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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Would I enjoy a wedding at 34 weeks?

26 replies

silverfishlondon · 29/09/2014 23:45

We have been invited to a wedding when im 34+2. Husbands friend and I don't know them atall, so wouldn't mind missing it. Hes keen for me to go.

I have not idea how hard it will be to travel by then and how tired id get. It would be 3-4 hours on train , or by car, traveling with a friend. We would stay at nearby hotel and so I could retreat there, but it looks like a long day planned (starts 11.30!), and no doubt the boys would be getting drunk.

Am I being a wet blanket to opt out?
Or would be just be massively exhausting and unnecessary?

Thanks for any opinions!

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MmeLindor · 29/09/2014 23:48

The wedding itself wouldn't have bothered me - being able to escape to room for a lie down would help - but being 4 hours from home at that late stage of pregnancy isn't ideal.
Would he be ok to go alone?

doobledootch · 29/09/2014 23:51

It's quite possible to enjoy a wedding when you're that pregnant, but not sure if I could be bothered to make the effort if I didn't know the people getting married or quite a few of the guests quite well.

goodbyeyellowbrickroad · 29/09/2014 23:53

I travelled 3 hours to go to a good friend's wedding at 35 weeks. We went up the afternoon before so no travelling the morning of the wedding. Had a lovely time celebrating with DH and friends. Partook of a glass of champagne and ate my body weight in hog roast baps whilst watching everyone get tippy.

I did have a look at where the nearest maternity unit was just in case. Also took my notes with me and some newborn essentials.

As long as you're feeling well and think you'd enjoy it I'd go.

MmeLindor · 29/09/2014 23:55

Yy Dooble - I'd probably make the effort/take the risk for a close friend.

I had a friend who gave birth 5 weeks early while on holiday in Austria, and it was such a stressful time cause she has to stay a couple of weeks in hospital.

UpUpAndAway123 · 30/09/2014 06:19

I did it (now 38 weeks) and although not looking forward to it, I had a really good time! x

rootypig · 30/09/2014 06:21

How many weeks are you now, and how are you feeling? I felt totally normal at 34 weeks, worked and commuted (by bike, tube and train ) til 39 weeks. But in my first trimester I barely got out of bed. So it really depends on the pregnancy imo.

You might meet a marvellous new friend!

LittleBearPad · 30/09/2014 06:30

I did at 37 weeks, although I took both notes and car seat just in case.

morechildrenplease · 30/09/2014 06:43

You will be fine and have a great time. In my experience you don't start getting (really) uncomfortable until the last couple of weeks. Second taking your notes and working out where hospital is just on case but it's pretty unlikely that anything will happen.

LIG1979 · 30/09/2014 06:55

I went to a wedding at 37+3 (and dd was born at 38+0). had a lovely time and it was good to catch up with a group of now geographically dispersed friends before dd arrived.

However, I found the 2 hr car journey tough and had to go and sit down outside for a bit when it all got too much. I did take my notes and hospital bag.

wouldn't probably have bothered if or wasn't a close friend but definitely doable at 34 weeks.

notmuchofaclue · 30/09/2014 07:03

I went to a wedding when I was about 30 weeks and it was pretty hideous. I didn't know many people and everyone got really hammered. I spent the whole time with really drunk people grabbing my bump and asking me the same questions repeatedly as they were too drunk to remember having asked already. At one point, one girl came crashing in to me while I was sat at the side of the dance floor and smacked me in the chops .
Now it seems most people here have had good experiences but I for one certainly wouldn't be accepting any invitations this time around!

Shroomboom · 30/09/2014 07:17

I travelled 8 hours to a different country to attend a wedding at 32 weeks pregnant. It was family so we really needed/wanted to go, but i did take my hospital bag just in case I was sat in the car for most of the journey - was a bit uncomfortable but we're so glad we went! Got some lovely family pics with the bump too!
Have fun if you go

oopsamadaisy · 30/09/2014 07:27

I went to a family wedding at 37 1/2 weeks.Though it was nearby.I knew everyone and was looking forward to it but to be honest I was very tired and uncomfortable and wanted to leave much earlier than I could-had to stay as was driving DH.
At 34 weeks I wasn't quite so uncomfortable but it is very hard to know how YOU will feel,especially if it is your first. If I didn't know the people and it was a 4 hour journey then no way would I have done it. Plus my midwives kept telling me from about 32 weeks that I was likely to go early-I really can't remember why and I lasted to 40 weeks!- but that put me right off going any distance from my hospital for the last month or so.
Why is your DH so keen for you to go?

Eminybob · 30/09/2014 07:31

I did at about 34 weeks, I was huge and very uncomfortable, suffering from spd and ended up leaving at 9pm as I was knackered. Unfortunately that did mean that my mum and her partner had to cut their night short as I was driving and they were staying at mine (reasonably local wedding luckily). It wasn't the most fun I'd ever had tbh.

I did decline a wedding invitation for when I would have been 40+4, but as it happens DS came at 37+4 so I ended up going with 3 week old DS. That wasn't much fun either but for different reasons.

weebairn · 30/09/2014 08:55

I did it at 35 weeks and it was ok, but it was a very nice relaxed wedding (I'm not a fan of weddings normally) and it was in the same city my parents live in so I could crash with them, and they picked up DD (nearly 2) from the wedding at 6pm so me and DP could relax a bit more.

I found sitting down for speeches etc pretty uncomfortable. I danced for a bit and did something horrible to my pelvis We left at 9pm because I was very tired. It was a close friend of DPs - I would not have travelled or bothered for someone I didn't know well or care about. DP had a few drinks but I wouldn't have gone if he had been planning on getting drunk. I also had the option of going home with DD at 6pm which I think helped, made me more relaxed knowing it was optional.

From what you've said above, I wouldn't go, and I'm not quite sure why your husband needs you to, but I'm not really a wedding person anyway.

halfdoneharris · 30/09/2014 08:59

I think it really depends if you are having an easy pregnancy so far. I went to a good friend's wedding at 38 weeks which was a few hours from home and we stayed in a local hotel the night of the wedding. It was a long day but by then you are so obviously pregnant that the staff were really happy to get me a chair for the canapés bit, and the sit down dinner was fine too. We had a great time, and i even had a glass of champagne and danced til 11. I did take my hospital notes and hospital bag but dd didn't arrive til 41 weeks.

redexpat · 30/09/2014 09:11

I went to one at 38 weeks during 1st pg. Had a ball, but it was only half an hour away. I reckon if you generally enjoy ca good wedfing then go - make sure you have taxi number in your phone so if you need to you can get back to the room for a lie down.

FirsttimerG · 30/09/2014 09:28

I travelled 8 hours to a wedding at 38 weeks - although I found the whole experience very tiring, I really enjoyed myself too!
Take your notes and a few essentials if you can just in case. It'll be fine xxx

Annarose2014 · 30/09/2014 10:41

I'm 34 weeks now. For a close family member? I'd drag myself along and try to make the best of it but tbh I would find it draining. I'm shockingly tired just putting my socks on let alone getting glammed up!

Also the having to be sober thing, and answering endless questions about your pregnancy. And having to sit all night on those function room chairs. Mind you, if I found a comfy armchair I could sink into, and a relatively sober person to talk to whilst I was in it I'd be OK!

But for someone I didn't know that well? Nah....I'd send DH with my blessing.

But if you do decide to go, then strongly recommend train rather than car. Car would be excrucitaing for 3-4 hours. Train: you can stretch your legs and wriggle around the seat and have a pee.

WftsC · 30/09/2014 11:46

I would go and eat everything in sight, then look forward to a lovely night in a hotel bed when the drunkenness of others got too much!
Have been to a few weddings recently - one where I was still on the dance floor past midnight (34 weeks) and one where I had such a good time chatting to everyone (sitting down!) until about 10, then rolled to the hotel room with my book, a cuppa and some wedding cake and left them all to it (until 5am, the feckers!)
This week, however, I would be dragging myself there, though, so it really depends.

Thurlow · 30/09/2014 11:52

I think you'd probably be fine. I enjoyed a rare night out at that stage, as I felt I'd not been very social during my pregnancy at all. I went to someone's party at that stage and surprised myself by staying till 1am.

If I were you I'd make plans to go but let your DH know that it all obviously depends on how you were feeling by the time comes. But if the hotel you're staying at is nearby and you can leave when you want to and go to bed, you'll always have that back up.

martie1 · 30/09/2014 11:59

Im just back from a family wedding and I had a ball. However Im 30 weeks pregnant, picked up a stomach bug from other guests, spent saturday throwing up and running to toilet and then when I thought id recovered on Sunday, on Monday I was a complete mess again and had to take to my bed. Today it's clear I have a cold and I am just run down. We've done 3 weddings in the last 6 weeks and that's just added to the whole thing. Be wary of over doing it is my best advice. I am suffering the consequences now.

capecath · 30/09/2014 12:03

Absolutely! Sit down, relax, chat to as many people as possible, eat lots, enjoy being able to have a nice long uninterrupted dinner... Weddings are a lot more enjoyable and less stressful without the kiddos, at least in our experience (been to at least 10 in last 4 years with 2 little ones) :P agree, good idea to have comfy bed in hotel nearby for when you're ready to sleep...

smogsville · 30/09/2014 12:07

I went to a good friend's at about 36 weeks I think. I was a bit nervous about being a long way from my hospital but took everything with and DH and I left at 10pm to go back to our B&B.

I wouldn't not have gone as a v gd friend, but in your scenario I would selfishly refuse, big up my tiredness symptoms and stay at home with a friend on hand for movies and sofa snacks!

This time round there's one in SA when I will be around 32 weeks and I'm almost certainly ducking out, depending on what my first scan gives us in terms of dates. I don't fancy 10 hrs each way on a plane and my mum will give me hell about it if I say I'm going (wimp).

ruth1104 · 30/09/2014 12:34

Sounds completely doable, especially since you could nip back to your room between the ceremony and meal for a nap if you want, and allow extra time on the journey for leg stretching breaks. On the other hand, you're pregnant enough to use it as an excuse if you don't want to go :D

TortoiseUpATreeAgain · 30/09/2014 12:49

At 34 weeks I'd have enjoyed a wedding of one of my friends, or one of DH's friends that I knew, or at least a wedding where I was going to know plenty of other people.

On the other hand, dragging yourself 4 hours away at 34 weeks so that you can watch a hundred people you don't know getting drunk while you are stone cold sober is significantly less appealing.

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