Other than the obvious, what helped you to become pregnant?

[SueBridehead]

Have been ttc for just 4 months but the crushing disappointment as each month goes past ( and I get older...) is really difficult. Am just looking for any tips or suggestions to make me feel like I'm doing whatever possible I can.

Am taking folic acid, dtd every other day, starting reflexology next week and eating healthily and gluten free (have intolerance).

However my cycles are quite irregular (27-35 days) so think this could be an issue.

Any tips? xx

I don't know whether it was just coincidence, but I had some reflexology to deal with work stress. I had fertility issues anyway and the reflexologists (who didn't know) picked up on it during the treatment. I was gobsmacked.

And, yes, I got pregnant a few months later.

I stopped thinking about it 24:7. Tried to relax, stopped taking vitamins/folic acid etc, had sex when we wanted not when we thought we should, started drinking caffeine again.
Basically we stopped ttc, less than 4 weeks later I was pregnant, we had been trying for 6 months. It might be a coincidence, but it might be because I was more relaxed?

It probs doesn't help but I've a similar sorry to Ruth.... We stopped trying and decided to wait a bit, one night of 'oh well the chances are it probably won't happen' and then surprise!

I think the stress you put yourself under ttc is just crazy and your body can't work under that stress.

Good luck!

I did what Ruth10 did, stopped taking the folic acid had sex when we wanted stopped thinking about it, a month later I was pregnant, My time of the month was all over the place due to coming of the pill in the November so that didn't help.

Got my BFP in July :)

It took me six months with my first and like the others have said, I only conceived when I decided to have a break.

This time I've been trying for a year with no joy. This month I ordered preseed after hearing some good things. I'll let you know! It is crushing, I know. Every month is heartbreaking.

There's one thing all my conceptions had in common - I couldn't be bothered to get up afterwards and just went to sleep, whereas normally I have a post sex wee.

My first was pregnancy was the first and only time we got too carried away and didn't bother with contraception. It was the only time that month wed had sex due to DH injuring himself. It was bloody good sex too.

Second we weren't trying and were using condoms, there was no split condom and we were careful but again I'd just rolled over and gone to sleep afterwards. Again only had it once that month (first time since birth of DS).

Third we tried for 18 months before I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to try anymore, as age gap was going to be much bigger than I wanted. We stopped trying, had fun and a couple of times that month I just rolled over and went to sleep (which I hadn't done in previous 18months) and suddenly I was pregnant again.

I had gone off alcohol for lent when I fell pregnant. Maybe it was something to do with being off the booze (although that doesn't explain all the drunken nights which result in surprise babies ), just coincidence or perhaps divine intervention!

It is v stressful ttc and a few people have told me similar stories to some pps - ie they didn't conceive until they stopped trying. That's a lot easier said than done I think, but there does seem to be something in it.

It wasn't just about me.

We weren't actually trying to get me pregnant, but had a bet with each other that we couldn't have six months off booze (him), six months off sugar (me). We were also going skiing at Christmas, so were in the process of getting quite fit - I was going to the gym every day, he was going every other day. Lots of running. Both of us lost a bit of weight.

I had my coil out thinking it would take us 6 months, didn't keep track of anything in terms of when we had sex. Although it was over Christmas and New Year and for part of it we were on holiday, for part of it it was raining and crappy weather. We had quite a lot of sex, but not to any timetable.

I think it might have been a combination of the general healthiness going on, the amount of sex, obviously we weren't stressed by 'trying', but also possibly my body having a post contraceptive removal panic (Dr suggested this one, but I had a copper coil, so no hormones involved). I am 40, boyfriend 37.

sperm meets egg plan.Should come up if you google it.Good luck!

IVF!

Tried everything else - giving up alcohol, giving up smoking, eating organic food, evening promise capsules, supplements, opks, CBFM, SMEP, trying to relax and not think about it - you name it I tried it!

4 years, a team of fertility doctors, daily injections, some rather cringe worthy medical procedures and a embryologist babysitter

Sorry, couldn't resist .

In all seriousness when I first sought advice regarding TTC my cycles were 28-32 days and the doctors weren't concerned. They explained that ovulation and hormone levels can fluctuate from cycle to cycle so a few days either way isn't a huge concern as long as periods are happening in a regular pattern. Are you tracking ovulation? I know for some it's a stressor that is best avoided but it will not only help you to pin point your most fertile days but will also help you get a better idea of when your ovulating and when to expect AF.

They do say that 'normal healthy couples' take anywhere up to 12 months (depending on age, you didn't mention it) to conceive so I don't think you need to panic just yet. Although I do know the crushing monthly disappointment so I do sympathise.

If you are worried about your cycles I know you can have TTC check-ups with the GP to discuss conception and any concerns, it might be useful if you'd like to discuss things like your cycle in a little more length?

We sought medical advice after 12 months as we were under 35, but I believe (at least in my area) that it's recommended to see your GP after 6 months if you're 35 or over.

Good luck!

IVF too! I tried everything - you name it, I ate it. I took the Zita West supplements, spirulina, blue-green algae, baobab powder, royal jelly, vit D, chia seeds, flax seeds, drank smoothies til I started to think I was actually a blueberry...zilch. Tried acupuncture, cutting back on booze and coffee, eating bags and bags of kale and spinach... Nothing seemed to work, although I had a couple of months where I think I was pregnant and lost it really early. We ended up having IVF, which worked first time. I think all the supplements etc did their job to a degree, though, as the embryologist said that my eggs were super-high quality, and the embryos were a standard they don't often see, putting me in the bracket of a 23-25 yr old (I'm 38!) So I don't think it was effort wasted, and I'm now 15 wks pregnant. Good luck, and enjoy all the sex! X

Without getting graphic, a pillow under the bum, and making sure I 'Achieved' after Mr Tee had finished I think really helped. normally I'd climax first, but if you can hold off until your DH has deposited the troops, your own orgasm should suck them up towards the right places.
I can pretty much pinpoint the morning this worked for us - I'm 6 weeks and we had been trying since Feb, - would also echo the 'giving it a rest' comments above - we said we weren't going to actively try after August and we'd plan for our wedding instead. Whoops. :)

I got pregnant 1st cycle trying (aged almost 30). I have very irregular periods (vary from 27 to 40 days and I bleed for 11 days sometimes with very bad pain). I wasn't on any hormonal birth control for over a year before we decided to start trying (using condoms). I took folic acid for a few months before, got partner to take a Wellman Conception vitamins for a while before, cut down on alcohol, don't smoke and I'm a healthy weight (but don't have a super healthy diet).

I'm not sure in retrospect if this was all overkill but I tracked my temperature and did ovulation tests (mostly to check I was ovulating) and the day I think I ovulated we DTD twice (morning and evening), I also stayed in bed lying down for 15 minutes after sex so the sperm would have more chance (that is not based on any science and may well have been a waste of time!). I am glad I tracked my cycle as all the sex got too much and not fun anymore and if we had been trying a few months I think it would have suited us better to just have sex in the few days around ovulation not all month. I've heard that for men with an average or above sperm count then having sex once a day around ovulation is fine it is men with a below average sperm count who must not do it more than once every other day.

I think that for a healthy couple where the woman is under 35 the chances of conception each month are only 25% so I wouldn't worry just yet, it's more time to save a bit of cash and have some fun (I so want to ski, trampoline, eat rare steak and all the things I shouldn't right now!). Most people I know took between 6 and 12 months to get pregnant.

I came off the pill June last year and started folic acid. Started ttc in December and used opks to pinpoint fertile window. Not a lot of DTD that month as I had terrible flu for 2 weeks, but we got lucky and conceived. As I'd been ill I'd had almost no alcohol and caffeine for a month. No idea if that helped, but we'd had 2 weeks off work so were relaxed, if nothing else! Sadly that pregnancy ended in MMC.

We started trying again in April after first period post-MMC. I was back on folic acid. I drank more than usual to drown sorrows after the MMC though still only a moderate amount and only a couple of times or so a week. Stuck to one caffeinated drink a day, which is my usual. Got back to a healthy diet after the carb-fest of early pregnancy and lost the weight I'd put on. Had two holidays so should have been super-relaxed but actually had a huge amount of work stress as well as MMC-related grief. I was desperate to conceive but just couldn't, despite using opks, tracking my temperature to confirm ovulation, using Preseed and following SMEP. I was on the floor in tears every time AF turned up and was convinced I'd never conceive again. Cycles have always been regular since coming off the pill and stayed that way after MMC, but they changed in other ways after the loss (much lighter and shorter). I became convinced I had a hormone imbalance but GP signed me off work for stress and refused any fertility investigatons until I'd been trying for at least another six months.

I finally by July got to the point where work stress greatly reduced and I stopped feeling so desperate to be preg again by my due date (September). I just accepted it wasn't going to happen by then. I went back to doing yoga and started basic mindfulness practice, both of which reduced my overall stress and anxiety levels. I kept up all the ttc stuff, took a conception vitamin, but generally calmed the fuck down. DH kept up his moderate alcohol and massive caffeine consumption (much to my annoyance), though I confess that I did spike his coffee at home with decaff

We managed to conceive in late July! I couldn't believe it. That cycle I had 'self-medicated' with various vitamins and other stuff to help boost my uterus lining, as I had convinced myself this was a problem, especially as I had a short-ish luteal phase. But, really, in one cycle I doubt that made much difference, and even if it did, I probably didn't have a problem anyway.

The point of this essay is that for all of the somewhat obsessive stuff that I did, my gut feeling is that what made any real difference was reducing stress, learning to relax a little bit and putting less pressure on myself to conceive NOW. All of this helped me have a more positive attitude and gain a bit of perspective.

Ultimately DH and I are lucky in that we don't seem to have any underlying fertility issues and age is still more or less on our side (I'm 33, he's 30). As others have said, it can take up to a year in those circumstances, so anything you and your DP can do to find what works for you without adding undue stress, go for it and try to reassure yourself that one way or another it will happen for you, even if it takes longer than you had hoped. And if you do have health concerns, don't be afraid to speak to your GP, even if it's just for reassurance. Good luck OP

Thanks for all the comments so far guys, it's really really helpful!

I have a stressful job (teacher) so the relaxation thing is definitely something I'll work on. Also going to look up the smep.

I think I was just naive because I thought as I'm youngish, healthy and have never taken any type of hormonal contraception it might happen quickly... Feeling very down after AF this morning :(

AF arriving is always the shittest time

The things that need to all come together for a pregnancy to happen are notng short of a miracle which is why they say up to 12 months. I know 4 months feels like a lifetime to you but try not to make a chore of it already, try the simple things like relaxing and enjoying the sex I was a teacher who we first started TTC too, so know it's easier said than done.

like someone earlier posted... we would make sure I climaxed after DH did and then shoved a pillow under my bum to help the swimmers along. Good luck!

Took us 9 cycles, miscarried at 12 weeks, then 4 cycles, miscarried at 6 weeks. I was a teacher in an under-performing secondary school and the stress was having a serious impact on my mental health, despite being signed off and attending counselling and CBT.

Eventually, I decided to resign. I immediately felt like a huge weight was lifted. Two weeks later, twenty cycles since my last miscarriage and one month away from our first appointment at the fertility clinic, I found out I was pregnant. Now 24 weeks.

I'm not one for hippy-dippy claptrap, yoga, meditation etc. but I really think stress played a huge part in our struggle to conceive. I also know how utterly infuriating it is when people tell you to "just relax and it will happen", so there's no way I'd say that to you, but do have a think about the sources of stress in your life and how you can minimise them.

Good luck!

My top tip.. Smear test.

My practice nurse recommended I have my smear a few months early as we were ttc. I booked in for just before I would be ovulating. Boom. Ds was the result.

I discussed it with her a year or so later and she told me that she had no hard medical evidence but, she has recommended having a smear to a number of women mid cycle with good success.

So three years later when ttc again, I had another smear test. Boom again. Result was DD.

I'm not suggesting having smear tests willy nilly but if you are due one any way, plan it for your mid cycle to help open the cervix.

I am now very careful after having smears as baby no3 would not be in the plans!

Gosh Finola now you come to mention it,that's exactly what happened when I conceived DS. Maybe I should book a test!

Dunno if it's helpful information but we used a special lube when ttc, we had to use lube anyway but after I read lube isn't good for sperm I looked up one that claims to be helpful for those ttc, dunno how true that is but it worked for us! Altho we don't have any other underlying fertility problems, I just didn't wana be slowed down by sperm hating lube! It's called preseed jus incase your curious

Try pre seed and soy isoflavones .

Okay thanks, I'll try preseed and maybe the smear! What's soy inflavones?

Btw I'm 31 for those who asked..

Same thing most other people have said - we were pretty relaxed about it that month, no folic acid, sex when we felt like it, etc. Also definitely thinks it helps to make sure you finish after and no post-sex wee. I don't actually think position matters but we may have been doggy that day good luck!