly.

I'm 10+4 and definitely showing now. I have only told my best friends and very close family plus boss.

People were looking at my tummy today and I almost blurted it out. I just can't bring myself to say anything at work til after the 12 week scan which is next Wednesday. Saturday will be awkward as it's a big meal and booze up with work so not sure what excuse I'm going to make up for driving yet.

I've (we've) told our parents, close friends, my sister, and I've told my manager at work. Like others, I've told the people I'd want support from if I miscarried.

It's so hard not to tell people though! My 12 week scan is two weeks today so fingers crossed I can tell people soon

I'm 7 weeks pregnant and haven't told anybody except my DH. If anything goes wrong I don't want anybody to know.

The first time I was adamant I didn't want people told until 12 weeks. This time my rule was that I'd tell everyone who I'd otherwise tell if we'd lost the baby. During the first pregnancy I assumed I'd want to keep it to myself if something happened, then realised that wouldn't be healthy for me and I was more open this time.

Although quite a few people guessed because I showed very bloody early...

With DS we told close family and friends quite early.

With 2nd pregnancy we didn't tell anyone and I had a miscarriage at 5 weeks. After that I told my best friend and my boss what had happened but I was glad not to have to 'untell' alot of people.

Just found out I'm pregnant again. I told my boss today because I would have to tell her if I miscarry again anyway but other than that were going to try and keep it quiet until the scan.

It really is each to their own though, it's each couples news to share as a when they see fit.

The first time round I told people at about 6 weeks, I was told I should as it will jinx it but imo telling people doesn't jinx anything.. This time round I've only told my best friend, my ex and son's nursery (she's a close friend) I'm not planning on telling others due to an ectopic in March.

I am almost 8 weeks and do far my DH and I have kept it secret from everyone other than my mum and brother. I am finding it quite difficult to keep it secret but do want to as I just don't want to tempt fate. Also whilst I am so excited it doesn't really feel real yet. Will feel better when I finally get to see a scan - just a month to go! Have to say that I am relieved that, all being well, I will be able to shares the news at the end of December before Xmas party season. I am finding the constant excuses for not drinking exhausting. I hang around with a boozy sociable crowd and I am running out of creative excuses!

We told our parents and siblings the day after we found out. I told my boss and 1 friend at work about 2 weeks later as they'd both been really supportive when we were ttc. Then a few more close friends from 9 weeks on, when we saw them.

Everyone else after the scan.

I really wanted to be able to talk about it with close family friends but definitely didn't want to go properly public til we'd had the scan

I'm eight weeks. We told a couple of our very closest friends, but haven't told our families yet. It's something I'd rather tell my mum in person and I won't see her for a couple of weeks yet. I found out today that my most 'significant' ex is expecting too (ug) so presumably they are due a month before me. That made me want to tell EVERYONE but I won't. Like others have said, I am only telling the people that I would tell if things went wrong. I had an ectopic earlier this year and although I know that isn't the case this time (six week scan all fine) I'm still trying to be cautious about it because I still can't quite believe it.

I saw two people on Facebook yesterday announce their pregnancy, one said 'still very early days' and the other girl put a due date that is two weeks after mine which would only make her 7 weeks. Mt first thought was 'No, no, no...' because I lost a baby at 11 weeks and luckily only had close family and friends know I was pregnant! Even the daily calls and texts from them were overwhelming. I couldn't imagive having to write that post on Facebook if, god forbid, anything went wrong.

So from personal experience I think you are fine telling close family and friends, but I would leave the OTT Facebook announcement til at least 12 weeks!!!

I'm only 9 weeks and there is no way I'm announcing it til 12 weeks as I am still anxious about the possibility of it all going wrong again x