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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Tell me I don't have to be bed bound for this baby to be ok.

22 replies

ThisBitchIsResting · 29/09/2014 13:00

I had a MC earlier this year. Did a cheapy test this morning and got a faint line. Panicked, sent DD to nursery and called a sickie to work and have come back to bed and afraid to move in case it won't stick

Someone give me sensible words of wisdom that I can go about my life as normal and it won't affect my chances of another MC?

I have a First Response test to do tomorrow in case it was a false positive too. I'm just so scared already, I feel sick.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

katandkits · 29/09/2014 13:04

Bed rest will not affect the outcome of this pregnancy. I know The Fear only too well but it is best to go about your days as normally as you can. Almost all miscarriages are caused by genetic faults at the point of conception.not something you did or didn't do after. Just follow the normal NHS advice. I found an 8 week scan helpful as I was very anxious after my miscarriages. You will probably have to pay privately for that though but I got one for £50 once so it is not very expensive.

katandkits · 29/09/2014 13:04

Forgot to say good luck! Hope it is a sticky one.

Christelle2207 · 29/09/2014 13:04

Aw congrats. I'm no pro but am positive that carrying on with your usual routine will be better for baby than lying flat. I ran a 10mile race while 8 weeks PG last time and even went skiing at 13 weeks! DS turned out perfectly.

Fitzers · 29/09/2014 13:06

The same thing happened to me except I got pregnant immediately after a miscarraige. I was also terrified it would happen again but I had a scan last week and am now 9 weeks pregnant. The doctor reassured me that miscarraige, although very upsetting, is also very common and most women go on to have healthy pregnancies afterwards. Also that, in the early stages there isnt really anything you can do except take some of the usual precautions with food, folic acid etc and not straining yourself overmuch. Please try not to worry yourself sick. I hope tomorrow's test is reassuring.

Original poster

ThisBitchIsResting · 29/09/2014 13:11

Thank you for lovely replies.

My job is quite physical and quite stressful. If I MC again I will blame myself.

When I started bleeding with my last miscarriage , the doctor at A and E told me to rest in bed and that would affect whether the baby survived or not. I've been told since that was rubbish, but I can't help feeling that way now. Also the miscarriage was poorly managed - I was told it was complete and that I didn't need surgery, then a mont later I passed the complete fetus. I was only 11 weeks gone but still. The most upsetting thing I've ever gone through and I don't trust my body, or the NHS, now.

OP posts:

UpUpAndAway123 · 29/09/2014 13:13

Congratulations!
It's understandable but you're trying to control something that you have no control over. Lying in bed will not stop a miscarriage if that is what's going to happen. Maybe have a chat with your GP for advice if high levels of anxiety continues x

DayLillie · 29/09/2014 13:25

I was told to 'potter around' but not to suddenly start shifting the furniture or heavy shopping, rather than bedrest, if that is any help.

TinyTear · 29/09/2014 13:25

bedrest only affects late cervical incompetence as fas as i am aware

i had 5mcs in total and in the pregnancy with my DD was the one where between conception and BFP I ran 3 5k races, did quite a few zumba classes and was quite active...

TinyTear · 29/09/2014 13:26

but if your job is physical, do tell your bosses straight away and they need to put some measures in place

Original poster

ThisBitchIsResting · 29/09/2014 13:29

Thanks tinytear I was just thinking about that. I don't want to tell them just yet but maybe in a couple of weeks. I do have to move stuff around and be active but the tales of Zumba and running are reassuring me a little.

OP posts:

TinyTear · 29/09/2014 13:31

The worry won't stop, I can tell you that! I am now 11w with number 2 but with the 5mcs, even with scans every 2 weeks (some NHS, 1 private) I am still scared shitless!

my activity now is running after and carrying a 2y8m but still hanging on...

DrownedGirl · 29/09/2014 14:07

See your gp.
If being off work and resting makes you feel safer, ask for a sick note. Though you may find being at home just gives you more time to worry.

Will your gp refer you for an early scan?

I can recommend hypnotherapy relaxation CDs to reduce stress

DrownedGirl · 29/09/2014 14:09

How old are you?
What exactly happened last time? You had no early scans but started bleeding at 11w?

Pregnantagain7 · 29/09/2014 14:11

Ive totally been where you are and know how you are feeling. I've had three mcs and have three children (currently 38 weeks with dc4) I got pregnant twice immediately after mcs and both stuck and are now 3 and 1. I know this isn't the case for everyone but there is hope. Agree to telling work early but other than that all I think you can do is carry on as normal and keep your fingers crossed. But whatever happens it is absolutely not your fault

tinytear I hope you don't mind me saying but I remember you from a thread you started a few months ago. A huge congratulations to you and hope everything goes well.

Op a phrase that is often used by the people on the rm threads (and tinytear iirc!) today I am pregnant. This helped me a lot in the early stages of this pregnancy when I was on constant knicker watch.

Good luck and a huge congratulations

PacificDogwood · 29/09/2014 14:12

A 'sticky' pregnancy will stick, no matter how stressful or physical your job might be.
A pregnancy that does not go on, will not go on even if you spend 9 months in bed with your feet in the air

Sorry, but it's true.
It does not actually matter what you do, just that you are comfortable doing it.

Yy to seeing your GP.
Ask to be referred to an Early Pregnancy Unit or similar - there is some evidence that 'supportive care' i.e. early scans may improve the outcomes of women who had previous MCs.

I had 4 MMCs 4 successful pregnancies and went from one extreme (doing everything 'right') to the other (not giving a toss) and you could not tell from my outcomes when I did what .

You sound terrified - understandable, but not much fun for you. Do get yourself some help to feel calmer. A pregnancy lasts a long time - much longer when you are just waiting for it to go wrong.

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 29/09/2014 14:14

Oh OP I totally understand how you feel. Although you do know that doing normal stuff won't do any harm whatsoever right? (There would be far less women in the world stressing over unplanned pg if that were remotely true)

I felt just the same when I was pg with ds1 and my lovely GP signed me off sick for a couple of weeks. Of course when it came to dc2 and dc3, I had no such luxury as rest and spent my days hefting around big toddlers and living heavy buggies in and out of car boots and of course, they were absolutely fine too.

I remember so well that feeling of needing to know I had done everything I possibly could though. Do be kind to yourself.

TinyTear · 29/09/2014 14:15

thanks pregnantagain were you in the October RMC thread? After that MC I went to Coventry for tests... it's that protocol that I hope is working...

And congratulations of being 38 weeks...

and yes, OP, today you are pregnant!

PacificDogwood · 29/09/2014 14:16

The advice to 'rest' when a MC is often dished out - I think just to make the woman feel she is doing 'something' to help - I find that v dubious: there is NO science to back that up and I'd rather be told up front that this pregnancy is unlikely to continue.

It helped me to remind myself of all the women worldwide who are having babies under the most adverse circumstances, poor nutrition, atrocious hygiene, no clean water, war, refugee camps, rape - etc etc. It helped me to find my peace with the fact that some pregnancies don't go on even under the most ideal of circumstances and that, no, I was NOT to blame.
I know may women who had MC don't agree with my sentiment, but it did help me to think 'this pregnancy was not meant to be'.

dancestomyowntune · 29/09/2014 14:21

Take it easy op, but you don't need to stop living a normal life for nine months! I've been there, I understand, but you need to relax and just keep telling yourself you are pregnant today.

leanne963 · 29/09/2014 15:19

Omg OP I am in exactly the same situation as you my MC was handled badly I was told everything had passed and two days later passed the sac/fetus. Was horrendous! I'm so sorry for your loss it really is terrible. I am also pregnant again and feel like if i do anything I will cause a MC. I've been on the sofa for days! Fingers crossed for you that this works out and sticks!!!

Original poster

ThisBitchIsResting · 29/09/2014 15:44

I like 'I am pregnant today' and will try to think that, thank you. I don't want to think about a baby or the future or plan too much, just focus on now.

I'm 34 so not too old I don't think but not a spring chicken either. I have a septate uterus too so know I'm at increased risk of miscarriage, it was discovered during my first and uneventful pregnancy that resulted in beautiful DD.

I really can't stay off work - I will go back tomorrow. Thanks all for your support.

OP posts:

caravela · 29/09/2014 15:58

Congratulations, and I hope that all goes well this time. I'm sorry for your loss, and I can empathise with your anxiety - I haven't had a mc myself but did have difficulty conceiving and so found it hard to believe that the pregnancy was actually happening and wasn't going to suddenly disappear.

When I first was leaving at the end of my first GP visit after finding out I was pregnant, she said something really nice and sensible that I found really reassuring and think all pregnant women should be told: "there's every chance that this pregnancy will be successful, but if you do have a miscarriage, it will almost certainly down to a genetic problem, and it's extremely unlikely that anything you did or didn't do could have affected the outcome." She also emphasised that carrying on with a normal routine and doing physical exercise would be good for me and the baby.

So do get on with your life and fingers crossed for a sticky pregnancy.

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