Someone please help :( very worried & scared 19 year old

[jessica9071]

Hi, i just need someone's opinion please, i'm only 19 and i'm scared witless. I've been feeling weird for a little while, sort of dizzy and feeling nauseous on and off and my breasts have been so, so, so sore! sorer than any time i've had a period. i have really irregular periods so it's normal for me to miss one!!

however 2 days ago (with my period making no appearence) i had a little nagging worry about being pregnant. i bought 2 Lloyds Pharmacy tests and did them in the afternoon. the test shows a + for pregnant and a - for not pregnant. i did one, it showed a strong vertical line and a faint horizontal - a cross. i did the second one a few moments after in panic and it was the same.

I took a picture on my phone and literally ran to lloyds to ask the pharmasist if it was a positive reading. she said it looked like a positive and i cried in just shock all the way home. i don't know what to think! a part of me is sort of in denial.

Basically what i'm asking is - does this sound correct? did any of you guys get a faint positive reading and it turned out you were pregnant for definate? i've got a appointment with the doctor on wednesday and i'm so scared. i don't want to look like an idiot if he tells me im not.

Will really appreciate any answers!!!!!!

Thank you x

Usually one line is a bit fainter from my experience so sounds like you are pregnant, they don't tend to do tests at the doctors as far as I no they never have for me. Can you get a clear blue? They have digital ones that say pregnant / not pregnant and will also tell you how many weeks up to 3+ then you will def no xx

I'm sorry but even a faint positive is a positive, I'm guessing you don't want to be pregnant? Do you have anyone in real life you can talk to about this like your mum or partner if you have one?

thanks for replying, i'll get a clearblue digital one tomorrow just to double check, and i don't really know, i've never thought about being pregnant and i wasn't trying - i guess i'm just confused and sort of shocked, just never expected the pregnancy test to show what it did! and not really, my partner knows, but i don't know if i'd have the courage to tell my mum xxxx

Hope your ok Jessica. Did you manage to get a clear blue test?

If you are don't worry there lots of things to think through and you have time to make any decisions mums are usually better than you think when you tell them I got pregnant at 18 and had my little boy at 19 message me if you want x

Hope you're feeling ok this morning :) if it's any consolation I'm 36 and pregnant with my fourth it was still a big shock and took my ages to get my head round it.

Just a quick one to say I can empathise. I'm currently 31 weeks with my first, and I turn 20 at the end of this month. My pregnancy was completely by chance ( my coil fell out without me knowing) and although my life has undeniably changed, it is for the better and not the worse. I was lacking in any kind of direction, in a career which pays good money but I don't enjoy, and having this baby has given me the determination and drive to realise I can achieve whatever I want to, which I fully intend on doing along side being a mother. Whatever you decide, make sure you're 100% happy with your decision as either is for life. If you need or want to talk to someone who's currently going through it, feel free to drop me a message. You are never completely alone, and although scary, telling my mum was the best thing I did - our relationship now is better than it ever has been and I wouldn't have been able to get through this half as easily without her help.

Hi everyone, thanks for all of your responses, it means a lot to have other women's advice. I did my clearblue this morning and as you can see, it's definitely a positive. My boyfriend is 100% on wanting an abortion and I was, but recently I've just been doubting it and I'm not so sure. Thank you again for all your answers. Really appreciate it. Xxx

Abortions are a lot easier for men though..

Hi Jessica,
Can I recommend that you try and talk to someone impartial and who is good at listening? Perhaps a teacher or a school counsellor? Maybe an older sibling or older friend? It's helpful to have someone who can go through all of your feelings with you and help you work out what is best for you, regardless of what mums and boyfriends think and want you to do.
You could even begin to clear your head a bit just by writing a pro and con list (I'm not trying to be patronising- sometimes big decisions can be so big it's hard to know where to start) and it helps to get your thoughts down on paper. Try to consider everything from uni (if you want to go) to your boyfriends feelings. It might be easier to see what you think once you've worked that out.

Your boyfriend may well want an abortion, but it is not his decision.

Do you have an aunt/sister/older friend you can talk to? Or your mum?

I was pregnant with my first at 19 too. So I know how you might be feeling.

The decision to have an abortion is not your boyfriends. Do not just go along with what he wants unless it's 100% what you want to do.

Just another one adding a voice to the "do what's right for you" side here, Jessica. Young mums and single mums can still be, and often are, completely fabulous mums, so don't go and terminate the pregnancy on your bf's say-so. Make sure you chat to people you trust, and do what's right for you. xx

Agree with others re decision needs to be 100% yours not your bf. Also remember that if you want to keep this baby he may come round to the idea as well.

I know its a shock but if you want to its certainly do-able. Have a good think and see if you can get some totally imparital advice/someone to talk it through with. This has to be your decision, whatever you choose.

Ring Marie Stopes or BPAS. They will offer you impartial counselling - most, if not all, people you talk to will have their opinion coloured by their own views.
Please get impartial counseling to help you decide what will be right for you

Hope you're ok OP. It's scary. I had DS at 17, I found out v late on though so not much chance of abortion, so didn't have to wrestle with that. Agree with others - contact Marie stopes or another org - they can help you

hi Jessica
hope your doing OK
I was in a similar situation when I found out I was pregnant it wasn't planned and my partners first reaction was abort it. It is so easy for them 2 say that you have 2 go through it and live with the decision. In all honesty I knew I would hold it against my partner if I terminated, but everyone is different.
I am currently 37+4 we have just finished getting everything ready and my boyfriend is more excited than I am!! I know it can be scary and it did take him a good while 2 cone round but know we couldn't be happier.
hope this helps
thinking of you

I was 21 when I had my first so a bit older than you, but my partner was supportive.

Go to the doctors ask to be sent for a date in scan ASAP if your already 3+ that means your over 5 weeks, do you no when your last period was? Also ask doctor to refer you to talk to someone. Hope your ok xxx

I was 18 when I had my first, and ended up a single parent for a good long while.

I was scared, but you know what? It'll be just fine. It really will. If you want to keep the baby, do not terminate just because someone is pressuring you to. You can do this alone if you need to.

Fwiw ten years on I have three beautiful children, a lovely husband and a fantastic career. My eldest, that I thought I would totally mess up, is a lovely little lad and would make any parent proud.

Do what YOU want.

Defo sounds like a positive to me as my tests were also the same at early stages of pregnancy! Dont be scared, 20 years old and currently pregnant with my 3rd, although 2nd & 3rd werent planned, i certainly wouldnt change either for the world! If you feel your ready, you go girl!

19 when I had my first and he came to uni with me :)

Another one just wanting to say do what's right for you.
A baby doesn't have to stop you from going to uni or doing anything else that you aspire to.
Get some support in real life, anyone that you feel that you can confide in, and take some time to think.
Good luck

Hi Jessica, I hope you're feeling OK.

I just wanted to let you know that I can empathise with you to a degree. I was 18 when I fell pg with DS - not planned.

I too was terrified at the thought of telling my family; my mum especially. She was very supportive. In fact, all of my family were/are and they dote on my DS.

I suffered DV from DS's dad and I'm now a single mum. I started my second year of Uni when DS was 4mo and I'm now in the final year of my teaching degree. DS is 16mo and I'm now 20.

It is doable, no matter how hard and daunting it may seem right now. If you want to terminate, that is OK too, but do not make a decision either way, based on what your partner wants.

One year ago this week I was in your position. I'd just found out I was pregnant at just turned 19, starting my 2nd year of uni and had no idea what to do.

It's terrifying and it is difficult, but you have choices. Mumsnet really supported me when I found out. My family reacted very badly at first and told me to have an abortion, but by 12 weeks they were very supportive, and my partner came round to the idea and was supportive too (still is!).

DD is now 5 months old and my family dote on her, I did my 2nd year of uni and stayed until the end (literally, she was born 3 weeks early on the last day of term, thankfully not in the classroom ), and my 3rd year starts next week, I'm going ahead with it as normal and passed my second year with a high 2:1. We rent a lovely modern flat, we are independent, DD is healthy, happy and well cared for, and OH and I are both hoping to do our PGCEs when we graduate.

If you want a termination, you have one - but if you are having doubts, please don't be pressured into it. My post and the others on this thread show that it's possible to continue with life and do well as a young parent.

Telling my mum was the most difficult thing I ever did, but we are now closer than ever. She was there at DD's birth alongside my OH and was my rock; she said she's never been more proud of me.

Whatever you decide, MN is great for support without judgment. PM me if you need any more advice