Are you pregnant, or are we pregnant?

[ApocalypseThen]

It really irritates me when men with a pregnant partner describe themselves as pregnant. I think it really diminishes the hard work pregnancy is.

How do you feel? Are you pregnant yourself, or is he pregnant, too?

Suppose it depends on our conception and pregnancy. If it's all fairly average with no problems I can see why it's more of the 'I'.

Sorry ToAvoid, for me that isn't the case.

IMO, it just seems a little innacurate to say "we are pregnant".

The definition of the word pregnant is: Adjective (Of a woman or female animal) having a child or young developing in the uterus.

The fact I wouldn't say "we are pregnant" doesn't mean that expecting a baby means less to my DH than it does to me or that I think he has a less important role, and it definitely doesn't come down to the way in which we conceived. More often than not I say "we are expecting / having a baby" so DH isn't excluded.

Maybe I am being a bit pernickety with my use of language though... That's just me

As I said I don't really care that much. Your pregnancy your choice. I don't judge people for nonsense like this.

What DecaffTastesWeird said.

We're pregnant; when announcing. I'm pregnant; when discussing it on forums etc.

It took two of us to make this baby. I'm only carrying this baby because I'm the only one with the bits and pieces. If DH had a womb I would gladly pass the mantle as they would say.

To be honest, it's such a trivial thing that it doesn't bother me, either way my response would be; congratulations. Whereas those who say "he can't have PND because he didn't carry/birth the baby" piss me off .

Drives me mad too. I am pregnant. WE are having/expecting a baby.

I told husband I would chop it off if I ever heard him say 'we are pregnant'.

'We are trying to get pregnant' also sets my teeth on edge.

Hmm, the evidence for male PND is all a bit conflicting, tbh; depends on what you think PND consists of.

Pregnancy is a specific, female-related thing. The only time a man can say he's pregnant is when he's a transman who is pregnant. Otherwise, men are simply not enduring the whole horrible process of pregnancy. It's like men who say "We had [the baby]" - huh, yes? How's your pelvic floor and perineum, then, mate? Your stomach muscles and your boobs?

The only person who's actually got to be in the room giving birth is also the only person who's pregnant for the run-up. Partners - of whatever gender - anyone who is physically capable of absenting themselves from the birth - are not, by definition, pregnant.

To be honest, it's such a trivial thing that it doesn't bother me

I don't actually think it's trivial at all. It erases what pregnancy means, physically and emotionally, for women. It endorses the anti abortion view that it's not just about the woman and her body, and the trivialisation of the whole process feeds into the view that it's not really that hard a process, so, for example, instead of demanding the right to an abortion, all stupid whining women have to do is sit a few months out and give birth with no permanent effects.

I think it's really disrespectful towards women. Not trivial at all.