9 weeks pregnant and mother in law driving me mad

[Lizzy86]

So I've been so ill so tired and hormones all over the place, this is my first pregnancy. Mother in law constantly talking babies and I have been worrying about it all before my first scan at least. I've tried to tell her that although I like her talking about me carrying I also need a break from it especially when I'm worrying if everything's ok. So today after weeks of putting up with her, she came over to our house (uninvited as always) and started going on with herself again. I told her firmly (for the fourth time) that I want her to stop buying things for the baby and stop talking about it 24/7 because of how I feel. She didn't understand and stormed out. It's made me feel like shit! DH tried to defuse the situation by telling her that she needs to be more understanding but she didn't listen and still just stormed out. What have I done wrong??? She says I worry too much, is she right?

I sympathise. I am currently 12 weeks. My mil went out and bought a second hand travel system yesterday and then took offence when I said I didn't want it.

Fraid I don't have answers but can give sympathy.

I worried a lot in the run up to the 12 week scan. I certainly wouldn't have wanted anything to be bought for the baby. I'm 19 weeks now and worrying about the next one. My MIL's neighbour has knitted us lots of baby things but I've just put them away for now. Apparently we should giver her a box of chocolates to say thank you (I sent a card)! MIL doesn't actually talk about baby too much except to say how well she felt in the second trimester (I'm not) and how it's a good opportunity to eat healthier! But then we only see her every month or two.

I don't know what your normal temperament is but I've become quite poor tempered and emotional at times. It can be hard to block out or ignore stuff you might normally put up with. DH suffers the worst of it poor chap.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

You've not done anything wrong and it's natural to be nervous (I was a wreck throughout even though I had a textbook pregnancy). Your MIL should respect your feelings, it's you that's pregnant, not her! And buying stuff at 9 weeks! Blimey! I didn't buy anything myself until after the 20 week anomaly scan!

Glad that your husband is being supportive. You should start enjoying your pregnancy more in a few weeks when the first trimester is over!

Congratulations on your pregnancy :)
This needs to get nipped in the bud imo, and glad you've got a supportive OH. If this is her at 9 weeks - just imagine what she's going to be like when your little-one arrives! I'm having twin boys and my MIL said to me "I don't want to worry you, but I knew someone who had twin boys and they both turned out to be gay" WTF!? I'm going to start writing them all down - last night over family birthday dinner, she informed me that she'd seen nursing bras in aldi and had thought of me!!!!!!!!
Meanwhile for you - I recommend tic biscuits and lucozade. A bit of food/energy little and often will give you more energy and make you feel a little more human and able to deal with herself! take care :)

It is normal to worry - I put off buying anything until the last minute!

I do think you need to lay down a few boundaries now with you mil, otherwise she will be unbearable by the time the baby arrives. Just stay calm and consistent (good practice for motherhood), ask her not to buy anything until the baby arrives, and not to keep going on about it. If she cries or flounces, just let her.

I feel so weak and so fed up that I don't want to talk babies! Is this normal!?

I feel so upset today about how she reacted that it's made me worry about how she will be when baby is here. She's constantly in our house, calls every day, texts me all the time and I just want space. She's normally like this anyway but since becoming pregnant, it's all she speaks about. She's bought baby pyjamas, toiletries etc and I asked her not to. How am I going to cope with her in my life when I have her grandchild. I'm normally quite laid back and we kind of get on usually. But I feel like I'm going to blow

You are allowed to explode at her, just blame it on your hormones! Seriously, you need ground rules. Tell her you need space, that it's good to see her, but not every day. To stop buying things. Just be firm. She's just herself over excited.

Oh, and I didn't want to talk about babies at all until mine arrived. Even ante natel classes were a struggle for me.

Thanks for all the replies

It's made me feel normal at least. Just had a little cry with DH and told him how I feel. He's said he's going to sort it

Think I deserve a piece of toast with raspberry jam don't you

She's probably never had a miscarriage and assumes that pregnancy makes baby and everything will be fine. She's desperately excited for you and for her being a granny. Maybe just reduce your contact with her a but until you've had your scan?

I have just had such a giggle at all these posts then realised it was a nervous giggle cause I know for sure my MIL will be exactly the same way. I do think you should just be honest from the start, you don't want to receive baby stuff until you are safely in your third trimester!

My MIL is lovely, but....everyone you can do she can, and has, done better. I am sorry you are all deal with irritating MILs.

So here i am sat here 2 days post egg transfer and had to spend yesterday with the MIL - she knows nothing about the IVF and at this rate will know nothing about any potential pregnancy until i am about to give birth - hence why i found myself surfing mumsnet on ways to deal with her. From this post i think its safest to keep my mouth shut and head down.