Is it only me who worries about everything??

[kbaby]

Why do I seem to be over anxious about everything? anyone else I know who has been pregnant seems to have gone through their pregnancy with hardly a worry, yet I seem to worry about everything. Normally when not pregnant im a level headed person but since being pregnant I seem to be Mrs Neurotic.
So far Ive eaten blue cheese and am convinced that I have listeria. I also have a horrible habit of typing in things on search engines and reading too much, This now means that Ive scared myself silly that ive passed listeria to the baby and that its going to be stillborn or with some disability. I also have 3 cats and ive taken all the precautions of not cleaning the litter tray and wearing gloves when gardening, but again im not convinced that I havent caught anything. I just seem to be so stressed out over any little thing and keep seeing the worst in everything. Its really spoilt the pregnancy.
Sorry to go on a bit.
Anyone else feeling like this?

You are definately not alone! I am convinced I will miscarry and scare myself silly with stuff I read on the internet. I also wash my hands after doing everything (opening a door, taking shoes off etc) incase there is a minute speck of cat poo which might give me toxoplasmosis. It is driving dh nuts.

My DH has said that he will ban me from reading any pregnancy books or using the internet if I carry on as im also driving him nuts. I just cant wait to have the baby and check that everything is ok. Im so paranoid that somethings going to go wrong.

I can definitely relate to the reading too much on search engines! I've spent the last two days in floods of tears over this chickenpox worry!

I'd say, don't worry about it, we'll get through, but I'm not exactly practising what I preach...

I'd bet all my possessions on most pregnant women feeling like this - I know I did (and still do). They probably don't talk about it cos they're scared of seeming neurotic as well! How pregnant are you? For me the worst of it was in the first few months before all the tests etc when I looked up every conceivable (ha ha) problem and imagined that I had it (and yes listeria was on my I definitely have it list). I think the paranoia does die down slightly the nearer you get to delivery but I'm afraid it doesn't really ever stop even when they're born and growing up. It's a normal mum thing and means you care.

Kbaby, I am sorry - I posted on the May thread before reading this one. I didn't want you to think I was being flippant etc.

It is only natural to worry, I worry inside and then get worked up and teary about something that has completely nowt to do with bumps, births and babies. Poor old DP is left pretty flummoxed by some stuff, such as my sulking because I'm on maternity leave! I've been looking forward to it for ages too.

Try not to worry, if you are like me then little one is wriggling like the devil incarnate for now and it will only be a few short weeks before we are both wishing for our peaceful pre-baby lives and they are wriggling in their bouncers instead!

Take care sweetpea and keep posting.
xxxxxx

My worst one was that before I knew I was pg with dd2 I used fairly toxic chemical paint stripper, then spent the rest of the pregnancy worrying about what I might have done to her.

She was fine btw!

It just seems to be never ending. When I first found out I was pregnant I convinced myself I would miscarry. All my pregnancy symptoms stopped at 8 weeks which I took to be a sign of a missed miscarriage and made the doctor send me for a early scan (again too much internet searching)I was ok then up until about 21 weeks when it seemed to start again. Im now 34 weeks and its just as bad. I get myself into such a state about things that I end up crying my eyes out convinced that ive harmed the baby and something bad is going to happen. I keep thinking of the things ive done such as eating the cheese or even smoothing the cats has me worrying. My mum says its natural to worry, but surely not this much. Ive had slight flu symptoms this weekend which ive taken as a sign of listeria or toxoplasmosis and want the doctors to do a blood test. My DH thinks im bonkers but I just think it may put my mind at rest.

God reading that back I sound as if I should be locked up. I am normally normal (honest :0 )

I'm the same as you kbaby - current worries include the cord getting wrapped around baby's neck and strangling him, and me dieing of a massive post partum haemorrhage. I think neurosis often comes with the territory in pregnancy!

I agree with monkeygirl - paranoia doesn't go after baby arrives either. I didn't stop worrying about cot death until my dd was 1 year old

ive got the cot death covered. Ive bought a monitor that comes with a breathing pad to put under the baby which will sound a alarm if it doesnt detect breathing. Although im sure that wont stop me checking every 5 mins.
Ive also had the cord worry as I read that frequent hiccups could signal cord entaglement. Ive just managed to convince myself that im ok on that one and I am being silly.

It's normal. One thing I've discovered though is that a) you worry less with subsequent pregnancies/children (becuase by then you have discovered that children can and do survive iyswim) and b)doing everything "right" is no guarantee anyway. I was exceptionally careful during my pregnancy and pre-conception with ds1- much more so than ds2 (partly becuase I didn't know I was pregnant for a while with him, he wasn't planned so I hadn't been taking folic acid and partly becuase I went to France and misread labels, and partly because I was fed up!). Ds1 is the one with the problems, not ds2.

By the way if you want to reassure yourself about the cat- unless your cat is a kitten then the chances of it having active toxoplasomis are tiny and remote anyway.

It is worth trying to relax a bit (do you have any other pregnant friends- that does allow you to find out that the worry is completely normal) - if only becuase you worry more once they are born- sorry!

Everyone worries! I worried about all the more common problems, then I worried about the problems that affect 20 children in the whole world, then I made problems up - infact with DS1, I was quite worried that he would have 2 noses where his eyes should be and one big eye in the middle of his face. He didn't. Apparently, this would be very very very very rare.... Unheard of in fact.... My GP was more concerned about my mental stability come to think of it!
Lots of luck to you all, you and babies will, I'm sure, be fine

my god do you want a list?! (2nd pregnancy)
at 8 weeks i worried that the fact i had been out getting sloshed before i knew i was pg had harmed the baby.
Then i worried i would miscarry.
Then i worried the 20 week scan would reveal something dodgy.
Then i worried baby wasnt moving very much.
Then i worried baby would be prem and kept thinking "just get to 25 weeks".
Then "just get to 28 weeks".
Then "get past 33 weeks" (time when i had first one)
Then "oh god im overdue"
Then in labour "something might go wrong"

After the birth - everything!!

completely normal! BTW none of my fears came true! xx

yes it's just such a fabulously long list of worries to choose from isn't it? I pick a different paranoia every week. my favourite is also the old tangly cord, esp. because my baby is on the quiet side. But I do find it so reassuring to read through old postings on this site and see how often people's worries are needless in the end. Humans are so tough... and mumsnet such a security blanket!

I think part of it is that for the first time in our lives we are no longer completely in control and are completely at the mercy of "fate". In my "previous" life, if I was worried about something, then I would do something about it. In most pregnancy worries there's not a lot you can actually do - just wait.

and remember that the vast majority are FINE

Its just so difficult trying to convince myself that im being silly and have nothing to worry about. Im driving myself round the bend by thinking of things all the time and im becomming paranoid about making sure I wash my hands after everything. I read yesterday about the toxoplasma and some say that even having cats on the bed could pass it on. This set me off again. It seems I have too much time on my hands and the result of which is that I spend it worrying.

oh and the other thing is that people think because your pregnant they have a right to tell you all the horror stories. So far ive been told not to wear a seatbelt as this will break the babies neck if I stop suddenly, That a friends child minder was running for a bus and heard a click and the next day the baby had died of a broken neck!! and then the other one was that a friends friends baby was stillborn where she fell over. Why do people have to tell me these things. If someones relative wasnt well, I wouldnt turn around and say to them 'oh yes my so and so died of that' how unsensitive would I be but its apparently ok if your pregnant to be told these horror stories.
Anyway enough ranting now, god these pregnancy hormones must be getting to me now.
xx

Your friends' stories are all absolute rubbish, you know. Total urban myths without the slightest foundation in truth and I'd be very cross if people told me lies like that when I was pregnant. As you say, it's stupid and unkind. But PLEASE stop the internet searches. I know how scary it can be as I have to do it for work and have worked myself into a frenzy before now. It's a really bad habit. If you are worried about something, post on Mumsnet instead - it's much safer and much more reassuring. You are just making yourself miserable with all this Googling. BTW I actually had quite a severe problem in pregnancy - complete placenta praevia, but oddly enough it kind of stopped me worrying - I didn't worry very much about trivia and just got on with it. Ds was perfect, BTW.

kbaby- older cats rarely have toxoplasmosis anyway. Please stop worrying about that. I think aloha has a point. I worried about everything with ds1- watched ever morsal of food I put into my mouth, didn't sniff a glass of wine. In the end ds1 turned out autistic (something I HADN'T worried about) and like aloha I find that I don't really worry so much these days- what will be will be. I was much more blase about food/cats etc with ds2 and he is fine. Babies DO NOT break their necks inside the womb! Do you have other pregnant friends? They are a great way to share the worry. I found my antenatal group all worried about the same things - and it was good to be able to talk to each other (especially once the babies were born).

Have you joined the NCT? Their antenatal classes are a great way to meet people.

There is a leaflet published I got min efrom MW which shows correct way to wear seat belt- teh bely bit being undr bump adn across thieghs hope this helps you have one less worry - I worried about everthing

When I was pregnant with my eldest son (now 6) i had a craving for blue cheese dressing and i didnt realise i couldnt eat it until i was about 5 months !! (He is fine !) When i was pregnant i was so neurotic i ended up hardly doing anything. I once went to the doctor and asked what would happen to the baby if i accidentally fell down the stairs (I was worried as we had really steep stairs!! (It never happened)) When he was born i was a lot better because you can deal with any problems directly.

despite tequilla,blue cheese,peanuts(highly allergic in laws),lots of energetic dancing,suddan stopping while wearing a seatbelt, the tragic death of my mum(high stress obviously)a job that involved me standing for 8hrs a day until 37 wks,an overdue baby, a stupidly long labour,a meconium stained babe who scored very low APGAR at first and paranoia throughout my whole pg, i am now the mum of the most energetic 7mth ds. i'm sure i'll be just as worried next time!

Kbaby: If you have 3 cats and have done their litter tray for years, plus a habit of gardening, you probably got toxoplasmosis a long time ago (you can't catch it twice).
I thought worry and becoming a parent were synomymous!!

Ahem... I worked with ionising radiation, applied DEET insect repellent(misinformation given to me by chemist, DEET is a known cause of birth defects), ate raw cheeses, worked in soils without gloves (reckoned thatj growing up drinking raw milk and fishing cat poo out of sandboxes as a kid had probably given me toxoplasmosis years before), ate large quantities of tuna (mercury contamination), drank alcohol, applied benzoyl peroxide to my skin (another birth defect causer), took mefenamic acid (may lead to kidney defects) -=- the kids are still young, but so far, seem pretty healthy & happy!

kbaby you're not in london are you? sounds to me like a good old face to face would do some good, i think it really helps to alleviate the obsessing and the paranoia (can you tell i'm a bit of a worryer myself? ) i do feel for you, but echo the advice to stay away from the web for at least 30 mins a day! i was terrible with ds, better this time but not much

Hi madgirl, no im in Cardiff wouldve liked to have met up though. My mum says that with child 2 it will be different as ill be too busy to worry and hopefully shell be right. I dont think I could cope with all this worrying again. I think knowing too much has been my downfall. When I found out I was pregnant i bought all the books and started watching discovery health etc. But for some reason I didnt just read the bits of the book I needed to I read everything, including all the special deliveries and the 'what to do if it goes wrong' sections. This means I know about every type of complication going and the slightest tummy ache has me searching the book for what that could be a sign of. Also I think im homing in on all the bad stories, even reading magazines or watching tv I seem to notice articles and stuff to do with babies, whereas before I wouldnt have paid much attention. A friend says that she cant watch anything to do with childrens hospitals since having children as its too close to home. Ive had to ban Holby City as that was far too scary.
Bye