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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

think i may be miscarrying 5+4

45 replies

lizzydripping78 · 31/08/2014 16:42

I'm 5+4 and last night when I went to loo and wiped I had brown blood, over night I had period type pain and this morning and all day this has been red. There has not been any clotting type stuff and its not masses, I have a panty liner in and it seems to be when I wee. The pain seems to have subsided. I hadn't really had what I thought to be pregnancy symptoms, I have had a headache for the past 4 days and felt a bit lightheadedness, my boobs had over the past few days felt a bit pins and needles. Obvs I'm gutted and can't stop crying. I've been lurking about on what would've been my "due" month thread and I made my booking in appnt with midwife I was so excited. Now I feel like a bit of an idiot really. My dp is all hopeful whereas really it is was it is isn't it? Am I meant to do anything as I'm so early? Do I bother the doctors or not? I'm stuck between just wanting to lie in bed and sob and the fact that really I should just feel grateful for what I have, I do have three ace dc,s! And am so lucky I almost feel like I'm being ridiculously silly. I'm just babbling I know now but I just feel so terribly sad and confused and grasping at any tiny bit of hope. I don't even know what I expect anyone to say if they read this. I don't have anyone else in rl to tell as I hadn't told anyone nor do I want to now. Perhaps it's just knowing it's out there among people who may understand how sad I feel,it's like my eyes won't stop leaking.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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ControlGeek · 02/09/2014 16:32

Thanks Lizzy. I have been taking the advice literally too - sprawling on the sofa watching trash on netflix I have a nuisance fibroid which could be contributing to the bleeding, but they can't be sure. They seemed to struggle to make much out to be honest.

The internal scan really isn't that bad - unless they have to go seriously hunting for something, you can't even feel it. They are very good about preserving your dignity the whole while. After 3 x IVFs, I've kind of forgotten what dignity is though - I looked blankly at the scanner when she gave me a gown, until she explained it was so I could take my bottom half off in privacy! I'm keeping everything crossed for you for tomorrow.

kitkat321 · 02/09/2014 20:51

Fingers crossed for you Lizzy - I had 2 miscarriages at 5+4 and my bleeding was pretty heavy both times - very much like a period and quite painful (first time I ended up in hospital).

Fingers crossed for your scan - don't be disheartened if they can't see much at this state - if your hcg levels keep rising then that is probably a better indication at this stage.

spanky2 · 02/09/2014 21:00

I had fresh blood with both my pgs. I had the early scan with ds1, but didn't bother with ds2 as I knew it was the same thing. I also had a dull weird feeling in my tummy/ womb area. I am sorry I can't remember how long for. Fingers crossed for you and a virtual hug.

flopsybunny45 · 02/09/2014 21:59

I had implantation bleeding at 7weeks - early scan showed a bean with a heart beat... this bean in now a healthy 1yo... good luck, it is so so difficult.

Original poster

lizzydripping78 · 03/09/2014 11:22

Thank you everyone for your luck and thoughts x they saw absolutely zero both abdomen and internal, no sac or anything. felt a bit deflated really even though I knew not to expect much. They took bloods for hcg and I'm to go back Friday mid morning. It's hard to be in limbo really isn't it. Not knowing either way makes it so confusing emotionally really. I think my poor dp is finding it quite a struggle, for someone so utterly practical the no straight answer and having to wait is really doing his head in. So I am firmly on the sitting it out and waiting boat, while drinking a lot of tea. Wishing you all in the same boat positive thoughts xxx :)

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ControlGeek · 03/09/2014 12:35

Oh Lizzy how utterly frustrating for you. I'm so sorry they weren't able to find anything. Did they say when you will get your blood results?

I wish there was more support for DPs in this situation. Mine is really struggling too. Friends say he should man up and be strong for me but it really isn't that easy. Our partners are every bit as invested in this as we are, and when it's something you so desperately want it doesn't matter whether you are male or female you are allowed to not be ok.

Original poster

lizzydripping78 · 03/09/2014 13:04

They said they won't bother calling to give me today's result as it means little on its own but when they take Fridays they will ring me later that afternoon with the results of how they compared so I don't have to wait the weekend, some consolation I guess!
My dp has admitted he's gutted and upset which is something and said he doesn't want to talk to much about it, he's got some good friends who I imagine he'll talk to which is good, they seem pretty able to talk to each other about stuff and I imagine he'll feel freer to be honest rather than trying to spare my feelings bless him. It was him who really wanted us to try and he'd been trying to convince me for about two years and I was all meh about it, then I had to have my coil removed due to some weird soft tissue eating bacteria living on it (bit tmi sorry!) so I was like oh go on then as secretly I was up for it but worried how I'd cope. Now all my dc's are at school full time and I've surprised myself by how much of my heart is totally set on it! Bloody typical.

How are you feeling today?

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ControlGeek · 03/09/2014 13:32

It's good your DP is able to talk to his friends. Mine can't talk to anyone at all at the moment. He keeps breaking down, and doesn't want anyone to see.

I've just called the EPU as the pain and bleeding has been getting worse again and I don't want to risk hoping it will get better only to decide after everywhere is closed for the night that actually I need help.

Original poster

lizzydripping78 · 03/09/2014 13:57

Bless you both its so so pants isn't it, glad you've rang epu, are you going in? It's awful, the not knowing one way or another, I hope they see you and there's something they can do for you. There just aren't adequate enough words to express how lost lost and bewildered you feel I know, nor knowing this, is it easy to find the right words to express how I feel for you and anyone else going through the same. I'm just here if you need to let of steam x

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ControlGeek · 03/09/2014 14:34

Thanks Lizzy. I called them over an hour ago, the nurse was with someone but passed a message via the receptionist that she would call me back once she was free. I just tried calling again now asI've had no call back but it's just going through to the epu reception voicemail.

ControlGeek · 03/09/2014 14:55

Ok, just had the call back. Nurse has told me I can take stronger painkillers and to go to a&e if they don't help. Dp has been sent for the painkillers.

Original poster

lizzydripping78 · 03/09/2014 15:03

Hope they help but don't be all stoic! I'm off to get kiddies from school, I hope you feel better x

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Original poster

lizzydripping78 · 03/09/2014 17:09

I did a clear blue dig as they were unable to do urine test this am, they got me to wee before the scan so I couldn't do a decent none watery one after, it was negative, the doctor I saw at epu just called to confirm my bloods from this morning confirm its a no go. :( I've had a good cry, I'm sure I'll have plenty more. Gutted, I was all excited and geared up. For now I need to just lurk and skulk about weeping.
Controlgeek look after yourself, I wish you so so much love and luck for a sticky sticky bean x the same for all you ladies in the awful place that is "limbo" x

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ControlGeek · 03/09/2014 17:32

Oh Lizzy I am so very sorry. I wish I could make it right for you. Please be kind to yourself. Crying is healthy. Make sure you are well looked after xxx

Original poster

lizzydripping78 · 03/09/2014 18:03

Thanks cg, we've had a little boohoo and now dh has gone to see his bestie, he can confide in him without the kids around and not have to be to concerned he's upsetting me. I've kind of been preparing myself since the weekend. Gutted but at least the very small bright side I guess is that we may dtd sometime again soon as bless him he's not been allowed anywhere near me for the fear! It's also weirdly a relief to know I can just feel how I need to feel now and not be up in the air, i shall have to stop lurking on the antenatal thread now and go somewhere more appropriate :) I hope everything is going ok for you and you've got your feet very much up!

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Purplecircle · 03/09/2014 18:17

Oh Lizzy I'm sorry to hear that

spanky2 · 03/09/2014 21:17

Sorry that this has happened to you.

ControlGeek · 04/09/2014 09:23

I miscarried last night. My pg symptoms had been fading throughout the day and I passed tissue last night. EPU can't see me til tomorrow to confirm by scan. I have to keep on with the hormones. All I want to do is stop them though, and get it over with.

Original poster

lizzydripping78 · 04/09/2014 12:19

Oh controlgeek I'm so sorry, it is just so un utterably awful, I understand the wanting to get it over with, my heart goes out to you and your dp, mine is so heartbroken and I know yours is too x I've had a lurk over on body and soul threads where there are lots of ladies it seems who know and are going through the same, perhaps when your able you can go there and talk too? I'm lurking about there mostly for the reassurance that it's ok to feel like I'm losing my marbles with sadness and clinging on to all their hopefulness. I know we all say it but really do, dh too, just huddle together, look after yourselves and have a bloody good sob if you need to and talk about it when your ready.
Me and dh chatted lastnight about all the things that made us feel sad about it, it made us cry but it was good too in a way for me in that I knew he had been thinking and feeling the same as me. It's the not knowing who they could have been you know?
I'm gutted for you both :(

OP posts:

wawabear · 04/09/2014 14:04

I'm so sorry Lizzie. I wish there was something I could say to make it better.

I hope you're being kind to yourself, giving yourself time to grieve and making use of support around you.

Sending you lots of love xxx

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