NCT+ hypnobirthing + doula - OTT or worth it?

[pippinleaf]

I'm 38 and pregnant with my first. I have an enormous level of anxiety about the birth that is genuinely interfering with my enjoyment of pregnancy and my sleep.

I booked on to NCT primarily to make local friends as I don't have any I can see during the day while I'm off work. Then I booked on to hypnobirthing 1:1 sessions as I think it will help keep me calm instead of the panic I'm dreading. Now I'm looking into a doula so I can labour at home as long as I can before going into hospital and hopefully she will keep me and my husband reassured and as calm as possible with whatever bumps occur on the day/s.

Now I'm worried that it's going to be a nightmare anyway so maybe I should save the money for something else? It's money we have in savings and it's not all of our savings. My husband is fine with it if it makes me feel better.

Did you use hypnobirthing or a doula? Was it worth it or do you now think you would have been ok anyway and now be spending the money on something else?

Some studies have shown that having a doula is the best pain relief there is, short of being unconscious! For what it's worth, I did Hypnobirthing with DD a few years ago and found it useful in the very early stages but not after that when it all got very frightening and traumatic. I had a doula with DS a few weeks ago and had the most incredible, wonderful birth experience. Obviously that's one anecdote but I do believe that having her there made an absolutely enormous difference. In the weeks before the birth she was there to discuss my worries, to make suggestions of things I hadn't considered (not medical though-they can't do that) and to keep me calm and stress free. During the birth she was worth her weight in gold. I could happily have married her at the end of it! And afterwards she helped me with feeding. She gave me so many resources, put me in touch with so many brilliant contacts at various points, ensured our birth plan was followed-and all that in addition to massaging me, helping me focusing on my breath, holding my hand and generally giving me the confidence that I could do it. I loved that woman! Her presence also kept DH calm and they worked really well together.

I did NCT first time and it was great for meeting people but I didn't find it useful birth preparation. The focus was very much on 'these are all the possible interventions' which made them feel inevitable to me somehow, rather than on how to cope with labour. This time round I did a course called Mindful Breath Birthing which was infinitely better-the breathing techniques I learned were genuinely useful throughout the birth and meant I coped fine with a TENS machine and a bit of gas and air towards the end, where in my first birth I would have killed someone who got between me and my epidural.

If you could only afford one I'd say go for a doula-in a heartbeat. If you can afford all three then there's no harm whatsoever in doing all three I reckon.

I am doing NCT and natal hypnotherapy, also "Birth Skills" by Juju sundan. I have also found reading "no nonsense" factual information very reassuring (know someone who only did ideal world stuff and it wasn't the pain but the reality of it going wrong that upset her ... not badly wrong but she honestly thought the bad drs intervened for fun and if she planned a perfect birth no way baby would get stuck).

I can't afford a doula. Know several people who have had them: advice would be "shop around" - it seems to be a big secret how much they vary in quality, and being non medical they aren't regulated. There's a sponsored thread about it at the top of the board.

NCT is useful for making friends, but I wouldn't expect anything else from it.

...also get reviews of NCT. In contrast to PP some will try to scare you/guilt you out of an epidural (which is a perfectly legitimate choice if a woman wants one and us informed) so you want someone who will give a balanced view really. I'm highly about anything which pitches say a natural water birth as automatically superior to a hospital birth. Yes risks need to be taken into account bit if they are known and informed and the mum us happy ... that is success.
Perhaps because I do know people in Europe traumatised by their natural births in countries they won't give pain relief or speed up long labours! It is all about respect and common sense really.

My sister had a doula. It was expensive, and she had to interview a few to find one she liked and got on with, but she said it was the best money she ever spent. I'm due in november, but have decided that a doula just isn't for me. I have got a natal hypnobirthing cd though to listen to and I'm going to NCT with my husband, to help try and prepare him for the birth and for me to meet a few people due around the same time.

In your case I think a good doula would sound very helpful. I found yoga techniques very good for my birth last time. It helped me through all the contractions with a tens machine. And it was a back to back labour until the baby turned. It's a cliche to say it but pain tolerance has a lot to do with your mind. If you tend to panic it will be much harder to cope with labour. This is not to say a natural labour is superior to an epidural. But stay in control and being calm definitely helps whatever situation you might find yourself in.

Absolutely, totally not over the top. I'm a hypnobirthing practitioner and an NCT new parent supporter. If you get a great group, NCT will be amazing for making friends, if you have the finance for it go for it.

In terms of reducing your anxiety around having your baby, understanding the process of birth, what's going on when you're experiencing contraction, how your hormones play a part in how efficiently your body is able to work on the day. As well as receiving practical tools and techniques that will help you to stay calm and in a place of control when you're labouring is how hypnobirthing can help.

A doula will help to build your confidence and make you feel more secure, which again is why the simple presence of a doula has been statistically proven to reduce C-Section rates by around 24%. Reducing your anxiety is key, practicing the hypnobirthing techniques during your pregnancy will help you to start feeling more relaxed now and then on the day, will massively help. Having an advocate in your corner - such as a doula who knows you and what you want will also be amazing for you.

You can get birth doulas in London for around £600, but if you were open to someone who was still in training - but had still attended births - you can get them for significantly cheaper (if not free in some cases). Good luck!!

If you can afford it then do it. Any fool can be uncomfortable and if a Doula will help then it is a no brainer to my mind.
I didn't do hypnobirthing and regret it. I had a painful time and with hindsight should have done more to prepare myself.

Have you also considered Yoga? I've found some overlap with hypnotherapy however the slightly more active style really suits me (I have anxiety) and the 2 work together.
My centre prepares women for every birth from home to elective cesarean, honestly I would rate it very highly indeed for pregnancy anxiety.

We did hypnobirthing which entirely changed my approach to birth (i'm now excited about it and far more relaxed in general) and also made some good friends from the group which i wasn't expecting, would def recommend to everyone!
We also did the NHS course which we didn't really need and the NCT - for the same reason as you, to make friends in local area. We got loads of general pregnancy/ birth advice from hypnobirthing but the NCT def added a few bits on top e.g. sleep, nappy changing, labour positions. Plus met lots of lovely people.
People have said to me they've chosen not to do certain courses because of finance but I think both hypno and NCT are money well spent. You can save money in other areas by buying a second hand cot, not splurging on baby clothes etc which is what we've done. The only thing we've bought new is the pram and mattresses/ bedding for our hand-me-down crib and moses basket. The courses make you feel prepared, less anxious, not alone.....worth every penny in my book!

If you think these things will make things easier for you both in terms of your peace of mind for the rest of pregnancy and the birth then the money is worth it. However, the presence of a Doula and Hypnobirthing won't mean any intervention won't happen so please be prepared for that eventuality. My birth 3 weeks ago today ended up from a Waterbirth to being whisked off to theatre for an episiotomy and ventouse delivery surrounded by doctors, and you know what? It was absolutely fine, they were all lovely , I could have kissed them for getting him out and I was out of hospital the next day and out in town 5 days later with my baby boy. I tried to be pragmatic about the birth beforehand but even I got swayed by the mantra that all natural is great and any doctor/instrumental delivery is bad, and was pretty upset when they wheeled me off to the CLU, but when I was (bizarrely!) apologising to the doctor for 'not being able to do it properly' and it 'all going wrong' he said 'this is normal, we do this every day'. I have no issues with my stitches and feel totally normal down there. There may be many statistics about how a Doula can reduce cesarian rates but I worry that people think if they need intervention it's because they did something wrong. You can't learn to give birth, you can have techniques but I found in my case that instinct takes over and you do what feels right during the contractions to cope, in my case getting my husband to firmly rub my back, banging the wall, sucking the enotox like my life depended on it and shouting! So you may find your pre learned 'techniques' aren't what you want to do. I just say this in case you spend all that money and find the birth goes in a way where the hypnobirthing and Doula are pretty surplus to requirements. Again I really want to point out that a birth requiring instrumental intervention when needed is not a bad or unusual birth. It's a perfectly normal vaginal birth and the recovery is not necessarily worse.

I've got a doula. I tried the natal hypnotherapy thing and it's just not for me - I want a person there helping me, the end. I wasn't sure that my partner could do this for me - not because of him being hopeless or anything like that, but just because I have some anxiety related to hospital and medical personnel, and can't judge how I'll react. The doula is there to keep me at home for as long as possible, and to be an advocate for the both/all three of us when we're in hospital. She's cost £800, but it's something I can afford, so I'm going for it. If it doesn't work for us on the day, then we'll send her away. I'm not expecting an amazing natural birth just because she's there, but I want to be helped to feel calm about things, and I think she'll be able to do that.

As a PP suggested, if money is an issue and you do want a doula, look into getting a trainee. Ours was (in fact we were only her second clients) but she was totally brilliant. In our area a trainee costs about £200 and a fully trained doula costs about £1000, which we just couldn't afford. And do interview a few-you need to feel confident in them and comfortable with them-they will see you naked and primal after all!

Clops interesting the info on your NCT was better than nhs. Mine was the reverse: NCT a discussion (between 1st timers, clueless! Of what theories they'd read followed by a snippet from the leader) and nhs much more practical: birth, newborn care, anti SIDS, psychological advice.

Your replies have been so useful ladies - thank you.

I am also going to prenatal yoga and aqua natal so I'm glad to read that many of you have suggested that yoga is a good thing to be doing, I start that next week.

I'm not thinking that NCT will be anything other than a good way to meet friends.

I'm not against an epidural, pain relief etc, at all. In fact I'd be bloody amazed if I managed labour without something a bit more hefty than breathing and chime bars. I'm up for anything which makes it more doable and without terror.

Sadly there is literally only one doula in my area and she's expensive - £1000. If I don't click with her then there is no one else. Her website stuff seems good and we've sent a few emails back and forth. She's quite a long way away though and seems worried about this distance, I realise it's ideal if she can just pop in but there isn't anyone else. Definitely an open market if someone wants to be a doula in Dorset!

Hopefully we will meet up soon. I can't thank you enough for your responses. They've made me feel reassured that having a doula will be 'worth it' and has helped many of you. X