Complain about mw?

[zia11]

Hiya
Is there any complaints procedure with midwives? I've just had my 24 week home appointment and she made me so upset and I'm feeling like I don't even want a mw anymore. I had a lovely mw but I had to switch gps and met my new one today.

What happened is she came in and the key for the front door was upstairs so I ran up stairs literally taking under a minute to get the key to let her in and she looked really annoyed. We sat down and I was nervous I suffer from anxiety and The appointment was just me there so I was a bit nervous and didn't know what to say expect or do. She then asked for a cup of tea and said in a sort of sarcastic jokey way that "usually they offer me them" we then did everything as normal. She asked me if I worked and I said no I'm at university though and she basically laughed at me saying I may as well take this year off as pretty soon il be too big to go and I won't be able to go after the baby. She then criticised the fact I'm studying law calling it a "pointless degree" all this seemed kinda jokey but it was tense. Anyway I mentioned to her my feelings of adoption which I'm currently considering due to mental health financial and relationship factors. She seemed really annoyed at this and instead of talking it through or referring me to someone she just said "you say you can't financially support a baby yet you can afford that big car" I have an old style range rover which is parked on the drive. I didn't say anything after and she kinda just said if I wanted adoption to contact the government. I'm really annoyed. I don't know why she had to act like this and make me feel this bad about myself. I have a nice car yes but I was given the car by my dad when he got a new car and I've worked part time ever since 16 with all my wages going on insurance and petrol because that's how I like to spend my money. Obviously i would give up my car in a heartbeat for the baby but financial issues is not the biggest reason. Is there a procedure and will I be ignored? I really just feel like cancelling all my appointments and doing it alone that's how bad she's made me feel

Oh OP. I think the first port of call is the surgery manager.

As for your options for adoption I think that your family services team at your local council should be able to support you.

Good luck.

Horrible horrible midwife. Complain to the surgery definitely. It really irritates me when people in healthcare act like this. She judged you and that is unacceptable.

As for adoption, this is you decision. You know what you are capable off, financially, mentally etc

She said some terribly unprofessional and insensitive things and made comments on things that really aren't her business. She sounded extremely rude asking for a cup of tea and commenting on your choice of degree.

I would definitely complain to the supervisor of midwives or the practice manager at the surgery. She had no right to make you feel like this and needs talking to by her superiors.

Oh Wow, she seems a horrible cow! I really would've told her to leave to my home, how dare she be so judgemental!? I'm sorry you've had such a crappy experience. Their should be a senior MW you can contact? Please do let us know how you get on with changing ur MW, somebody else on here had a really crappy one the other day as well. Good luck

Poor you op She sounds dreadful

It's not her job to guilt you out of decisions merely to check the health of you and your baby and perhaps point you in the direction of agencies who can help you. Definitely complain.

I hope you still feel able to consider all the options and make the choice that's right for you. Whatever that may be.

Complain to PALS, the midwifery team, the supervisor of midwives in your area, and do it in writing, just write a letter saying what you posted here. Her behaviour was terrible, rude and unprofessional! You can refuse to have her caring for you ever again too.

You should make a complaint in writing and set out her actions and how this made you feel. If you feel that your complaint is not being taken seriously you can always raise your concerns directly with the Nursing and Midwifery Council with regards to her professional practice (or rather lack of it).

Did you tell her you were going to find key OP, or just leave her there? If the latter, it might have seemed a bit rude. And you're not obliged to offer somebody a drink but it is basic human hospitality the world over.
You say that she was kind of jokey about the degree which sounds right, don't think anyone thinks law is pointless, but given that things were already awkward between you, it was a bit crass.
And as for the car, would it not be likely that she was trying to get to the bottom of why you're considering adoption and she was questioning whether finances is a genuine concern? It's only by working out the problem that they can work out whether there's a solution.
I'm not saying it's okay, but just wondering what her side of the story might be. As you're suffering from anxiety you might be feeling particularly sensitive to any whiff of judgement.
And perhaps you are trying to hard to cope? Please don't be afraid of kicking off a meeting with any of these professionals by telling them that things are difficult for you.
And if the midwife is a bad person, you can be sure that there will other complaints about her and that she will be pulled up.

Zia it would be very reasonable to report that midwife. You should not feel that you need to take responsibility for her rudeness and insensitivity.

Op sorry you were made to feel like this. Try PALs first midwives are not employed by GP surgeries so though it is good for practice managers to know there maybe a problem with one working with their patients they are not really I apposition to do anything.