Advice needed on telling people

[Kent1982]

Hello all
The time has come for me to tell people the news but I'm concerned how. People will be shocked as I have always avoided subject of kids and it's become quite clear people thought I wouldn't have children. To me this is really private and I don't really want people asking me loads of questions and touching my belly etc. I hope I'm not the only odd ball who thinks like this. I just want to tell them and sort of run off or say something along the lines of I'm pregnant but just ignore it and treat me normal, don't think all of a sudden I'm turning in to Mary poppins. Don't get me wrong I'm going to do a great job.

I might be worrying too much as really I'm sure nobody is that interested, it's just the few people I told one looked horrified and the other went straight to touch me, I actually swiped her hand off me. Minor problem I know compared to some but just want things as fuss free as possible. Also I cry all the time in last few weeks so if anyone asks me anything I might start crying and that looks even worse

Has anyone got same worry or experience

I sympathise! In my case, I was quite nervous about being pregnant, and was scared that telling people would make it real, and I'd cry or panic. When I told people, I tried to do it at times when they couldn't react too much, and I tried to be as positive as possible. That seemed to help. I didn't have anyone try to touch me though.

Anyway, you're not being silly at all... Just take it as it comes!

I text my friend at work a pic of my scan. I chose her because I didn't actually need to tell anyone myself. She is loud!! I didn't want to announce it in person I found it easier going to work when everyone knew.

I think that's my issue really, I'm pleased but I feel like I'm supposed to be totally OTT and really it doesn't feel real in my own mind, I feel ok about my friends it's work really I'm concerned about, think I might do it over dinner table throw it out there and get all the questions over at once. And try not to cry lol. I've been looking at the other women hoping one might be too to deflect the questioning from me. Not spotted one so far!!!!

Personally I think its worse when people give you pointless advice that you haven't asked for. On reflection telling people was the easy part.

If you are on FB that is an easy way to tell people from afar, them to congratulate you and it then not to be such a big issue when you see them.

You could even include a photo and the caption.

"Eeeek we are expecting in X, very exciting!
I hope I get more people giving up seats on trains for me and fewer belly grabbers . Going to be an interesting 9 months. This pregnancy thing seems a big roller coaster. Wish me luck "

Congratulations and good luck

I was really nervous about telling people. Told our parents face to face at 12 weeks, close friends and family by phone at 14 weeks. Let parents tell all other family (they enjoyed doing that much more than we would) and Facebook was an easy way of telling everyone else at about 15 weeks.

Telling people wasn't as fun as I thought it would be. I was really nervous of people's reactions. As it turns out, everyone was overwhelmingly positive! (At least they were to our faces, I'm pretty certain opinions were different behind out backs.)

However! Since then I have decided not to care what other people think. We're incredibly happy and I know we'll do a great job. That's all that matters.

I've been thinking about this.

I'm 9 wks and I've told my mum and DH's parents, plus one friend as we were TTC at the same time.

The person I'm most worried about is my sister who is 2 years older than me, married last year and just told me they're going to start trying. I honestly think she'll be horrified that i beat her to it, especially as we just registered our marriage andaren't having the reception until next year.

I think the rest of the family will be the same and wonder what I'm doing with my life...

Anyone meet that kind of reaction?

I have rarely talked about having kids, even to close family and friends and so many of them were surprised or shocked when I gave them my news. I'm nearly 20 weeks and still haven't told friends that I haven't seen in person. I'm not a woo-er or a yey-er, don't particularly like fuss, but that doesn't mean I'm not delighted to be pregnant. I'm sure a small part of the quietness is down to anxiety - not wanting to get overexcited when things might go wrong.

But you cannot control other people's reactions. You just find that some people are very baby orientated and get excited. These people have often been the ones who have gone out of their way to find me a chair or offer some help further down the line, so it's a mixed blessing. As for the touchers, it's very odd to have hands on you. You can always say that you feel a bit tender and people should back off, but you can't prevent it happening completely. I think about three people have copped a feel of me so far but one of them asked!

This is a rather roundabout way of saying don't be worried about being the person you are. You don't have to conform to other's ideas of how an expectant mother should behave and nor are you suddenly public property. And congratulations & best of luck.