Feeling useless, guilty...depressed

[PBlaarth]

I'm 22 weeks, first time mum. I've just been prescribed Sertraline. I've already had 2 weeks off work and GP has signed me off for another 3 weeks. I feel so guilty about not being at work. Despite working for the NHS, my colleagues don't appear to be too sympathetic about this sort of thing and I feel like I'm letting everyone down and that I will get into trouble.

I feel guilty about taking meds during pregnancy, even though I've researched Sertraline and it is mostly reviewed as being safe. I feel bad that my DH has to put up with me in this way and doesn't get any time to himself due to me being at home all the time. (he's been a massive support and I couldn't survive without him)

I'm anxious about ever going back to work because I will have to face everyone. I'm so worried I'm going to be a terrible mum. I can't wait to meet my little one, I love him so much already, but I'm done with being pregnant. I feel like I'm failing at being pregnant, that I should be happy and enjoying it and grateful to be having a baby.

I guess that's enough self-pity for one post. Just needed to get it off my chest. I feel like such a terrible failure.
xx

Hi.

I real feel for you!! If it helps I am feeling the same. Have been off work for 8 weeks because I am so anxious. Going back tomorrow (feel really panicky about it). I am 26 weeks pregnant. I am crap at being pregnant and was the same with first (this is my second). I feel useless as well.

It does not mean that you will be a terrible mum!!! By not being at work you are putting your mental health and the wellbeing of your baby first which I think means you are already a good mum. I also am a public sector worker and it is hard seeing people around me coping well when I feel like I am breaking down (there is also limited sympathy). When the baby comes you prob won't even think about work ( I know I won't)

I hope you feel better soon xxx

I'm sorry you're having such a bad experience. It certainly does feel like your world is getting turned on its head when you are pregnant, but then you look around and everyone else just treats it like an everyday experience! I feel the same to a dgree, and I wish I had someone to talk to who is going through the same thing. My best friend, I suspect, is going to tell me off for getting myself pregnant, and even if she acts happy for me I know she will think I am crazy, so no support there. My mother is the only other person who I could talk to about this, but she has always had little confidence in my life skills and right now te last thing I need is a vote of no confidence.

My other half is over the moon, but as henhas wanted to be a dad for so long I think he is seeing this all through rose tinted glasses and the difficulty of being a parent to a baby is going to be harder than he thinks.

For me, it has helped to think less about what others think. At this stage, no one has had anything positive to say to me about having a baby other than my other half.

I feel for all of you. I'm 17+6 with my first and every day am grateful - and tell my boss how lucky he is - that I am healthy. Anyone who judges you had no empathy and you should try not to think about them! Good luck and wishing you a more relaxing rest of pregnancy!

Sorry ladies by 'healthy' I meant am coping with pregnancy, no sickness, tiredness or anything. I'm not suggesting you're not healthy just so grateful I'm ok ... For now (long may it continue) xx

Can your midwife or gp refer you to the peri-natal team or their specialist MH midwife for extra support?

thanks for all the replies. Although I hate to think of anyone else going through this, it is comforting to know you're not alone. It also made me realise that if I read this post from someone else, I wouldn't dream of calling someone a failure - I shouldn't be so hard on myself. DonnaLlyn is right too, I need to think less about what other people think. Even when I picked up my prescription, I started crying because the pharmacist was very pregnant and I felt so bad that I was taking tablets and 'she probably wasn't'....as if I would know what she was going through. I hate not being able to cope like others, but I need to put myself first I guess. Thanks for your support.(Silverstars - my GP told me to see my midwife earlier then planned 25 weeks, so I can discuss this with her then)
xxx

I know how you feel! Awareness of postnatal depression has increased a lot, but there isn't nearly as much awareness of depression in pregnancy. I'm 30 weeks and just broken with nausea and exhaustion, so my mood gets quite low at times. Have you had your iron levels checked? I'm anaemic and apparently anaemia affects mood

Hi, my midwife was able to refer me with my ds to the specialist team and the sooner the referral is in the sooner support can be done. hey can liaise with a consultant psych about medication even if you do not see one ( well I did not need to), have some extra sessions that are longer than usual midwife slots etc. I saw a MH midwife twice before birth which really helped - got a tour of hospital that people do not get here unless she does them etc and she saw me once post birth which reassured me. if under a peri natal team even more help available if needed.