homebirth for a 1st time fatty?

[unhappyfatmama]

Im 25 weeks. I am 18stone and possibly want a home birth. My midwife has said i will have to give birth at my local hospital because my bmi is too high to birth at the midwife led unit. Unfortunately there are no birthing pools at the hospital.

I really had my heart set on a fairly natural labour with just gas and air in a pool.
I have been made to feel utterly stupid by my midwife, and really i am so fat they should just give me a epidural and be done with it.
Obviously i have never been in labour before, and when it comes down to it, i might have no pain threshold and want as many drugs as possible!

Im just feeling very sad and deflated. This is the only baby i will ever have so i really want it to be a good experience.

So does anyone have any experience/advise for an overweight 1st time home birth?

I also wanted advise on changing my midwife. I really hate her manner. She does not endear you to her. She is abrupt and makes me feel like a fat idiot. If i ask something all i get are her opinions, rather then facts or guidelines.

I had to go in for a unbooked check and had a different midwife who was lovely and made me feel happy.
I have been getting some odd pains in my lower stomach and i have deliberately not called her to ask advise because she just makes me feel like a idiot.

so really i would like to change to someone else, but i dont know how to do that.

Oh hun :( I didn't want to read and run. I don't have much good advice, but I do have a lot of sympathy.
My midwife is terrible, but the hospital ones are great.
Could you research which local hospitals DO have birthing pools?
Also you can ask to see a different midwife. I'm not sure about the weight issue, but I can tell you I had a bmi over 30 when I got pregnant and no one has said I have closed options. I've chosen a hospital birth anyway.
Also I'm remarkably healthy and have had so far a lot fewer issues than some of my skinnier counterparts, so weight is something that is not the end of the world. Keep your chin up xxx

I'm on baby no.1 as well, so I might be talking nonsense.

However, my guess it would be to do with possible underlying conditions that might be more likely to happen with a high bmi, BUT if you keep yourself healthy (not a diet) eat well, take some gentle exercise every day and ensure you don't develop any pregnancy conditions, they should let you choose where to give birth. Low risk, yes?

Do your best and they might change their mind later in your pregnancy if they're satisfied. GOOD LUCK! :)

There's a website run by a woman with high bmi who was told the same but got her home birth - I think its called "big birthas" or something like that. There is probably good advise on there.

To change midwife I think you'd have to speak to supervisor of midwives - there should be a number for her in your maternity notes/book thingy.

Sorry I'm not more help.

*advice

I would suggest you get in touch with AIMS.

I'm a fat first timer and (hopefully) going for a home birth but my BMI at booking in was 31 which seems to be OK ish - I think it's over 35 where they get very tetchy.

I have had no problems at all during pregnancy.

A similar thing - however am not wanting a Home Birth - but would prefer to use a pool or use Active Birthing.

Am 33 weeks - Very high BMI (but you wouldn't think it to look at me - hcps regularly guesstimate about 3 stone lighter than I am), and have been put as Consultant Led - however am reading the NICE Guidelines in preparation to seeing my Consultant as she's put that she wants me monitored with the belt throughout labour (so would mean no pool) but she's never seen me. So have booked an appointment to discuss this with her. I've put on 7lbs so far, BPs been fine and GTT came back fine. Have also kept up regular exercise. So I'd say look up what the Guidelines say and then state your case as calmly as you can.

They cant stop you from having a home birth they can only advise. It is ultimately your choice. I would speak to another Midwife and possibly your GP to see what advise he would give.

Do you live close enough to the hospital so that if you did have to be transferred it wouldn't take long.

Hi :-)

I'm classed as 'obese' although even at my normal weight I still have a high BMI!
You can choose to give birth at home if you wish.....I planned HB with 1st (meconium and ended up with ventouse) and this one (37 weeks and breech so will have section in 2 weeks if the bugger doesn't turn!). I've been very supported both times round.....this time I have a one to one midwife who promote all normality and ensure you have all the information to make fully informed decisions (google them as they may be available in your area!)
A good place to start is www.homebirth.org.uk and a section called 'I can't have a home birth if....'
They also have links to other sites.
Being overweight does put you at risk of certain things e.g. gestational diabetes, high blood pressure which may make you want to reconsider plans if they were to arise but don't just be written off to have a medicalised birth just because of your weight.....hospitals are brilliant at doing that with 'low risk skinnies' never mind us 'high risk chubbies'
Do your research, eat well, exercise and good luck

btw Toniwol, research shows that continuous monitoring does not reduce infant mortality/morbidity it just increases the liklihood of medical intervention. some hospitals actually have portable waterproof ctg monitors - ask about them? I would decline continuous ctg due to the research and previous experience-and how is being tied to a monitor, restricting your movement conducive to normal labour abd birth? I would have a chat with supervisor of midwives for all your options and support x

Thank you i will look into all you have suggested. Everything has been normal so far, except the baby ia showing as a little large, but i am having another scan to look into that.

With regards to my midwife, will she be there at my birth? If i swap midwifes is there any chance she'd be at my birth? How do i go about finding and speaking to the supervisor midwife?

I'd love to have a water birth but haven't even been offered a choice yet. I'm about your weight but I'm also really short so my BMI is 43. I've had no complications at all, though, and I'm very active, so I'm sad I can't have the birth I want. I think I'm too nervous for a home birth, but I hope you get it.

I had a BMI of 34 at booking in and now at 33 weeks my BMI is 33 (yeah, I'm weird, I lost weight while pregnant... the heartburn put me right off eating). I'm planning on a home birth. Local convention can be very different from actual NICE guidelines. I'd suggest contacting AIMS as they might be able to help. Are you consultant led at the moment? I think if growth scans etc are normal then they don't have much justification for their decision. You are allowed to make choices here, I think it might be a time to ask some more questions.

I would suggest doing as much research as you can using the advice listed on here and understand that when it comes to your body, there is no "allowed/not allowed". I cannot advise you on what is healthiest for you and your baby but it drives me absolutely stark raving bonkers that Midwives use that kind of language.

I wanted a HB for my first baby. My BMI was 28. The morning of the home visit for assessment when I was 39 weeks, I'd swum two miles. I was very fit. The midwife STILL had me in tears umming and ahhing about my BMI and whether "they'd allow" me to have a HB. My husband, a personal trainer and probably a damn sight more knowledgable about health, fitness and nutrition than the community MW, was furious. As it happened I was pressured into an induction so the HB never happened.

But. Do your research. Know your rights and make your decisions informed decisions, not fear based decisions as the NHS so regularly push. It is absolutely not up to them. They have no legal jurisdiction. They can only advise and they SHOULD be talking through all the risks AND the benefits AND alternatives.

My BMI was too high for me to have a water birth at the hospital, so that is is something to bear in mind. The reason for this is health and safety if the midwives had to get you out of the pool quickly.

You could, as far as I am aware, hire a birth pool for a home birth and there isn't much the midwife could do to stop you. But if they needed to get you out urgently the risk remains.

Sorry you are having issues with your midwife, I hope you manage to change to one you are better suited with.

In my area they allow water birth in the MLU for women with a BMI of below 35 at booking in.

I don't really understand why BMI is used as a cut off for being able to be lifted out the pool. Surely an actual weight would make more sense if it's who can be lifted. Someone 5 foot tall and BMI of 36 is much lighter (by several stone) than someone 6 foot with BMI of 30.

I had a BMI over 30 with my first, and there were no restrictions on where I could have my baby. In fact my midwife really wanted me to. BUT, in the end we chose a hospital birth as we were first time parents and had no idea what to expect.

I'm pregnant with no. 2 at the moment and would love a home birth, not least because it would make child care arrangements easier. But as I am group b strep positive, I have to go to hospital.

You need to do a lot of reading and weigh up all the risks for yourself.