Feeling fat and it's making me cry daily

[Cullercoats88]

I'm generally loving pregnancy, had very little bother, no sickness, only a little tiredness in first trimester, and now I'm in the 24week, bump is really showing.

About two weeks ago a work colleague told me how huge I was (I didn't think so at that point) so since then it's been playing on my mind.

I'm 5ft11 and weigh 12stone7, I was 11stone prior to being pregnant. Is that too much weight gain ?

I was at a birthday lunch today, my MIL took a picture of me and I look horrendous. My cheeks are huge, I just look so unattractive, I hate it. I'm literally crying as I type this.

I don't want this to affect my so far great pregnancy, but everyday for past 10 or so days I have just cried at my appearance, and to see a photo on the Internet was just the icing on the cake

Hey Huni. There's not much I can say to help you at all, but I feel exactly the same as you. I'm 21wks preg with my 5th bubby and I'm always unlucky to gain loads of weight, my 4th baby I gained about 4st, 6wks after birthing her I went to Slimming world n I weighed in at 14st 12lb!! The heaviest I've ever been, I struggled to lose weight, 16mths later I fell preggy with this one and I weighed 13st 11lb!! God knows how heavy I am now. :(

But just know your not alone, and I bet you look beautiful. Me......I feel like an ugly troll! :(

You're supposed to gain weight during pregnancy, it's how you make a healthy baby.

I read a very interesting article about the obsession with weight gain during pregnancy in the 1970s in the US (they used to give women diuretics to keep their weight down ) and not gaining what your body needs (which is different for different women) is thought to cause pregnancy side effects as well as cause issues for the baby.

As long as you're eating healthy food, and eating to appetite (ie not comfort eating and stuffing your face with cake) it will all come off again. I gained nearly 4 stone when I was pregnant and it's mostly all gone now DD is 9 months old. My midwife said normal is 1-3 stone gain, it varies a lot.

Sympathies!
I'm 20 weeks and weighed more than you to start with (about 11 1/2 stone) haven't weighed myself again. I've gone up a couple of cup sizes and have for some reason grown podgy bits on my hips, as well as the growing bump.

I'm a teacher and filmed circle time with my nursery class so I could record all their ideas. It was fine until a bit where I lean forward for something and you see my body!!! My t-shirt was hanging forward and the side flabby bits were really showing! No one's said anything but I'm now feeling rather fat. When I've said to folk they've said I'll lose it afterwards.

Oh and on a more positive note -I've been reading a book called Expecting Better which has statistics based advice. On the topic of weight gain it seems that the worst outcome is to not put on enough weight -that can lead to problems for baby and complications. Excess weight gain does have a minor impact e.g. on birth weight and losing weight after birth but not too bad.

I just can't look at myself, prior to falling pregnant I lost about two stone, and I knew I would probably put that back on, but to actually see myself, and then to have awful photo put on net, I feel disillusioned, in my mind I looked so much better than I do in real life and as opposed to feeling pregnant and healthy, I feel fat and seriously ugly! I also feel like a stupid child all the same time...it's not nice.

OP, I'm so sorry you feel so upset. I bet you look lovely, we're all capable of having bad photo's so don't let that upset you too much. Concentrate on getting the healthiest balance of food for you and your baby and you won't go too far wrong, it's never too late to start eating the right things. Also there's loads you can do to keep active and exercise during pregnancy. My midwife recommended about 2 1/2 hrs of walking a week and pregnancy yoga or aqua natal classes can be great low impact exercise too.

You're supposed to gain weight during pregnancy, it's how you make a healthy baby.

This. Not in a glib way, just - every pound you put on is good. Try and focus on this, if you can.

Also, a lot of it can be water retention. I have a round face anyway, I didn't put that much weight on when pg (sickness) but my face still got bigger through water retention.

Agree with other posters though that it might help to look at what you are eating and what exercise you are doing - I am sure it is absolutely fine but if you can try and look at it rationally, maybe get people on here to look at it too, you might be able to reassure yourself that you're not getting 'fat', you're not eating more calories or doing little exercise, all that you are gaining is baby weight?

Culler I mean this in the nicest possible way - it's not about you, it's about your baby. Your body is making a new person, let it do what it needs to do.

Worrying about it isn't helping either of you so try to rise above the shallow appearance obsession that society inflicts on women.

No advice but I hate to admit I'm struggling with coming to terms with my new body too. Just like you this was made worse by seeing photos of me at a friends birthday party last week!

I know weight gain in pregnancy is healthy and unavoidable and I wouldnt change this for the world, but it's definitely a struggle for me learning to love my new hips, thighs and arse!

Not at all offended- now I have calmed down a bit I can think about it a bit more rationally.

I am eating well, and I have a fairly physical job so feel confident that I am getting a good amount of exercise.

I think I was just shocked to see what I look like to others!!!

My slight meltdown has been helpful in that I have dug out healthy recipes and have brought some nice new maternity clothes to cheer myself up.

It will take some more adjustment though!!

Ignore any comments about how you look. People seem to think that the fact that the other person is pregnant gives them the right to comment on their body. What rubbish. People have no concept of how big or small a pregnant woman is anyway - I had both comments in two days once!

Actually at your current weight and height you wouldn't be classed as overweight even if you weren't pregnant. I'm sure you look much better than you think, the camera does freeze people in odd positions! It is just a change from what you are used to. Someone's living in there! Don't let this spoil things for you, if your pregnancy has been great in other ways go on enjoying it...this is a unique experience whereas the odd unflattering photo is nothing to give a second thought to.

Thanks all- temporary username that's exactly what my OH said pretty much.

Feel a little like a stroppy teenager now, but determined to be healthy so that's positive at least!!

Just had a moment of self doubt, but thanks for support!!

I struggle with this too, much more in my first pregnancy that I am this time though.

I'm 30 weeks now and look really pregnant. I find what you wear makes a huge difference though. The days where I wear leggings and floaty tunic tops I feel very fat and unattractive but the days where I wear things that are my usual style, more fitted but maternity obviously, I feel good.

Not sure if investing in a few really nice clothes would make you feel better?

Glad you are feeling better about this. Like you I am a bit chubby in the chops right now and rather rounder than I would like. But as others have said this is a normal part of pregnancy and is good for the baby. Are you going to breastfeed? Apparently the fat stored in the thighs and bum area is a prime breastfeeding resource. Breastfeeding uses up large amounts of calories so your body is just storing what it needs to nourish baby.

Yes I do plan to breast feed!!

I sound so silly now, so thanks for all being understanding and patient.

I knew of course you would gain weight when pregnant, I was just shocked to see how I look to others, especially after having recently lost 2stone, it wasn't nice to see a photo that resembled the "old" me!

I'm off clothes shopping this afternoon and hubby has already been with me to buy loads of lovely fresh fruit and veg. I don't think I was over eating before but this shock has helped me focus on looking after myself a bit more!!

I know exactly what you mean, it's hard suddenly putting weight on when you're used to being a certain size, especially if you've worked hard to lose weight before becoming pregnant. But it's all about perception really and there is nothing to worry about in your case health wise. I'm aware that I'm putting on weight but I love being pregnant so much that I can overlook it for now! I'm just planning on working hard after the birth to try to lose some of it. I just think it's so sad as women that we can't enjoy our pregnancies and weight gain because we're so paranoid about what we look like. You're doing the most amazing thing a human body can do at the moment, growing a beautiful baby, so just try to relax and enjoy it while it lasts. And don't focus on the bad photos, we've all got them!!