Waiting to see someone - is this normal?

[lumberjane]

Hi everyone, sorry if this is a bit of a rant, I'm just feeling so frustrated!

Last week I found out that I'm finally pregnant after over a year of TTC. I've been to my doctor plenty of times while we've been trying, and was even tested for PCOS recently, but around here you have to wait about 3 weeks to see a doctor about anything.

Anyway everything that I've read and heard told me that the first thing to do after getting that bfp was to talk to my doctor, but it was a Saturday when I tested so I had to wait until Monday before the doctor's was open! When I did I spoke to the receptionist at my local surgery I said I needed to see someone to take a pregnancy test. The receptionist's response was 'Have you taken one from a chemist? In which case you don't need to see anyone here, we'd only do the same thing.' She was really rude and talked to me like I was wasting her time. When I asked her who I should talk to she put me on hold and then came back to me with the number of a midwife. I had never heard of this before but apparently in Shropshire everything to do with pregnancy, from the first appointment, is dealt with by midwives.

So of course I called the midwife and spoke to another receptionist. This one wasn't quite so rude and took my details. She told me my local centre would call within a day or two to book an appointment. Well nobody called, and it was 4 days later when I got a letter to say my first appointment would be at 10 weeks. I know it shouldn't bother me as much as it does but the letter was also really badly spelled which made it look really unprofessional.

So I'm now 6 and a half weeks pregnant and I haven't been able to speak to a single medical professional about it, and I won't be able to speak to anyone for over a month. No one has even confirmed that I am pregnant, no one's given my any advice for the first trimester, no one has even checked that I'm not doing anything to endanger the baby. Is this normal? I feel completely unsupported, and it's making me worry about my care for the rest of the pregnancy.

Similar story here. I informed my gp I was pregnant as it was an ivf pregnancy. They said congrats. That was it. I had to call the central booking system and get my booking appt with the midwive - I had that appt at 10 weeks.

I understand frustration at spelling and general lack of helpfulness. Same here. It's the same in most places I think. There is a major birth increase and the nhs just hasn't got the staff and resources to give us all a perfect service.

Take comfort in that if you do become ill, ie severe morning sickness, fainting etc you can still call your gp for treatment, you will get transferred to midwife care once you are booked in.

Most important thing is to make sure you get all your appointments and scans on time, run through this at your booking appt.

Good luck, and don't expect this to be the last time you are frustrated with the nhs during pregnacy!

Don’t worry, this is completely normal – annoying though it is!

Different NHS trusts do different things but when I was pregnant I called my GP (as that is what they tell you to do) and they made me an appt to see her. She just asked me the date of my last period, told me what she thought my due date would be, said congrats and referred me to the mid-wife team. I know some trusts just send you direct to the mid-wife team.

I then got a letter a few weeks later giving me a date/time for my booking in appointment, which happens at about 10 weeks. It is there that they do all the blood/urine tests. Nobody ever actually makes you provide pee to prove you are pregnant!

After booking in you then get an appt for your 12 week scan.

its pretty normal to only have a midwife apt around 10 weeks - its called the Booking Appointment when you basically get booked into the system, and they schedule your first scan etc.

I went to the GP around 6weeks not to get a pregnancy test, but to get referred to my local hospital to get my booking appointment etc. If you've already made contact with a midwife, you probably don't need to see your GP at this point.

I had IVF pregnancies so I knew I was pregnant from day one. Lots of women who haven't been TTC may not even know they're pregnant for weeks, so its not uncommon for the first contact they have with midwives/doctors is a lot later on so don't worry about that.

There must be lots of info on the NHS website about what the process is, but rest assured that once you're in the system there is plenty of support :)

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/antenatal-midwife-care-pregnant.aspx#close

Meant to say, congratulations!

I think you'll need to get used to the fact that sometimes these things are a bit rushed/annoying due to the time pressure of the NHS. I had no choice as to when my scans were for example, you just have to fall in line!

Just use Mumsnet for advice for the first trimester!

Just take folic acid if you're not already. Also check out the NHS pages for pregnancy / banned foods list etc. Don't forget we're here for you too if you have questions. Congratulations!!!!

Completely normal, all my gp did was day congratulations and refer me to a midwife. What other support, medical advice did you want at this stage? Congratulations!

Thanks Jackiebramles!
I guess I've just found it a bit of a culture shock. When TTC the doctors and nurses have been really supportive of me, and now it's all finally happening and nobody wants to know! I also found it upsetting that the first person to hear 'I'm pregnant' after my dh was so rude and dismissive about it. I know it's nothing to her but it's huge to me!

Ah don't worry, its just GP receptionists - they tend to be brusque!

The midwife at my booking in appointment was SO lovely, and she wasn't even my 'actual' midwife (I'm in London so v busy area!).

I think the appts I had in early pregnancy were:
10 week booking in appt - weighed, bloods and pee taken, family history, general chit chat
12 week scan at hospital, plus pee and more bloods taken
16 week midwife (think you hear the heartbeat on a doppler then, plus pee test)
20 week anomoly scan, plus pee test).

Cant remember after that.

Get used to having to pee for every appointment though, you can't have an appointment without them asking for your pee!!

Completely normal - the first trimester is all about sitting it out and there's no need for any medical professionals to get involved unless problems arise eg bleeding. Presumably as you've been TTC for a year, you'll know all the advice - folic acid, no drinking, no smoking, etc.

Of course they were supportive with you when TTC because they are there to solve problems - now you are pregnant, there's nothing for them to do!

Congratulations

This is my experience too -24 weeks have not seen my gp at all. As others have said, the nhs website will tell you what you want to know and this forum helps with any specific questions you have.
You can always have a private scan at about 6/7 weeks where you an see the baby (or babies!) and hear the heartbeat. Costs £50-100 depending on where you are in the country. I have the cutest picture from mine.
Congratulations.

Thanks TondelayoSchwarzkopf, yes I'm already following all the advice. I was surprised that no one checked on that though, especially when speaking to a midwife rather than a GP. I know there are lots of people who smoke, drink take drugs etc during pregnancy, is it only at 10/12 weeks that anyone asks?

Yes OP it is a bit daft, isn't it? There is no point in being given certain advice at 10 weeks is there? It's too bloody late.

By the time I had my booking appt with DC1 I had been admitted to hospital twice with HG, had become anaemic due to lack of vit b12 as a result of sickness and had a scan for unexplained bleeding. I believe my HG could have been managed at home with meds had I been given some basic information when I saw my GP at 4 weeks

My trust has now changed procedures and they aim to see you by 8 weeks which I think is a good balance.

Congratulations! :)

It probably won't help for me to tell you that having gone to my gp at 8 weeks, I didn't get my MW booking in appointment until 15 weeks!

Admittedly not my first, but still pretty poor.

The booking in appointment is very indepth and you can ask anything you need to. You should come out of it feeling cared for and knowledgeable :)

I'm sorry the receptionist was so dismissive, it's hard when you're so excited about something to have someone treat it as humdrum. People do get pregnant all the time, women give birth every day etc etc, but that doesn't mean that this isn't enormously important and exciting for you :o

Take folic acid, don't eat things you shouldn't, and look forward to having your baby.

this is normal here in west london with all my pregnancys i never got seen till about 8-10 weeks booking appointment i was never asked to do a test with them to prove i was pregnant its all okay op :)

Totally normal. I had to argue with the receptionist to see a gp when I got pregnant because I needed to discuss medications I was on and safety of them in pregnancy and how best to stop them.

But a gp will not confirm a pregnancy in England, these days the tests you buy in poundland are as accurate, so they refuse to do it. Also lots of waiting is normal but you can see your gp or seek advise from your local early pregnancy unit (will be at local hospital with consultant led maternity care), if you have any problems.

Congratulations! Sorry to hear you are not getting the care and attention you need. Unfortunately I had a very similar experience during my first pregnancy. I am pregnant again and things are very different this time. I am luck enough to be looked after by a one to one midwife. I am seeing the same person at every appointment, she comes to my house and I fully trust her. She has the time to answer all my questions and appointments don't feel rushed.
Totally worth checking if the service is available in your area (if it is, then it is free through the nhs). Here us a link to their website www.onetoonemidwives.org/faq

Congratulations!
Yes it is normal but it's such an anticlimax isn't it! I didn't see the midwife until 15 weeks this time around as they were so busy.
I also think it's pretty stupid not having a quick appointment when you first get pregnant. People like us may be pretty happy to read online advice, and quite clued up on what to do in the first trimester, but I think a lot of women out there would really benefit from being given the advice.

I know there are lots of people who smoke, drink take drugs etc during pregnancy, is it only at 10/12 weeks that anyone asks?

What are the midwives going to do? Call the police if they say yes?

I get what you mean, but official NHS / DOH pregnancy advice is widely available, both online and through leaflets, books etc. Is it really a good use of a GP's time saying 'well done dear, remember not to smoke and take drugs for the next 9 months' - I'd rather that appointment be better put to use.

Sorry that sounded a bit harsh. It wasn't meant to.

It is a bit of a shock realising that you are going to bring a human being into the world and 99.9999% of the time no-one is going to be around to make sure you are doing it properly!

First of all, huge congrats!!!

Yes, all sounds pretty normal OP! You might find that when you do see the MW, that it's a bit of an anticlimax anyway - just blood tests and medical history etc. IME, unless you are considered a high-risk, you won't actually see a doctor at all in pregnancy.

Luckily most women don't need to be checked on or told that drinking to excess, smoking and taking drugs in pregnancy is not a good idea! Also, lots of women don't even find out they are pregnant until they are quite far along which means they could end up doing all the wrong things without even knowing. I don't think it's really feasible or necessary for the NHS to monitor the habits of pregnant women.

That said I do agree with Gail and think some women might like more advice at the start of pregnancy. I don't think everyone should necessarily have to see the GP but wonder why an info pack couldn't be sent out by the MWs a bit earlier?

Congratulation, yes totally normal. You don't see gp in pregnancy you are referred to midwives.

Do you think you are doing anything to endanger the baby? If so then ask for an earlier point net or if there are health complications eg diabetes.

Otherwise relax and enjoy your pregnancy!

Op, I finally got pg after years of Ivf and it was a bit of a culture shock after the medical interventions and hand holding of Ivf to find the nhs ante natal system was quite hands off, and the walls were peeling and nobody made me a latte....you get the picture. You soon get used to it. I was having twins so did have consultant care but generally you do just get on with it.