HELP- struggling with first Trimester

[Awayfromhome1]

Hi, I am a new poster. I basically needed some help and advice. I am just over 8 weeks and although myself and my husband are thrilled I have felt awful the past few days. I have missed a couple of days off work due to feeling shivery, low and having a loss of appetite. The last few weeks I felt like I had loads of energy. This week I feel so down and depressed. I feel cold all the time and can barely get out of bed. I live in the Middle East so my family are in the UK. The only real support I have at the moment is from my husband. I haven't told anyone about the pregnancy as yet. Is it normal to feel so low. I feel so guilty for feeling like this and I'm so worried that if I'm like this I'm going to be an awful mother.

My doctor is away for 2 weeks so I went to see a GP yesterday do I could get a couple of days signed off work. She was very unsympathetic and asked me if I didn't want the baby and told me I shouldn't feel so tired already. I have an appointment with a gyny today so I'm hoping they will be more sympathetic.

Anyone else feel so bad so early on? The symptoms also seem similar to that of an urine infection. I am so so cold all the time even though it is over 30 degrees outside.

I just want to tell someone basically, I feel so alone.

Hi Awayfromhome - I am in my 8th week of pregnancy and just wanted to say that I am absolutely exhausted! So far I have been lucky in that I haven't really been nauseous but I am finding the tiredness all consuming. I literally go to work, struggle through the day and then collapse when I get home. I have a really busy job (and a horrifically busy week this week) so I am really worried how I am actually going to get through it. I also am alternating between feeling really hot and cold.

I can't believe that your doctor was so unsypathetic and asked whether or not you wanted the baby. That is bang out of order. From my reading up on early symptoms, extreme tiredness in particular can hit usually from 6 weeks and mostly will be at its peak at 8 weeks so I do not understand her comments.

Sorry you feel so alone, can you talk to your husband? Or otherwise confide in a trusted friend? It sound like you need support. I am very lucky that my husband is a gem and has been really supportive despite my general uselessness over the past couple of weeks.

Take care. Hopefully your symptoms will ease soon. For many the first trimester is often the trickiest.

Please don't feel alone, mumsnet has kept me sane when I too couldn't tell anyone.

Your gp was pretty rude. Its very normal to be exhausted in the first tri - you're busy growing all the important bits. Your immune system will be lower too (your body's way of stopping itself flushing baby away)

I'd go to your gyne, try get some bloods & urine test too. Please don't feel alone though! X

I am eight weeks and feel seriously miserable. It does seem to be pretty normal - I was worried about it (I have suffered with depression in the past and was concerned that I might be heading for full-on ante-natal depression) so I spoke to a friend who has just had a baby and she also felt completely appalling for much of the first trimester. I think it is a really big mental adjustment, particularly if it's your first time (it is mine), and it must be even more difficult with an unsympathetic GP and few people around you. I know there is a big thing about not telling people until after your 12-week scan but to be honest I have felt so bad that I wanted people to talk to about it and I have told quite a few of my more trustworthy and discreet friends. Is there anyone that you could talk to who has been pregnant themselves - even if it's on the phone back to the UK? Of course you may prefer not to, in which case you may find Mumsnet very helpful. I was very relieved to find that quite a lot of people feel very low as I thought (like you) that the fact that I wasn't skipping around singing and buying nursery furniture might mean that I was abnormal or wouldn't love the baby - it seems not! Try not to beat yourself up about feeling bad otherwise it becomes very circular.

Thank you so much for your replies. It really helps to know there are people in the same boat. I went to see a gyny today who signed me off work tomorrow and who was very understanding. I ended up telling a friend who is also pregnant and that was a massive relief.

I guess it's the guilt from missing work too but I'm an infants teacher and there's no way I'd have the energy to teach 30 kids . Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow but I hardly ever have time off so feel so bad taking 3 days.

My husband has been great bless him but I think he finds my emotional outbursts a bit overwhelming. I think I definitely need to share it with a few close female friends!

Again thanks for reaching out to me. It's the biggest relief to hear stories from other people who feel the same.

I just have to take each day as it comes I guess .. I hate not having a routine. No work, no gym, just lying on the sofa.. I just want to have a bit of energy!!

I also made a complaint about that GP .. Some of the doctors here are something else!

Sounds about right for 8 weeks. I was freezing cold & hiding under blanket in front of the TV at that point. For your first pg you generally are loads more tired than for other ones, your body is gearing up to do amazing things, unfortunately it leaves us feeling awful for a few months. It'll pass, I promise.

If you have a friend out there, think about telling them, especially if you'd tell them if it didn't work out anyway. The 12 week thing is a bit overrated IMHO. It's more important to have support from those who can offer it.

Oops, I missed your last bit. I'm glad you told a friend. Friends are important.

Away from home- that doctor was wrong! I was knackered in first trimester- bloody awful!

Thanks again all of you. Like you mrsm1983 I was worried that I was heading for prenatal depression because I have had instances of feeling low in the past. Having said that I am feeling a lot better today. I think I just needed some time to rest. Ive literally slept non stop for three days. My job is pretty full on, it really takes all your energy. Luckily work have been understanding. Hopefully I'll be back at work tomorrow. I'm still feeling a bit weak but have done bits and bobs around the house today which is more than the past 3 days.

I think because it's my first pregnancy I'm a bit worried about telling people. I'm so scared it's not real! It's weird I've told a couple of people now but it's not people I thought I would originally tell. My friends back home are a close knit group an Ive had instances where I've told one of them something and it's come out on a drunken night out etc. These are friends I've known for years and years too! It was a massive relief telling a couple of people out here , they seemed to know something was up. My friend who is pregant too said she felt exactly the same but her first trimester was during the holidays but she literally spent all day in bed. Most people seem to say the second trimester is better so I guess I need to just get through the next few weeks.

Glad to hear that you are feeling better and have had a better experience with your gyny. Good on you for complaining about the other doc!

That doctor sounds like an idiot. I'm 10 weeks and have had days where all I can do is curl up on the sofa and not move. I spent all of Saturday morning in tears because I felt so lousy and weak.

You're definitely doing the right thing in taking a couple of days off

The first trimester is really hard. I am 14 1/2 weeks now and only just getting more energy. Try to sleep when you can.

It'll get better, it will, but right now it can really feel like it's never going to end.

You poor thing! Can't believe your doctor was such a witch - it's perfectly normal to feel exhausted during the 1st trimester and in fact was one of the ways I knew I was pregnant! I spent most of it wrapped in a blanket and grouching about feeling cold - and I think I had a good time of it! If it helps, it does get better - I'm now 17 weeks and the tiredness has gone (most of the time, at any rate). Hope you feel better soon xx