Wanting a baby after a abortion.

[Lauracarr55]

Hi I'm new and not sure if this is the right place to ask for advise.
I have a 3 year old son and the year b4 last me and oh really wanted another baby. We tried for a year and started to lose hope of it happening. But finally I got my BFP I was so happy we both where. When I was 7 weeks the sickness started and within 3 days It was horrendous I couldn't walk from room to room without being sick. I've never felt so ill in my life as the weeks went on I got more and more depressed I couldn't get out of bed I couldn't eat or even drink without being sick. I couldn't look after my son so he had to go to my mums And the guilt took over me. I started throwing up blood and was admitted to hospital where they said I was severely dehydrated and had torn the lining of my stomach. I was kept in for a week on a drip. They gave me so many different anti sickness drugs but none of them worked not even a little bit. I went home and within a few days was back in hospital on a drip I got more and more depressed and ended up having an abortion. The guilt has stayed with me every minute of every day. I feel so down as a year on and I'm so desperate for a baby but I know if I get pregnant the same thing will happen so I feel like I can never have another child now. It's really getting to me and I think about it all the time. I feel I can't put oh through it all again as he didn't want me to have an abortion and to ask him for another baby I think he would flip. I know I will get some nasty comments for this post but no one can make me feel any worse than already do. I just don't know what to do. I keep telling myself to come to terms with the fact I can't go through another pregnancy.

Nicecupoftea this thread came up on a search and I've just read your response. I'm literally in tears, what a brave, strong lady you are. You made the only choice you could in your circumstances so in some way there wasn't a choice at all. Of course experiences like this change us but please try to not let it overwhelm you and continue with your counselling. Xx

Hey,

I just wanted some advice if anyone else has been through a similar situation. Im 24 turning 25 in a few weeks. I’ve been so depressed and crying non stop with regret. I found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago, the guy I was seeing for almost a year told me he didn’t want it etc I should get an abortion, completely changed his attitude with me. I only told 2 friends and they also said I should have an abortion because I’m setting myself up first hand to be a single mum and it’s hard. In my heart I wanted this baby I had an abortion years ago when I was 18. I lost my virginity and got pregnant and my parents took me to get an abortion. So with that I already had trauma and didn’t want to get one ever again. This time round my mum said she’d support me, we don’t exactly get on, but I was so scared of struggling and what people would say about me being alone with no help from the dad I had the abortion. I didn’t want to do it so bad I tried to take the pills out my mouth and the women that worked there said its done it’s work she doesn’t know what would happen to the baby if I left. I now want a baby more than ever, and I’m sp mad because I had one and got rid of it. I’ve been crying so much I’ve never wanted to be a mum so badly. I just want to heal and try again.