When should I tell the doctor I'm pregnant? 2 previous mc in a row...

[Olive1987]

Title says it all really, I'm really panicky and anxious about everything. I keep checking for blood every time I go to the loo. I havnt had a period since April and have had two miscarriages in a row since then. I've just found out I'm pregnant again. I'm so happy but so scared.
Should I tell the doctor my worries? I heard some places do reassurance scans on the nhs. But I don't know how far I am and it might cause more anxiety if a heartbeat can't be found yet.
Should I just wait till after 6 weeks? (6 weeks is when I lost the 2 other pregnancies)

Hi olive, I was in a similar boat to you, and personally made an appointment with my GP as soon as I found out because I was so anxious. Some ladies prefer to wait though - depends how you feel. My reasoning was I wanted in the system as soon as possible as the NHS will start to investigate if you lose 3 babies and I wanted to make sure this kicked off if it did go wrong. I was very open with my GP and he was really helpful about supporting me - again I guess this will depend on your GP. Make sure you ask for a reassurance scan - they may refuse but you may get one. If not, there are some reasonably priced private scans out there. There is a great pregnancy-after-miscarriage thread which provides lots of handholding and support as well here on mumsnet, it has got me through a lot of crazy days. Good luck!!!

Hi Olive,
Sorry to hear about your MC's. I think it all depends on what is going to make you feel the happiest. Waiting until 6 weeks before phoning the doctor would still give you plenty of time to get your midwife appointments and scans all sorted so there would be no problem in waiting until then if that's what you want.
Offering early scans does seem to vary greatly depending where you live, so you may or may not be offered one. There won't be much conclusive reassurance they can give before 6 weeks, so if you think you would find it more stressful than helpful, maybe waiting until past 6 weeks is the best thing for you?
And if you don't get an early scan offered at all, you can always get a private one for about £100. After my MC I had a private scan at 8 weeks and by then you can see quite a lot of detail and a good heartbeat so it feels like a more 'meaningful' scan result.
Good luck with your pregnancy xx

Hi olive, I was in a similar boat to you, and personally made an appointment with my GP as soon as I found out because I was so anxious. Some ladies prefer to wait though - depends how you feel. My reasoning was I wanted in the system as soon as possible as the NHS will start to investigate if you lose 3 babies and I wanted to make sure this kicked off if it did go wrong. I was very open with my GP and he was really helpful about supporting me - again I guess this will depend on your GP. Make sure you ask for a reassurance scan - they may refuse but you may get one. If not, there are some reasonably priced private scans out there. There is a great pregnancy-after-miscarriage thread which provides lots of handholding and support as well here on mumsnet, it has got me through a lot of crazy days. Good luck!!!

oops, sorry for double post

Yes I would tell your doctor as soon as possible. S/he may well be able to get you a reassurance scan (don't ask for one before 7 weeks as even healthy pregnancies are hard to check before that).
They will also be able to inform your MW team that you have had losses and are therefore anxious, many trusts have counselling etc' available (though not everywhere).

As Moomin says if, sadly, you did have a 3rd loss, having documented medical notes as early as possible is extremely helpful for getting tests and for when they are doing the tests. However after 2 losses you have a very high chance of everything being OK! :) Like, 80% or so, the same as any other woman.

... research and trials in Denmark have also shown that HCP knowing and having a sympathetic attitude improves outcomes. No one knows why. But it seems to work.

Hi Olive. I think the answer to this is personal. I waited till over 7 weeks after my first lost because I didn't want to ring back to untell the MW to cancel the appointment. (The first booking in here is 8 weeks so it has to be before that). However my second lost was 12 weeks. I still waited till 7 weeks to book in for the 3rd time. It's illogical I know, but that's the way I felt. I also refused to fill in the given form before the booking in appointment the 3rd time round. It's the one my local trusts gave out and it's very long and detailed about your medical and previous pregnancy history. I just couldn't face filling it in the third time in a year. My MW was very sympathetic about it. I also turned down all the bounty packs at the booking in appointment because I didn't want to go through throwing them away again.

It's a very hard emotionally whichever way you decide.

Thank you everyone. I think I will probably wait till about 8 weeks. Unless something bad happens, fingers crossed everything will go ok this time :)

I was in exactly the same situation as you, and I chose to wait - I think it was around 8 weeks that I made an appointment. It was just the way I felt at the time, I almost didn't want to openly admit to it until a bit further down the line. It must be a very personal thing, and I'm sure there's no 'should' about it - waiting to make an appointment was no problem in terms of doctor's admin.

Tell straight away as after 3, should things go wrong you can be referred for investigations

Thank you for your answers everyone. Much appreciated.

Olive, it's a difficult decision. I was in the same position as you around three years ago. I'd had two MC in a row and then became pregnant a third time - conception seemed easy for us but holding onto the pregnancies wasn't to begin with. I was so worried the third time around and couldn't let myself believe things we're going to be okay, but like someone else said I wanted the doctor to know if I was going to have a third MC so it could be investigated, so I went at around 5 weeks I think. As it happened, that pregnancy was a success and I now have a wonderful little girl - I hope your story works out to be similar. Good luck!