Looks like I'm going on my own to scan : ( ,need a moan.

[Biffalobuff]

Just that really.It's number three so I suppose once you get to three one of you has to stay home more often.Can't get a babysitter for the scan which is in the evening,only person in the country is MIL whose bridge night it is.Apparently this can't be cancelled-I really am not the sort of person who expects grandparents to drop everything to babysit but firstly it's for a hospital scan,and secondly I know she has not gone to it before on several occasions to look after other of her grandchildren. She has not gone before so they can go out to tea for example!
When we told my parents we were expecting they didn't even say congratulations and were disinterested at best,and when we told MIL husband mentioned I'd been feeling v ill and all she said was 'but not as bad as Kate Middleton I'm sure' to which I agreed as I don't have HG thank God but still feel rotten 24 hours a day. When DH's brother's wife was pregnant last time I got a description of every tiny complaint she'd had (and she said herself to me she had a very easy pregnancy just was tired looking after the other two) by way of MIL and she was always looking after their other two kids to 'give poor her a hand.'
Sorry for the rant.I know none of it is really bad,I've just been feeling a bit low with hormones and now feeling worse due to overall apparent indifference of everyone. Not that you expect ppl to be shouting from the rooftops when it's your third but still hurts.

Is your scan too late in the evening to take the dc?

Unfortunately yes.it's the first one so is also with booking in appointment.Apptmt starts at 7 and is 2 hours and scan is near the end.Oldest might be ok,but youngest wouldn't be.DH sad to miss it but not a lot we can do.
We talked about bringing them but know that DH would just end up having to take littlest one out of scan as he'd be exhausted and v unsettled.

That's a shame. I've been to a 12 week scan alone and it was ok tbh. My oh came to the next one

Have you tried asking round some friends to see if your dc could have a sleepover with a promise to return at a later date? Or if there's any friends of friends who have teenage dc who could sit and watch tv whilst your dc sleep for a few hours?
Settle the little one in a buggy?
Maybe ask a neighbour if they wouldn't mind sitting in your living room for a few hours (dc might also know them then too?) with maybe a return of 'il draw your curtains/ look after the house when your next away' or something?
Hope you figure something out

Just to say- several children in the waiting room for a scan would not be ideal. 1 in 5 of those scans (yes it is that high) won't end well or might be just to confirm sad news, which is why many hospitals are firm about it. Worst experience ever was mother turning to her mother and bitching about my crying 'upsetting her kids on this happy day' when I was waiting to find out whether my miscarriage had been caused by cancerous cells. Talk about oblivious ... guess that's why the rule is there though.

That's really inconsiderate of your MIL, surely she should treat all her children/gradchildren equally? Could you not hire a babysitter from an agency or something just this once?
Alternatively could you ring and ask for a different scan time - cheeky I know but they sometimes oblige!

squizita that's awful!Yes that is also part of the reason I don't want to bring them,first it's not only ppl with happy news there but also if it isn't for us I'd rather have a bit of time to process it before explaining it to them.Unfortunately all are not equal in MIL's eyes and weirdly it's the ones who take advantage the most and rarely give anything back to her/are there for her that get treated best.
We have a childminder for when we're at work but not for babysitting,I don't think it would be suitable to ask her though as she has her own family.Unfortunately no friends with older children or ones who would be available at that time and who kids would know well enough to be put to bed by,same with neighbours.All good suggestions though!

If the scan is at the end could dh put the kids to bed (having taken you to appointment first if car needed and you only have one?) then quietly leave the house with neighbours/friends sitting downstairs to rescue kids in case of fire. No need for kids to know you're out. Then he could make it to the appointment in time for the scan.

Why not ask the childminder if she has any contacts who would do it for a reasonable fee - she might then offer herself, or come up with somebody she would trust.
Have you also asked DH to think of anyone he knows? Maybe he could ask his mother if she could think of anyone and she'll realise you're really stuck.

Might think about asking childminder's advice,if DH could get kids down and then join me though as suggested that would give me a couple more options.Also going to contact hospital on Monday and see if there's any chance of a move.
Thanks!

Is dh not prepared to have a chat with his mum? I think your likely to require her to step up twice more, the next scan & when you go into labour, so it may be worth broaching the subject early on. What happens if your labour interrupts bridge night?

Have you tried to change the time of your scan? My friend had to change hers and it wasn't a problem.

Going to ring on Monday.Jaffa when DH originally asked we hadn't told anyone what it was for so then when we realised we really didn't have any other options he said he was sure if we told her what it was for she'd change it.So the last conversation was when he said 'so that is why we need a babysitter any chance?' and she said any other day that week would be fine but that's bridge night.So I don't think there's much hope there unfortunately.
As to the birth I would imagine my mum and dad will take them but I will make sure to have that all sorted well in advance,as just don't know where we come in the pecking order now!

DD1 went to my 20 week scan as DH was in Europe, my parents/sister live 2hrs away and DMIL had died suddenly 2 months before. (She lived the other end of the country in any case).

Fortunately the older radiographer just shrugged slightly at the sight of DD1.

Having recently moved I really hadn't any good enough friends to ask to baby sit. As you say OP finding baby sitters really isn't that simple and it's really irritating when people with obliging granny round the corner think it is. Also, sometimes I feel granny round the corner is bitting her tongue. I know my D(older)F drops her own social life and hobbies to run after GCs more than I feel is reasonable.

I sympathise but like you say with DC3 that's kind of the way it is...

When my friends insisted on both of them going to hospital with an ill DC I was a bit as I kind of accept that our responsibility to 3DC are that we look after them all between DH & I unless we are lucky enough to have some kind of back up!!!

I went for all my scans/appointments alone with DC 3....

I do get that you would like your parents/ ILs to step up but if they won't it's better to get your head round it sooner than later.

When DC2 was born we were reliant on friends / nursery to look after DC1 as none of our family were "available". With DC 3 my SIL fortunately agreed to come and stay so she could help out with DCs 1 and 2 - but neither parents nor ILs were willing/able to do it!

Yes I think to be honest that is just how it will be with DC3.
Certainly in terms of taking one ill child to Doc's etc only one of us would go.I don't mind so much going to the scan on my own,I think DH is more disappointed than me tbh but I'm just having a bit of a pity party with my hormones I think.Oh well!