Feeling very scared and very alone right now

[Claire129]

I know this May seem like I'm being ungrateful and selfish but I'm scared be although I'm happily married I feel so alone in these feelings. I have 4 beautiful child aged 14, 12, 7 and 19 months. I found out I was preggers with number 5, 8 weeks ago and had to tell my children as pregnancy knocks me for six in the first trimester, all day nausea and tiredness. I work part time and my dh full time. I'm scared, I don't even think I want another baby, I've got my scan on Wednesday and can't get excited. I won't tAlk about this baby at all and can't bring myself to think about it. I feel so depressed and alone as my dh and children are very excited and happy. I just don't know what to do. I've not told any family as what will they say, they thought we were mad having 3&4. I'm genuinely scared what family, friends and my work colleagues will think and say. I'm so down and he nausea isn't helping. I'm 12 weeks and 2 days pregnant but the thought fills me with dread. What is wrong with me, I'm crying as I type this as I can't think of anything but I'm letting so many people down and what if I can't cope. Any advice would be much appreciated xx

Have you spoken to your GP or MW? You sound very depressed. What is it you most dread? Perhaps talking to us will help you sort through your feelings a little more?

OP you don't have to have the baby. Talk to your GP about your options and that may help decide if termination is right for you.

OP considering how I'll you get in the first trimester im not surprised you are feeling overwhelmed. My ds is 19 mts and im overdue baby #2 now but I could totally imagine feeling like you do. I get terribly sick too and quite honestly I dread pregnancy and can't see anything positive beyond that till baby arrives. Have a chat with dh and gp about how you are feeling.