What were your reasons for not breast feeding ?

[Firstpregnancy2014]

Did you ever have to justify your reasons to anyone ?
I can't really explain why I don't want to
I just don't want to and I know a lot of people will probably tell me that I should breast feed. But I just don't want to if that makes sense

With dd2 the mw told me that I was making the right decision to ff (history of appalling supply issues/ hospitalisation/ weight loss of 2 babies). They don't all agree with the rules, it made me feel about a million times better!

The reality is that you dont need a reason. Breast isn't always best.

And yes out of my 4 the bf one was the best sleeper, but that's because he's a good sleeper. Nothing to do with how he's fed

Flat nipples
Starving/dehydrated baby
Zero support to make it work

Deciding to formula feed was easy after that. I just couldn't jeopardise my baby's health for one more day.

I always hated the thought of bf and was adamant I was not going to even start doing it. But somehow I started, and am still bf 8 months down the line (though mixed feeding since 3mo). I have even expressed. No way on earth you'd get me anywhere near a pump though!

Absolutely a choice for the individual, and some of the staff on the postnatal ward were Absolutely Ghastly about bf, grabbing my boobs without warning and trying to force DS on. But I would say keep an open mind, your choices may surprise yourself.

I tried to breast feed my first 3 with very little success. The whole thing was agonisingly painful no matter how 'perfect' the latch.

When dd4 came along she had problems that took her off to nicu. Though I wanted to express I was given no help or support in doing so and the milk I did get out never ended up being fed to her!

I'm pregnant with dc5 and considering doing the first feed but my nipples are so painful and sensitive already I can imagine how much it's going to hurt.

My hospital don't provide formula so I'm buying the ready made bottles of aptamil like they used to give you. You can buy them in asda and they're dead handy.

I tried BFing dd and hated every second of it. Ff by day four. This time round im going straight to formula.

Dd is nearing three and currently a vision of health - no allergies, tall, strong, good teeth and hair, seems clever enough for her age. I have no reason to feel any guilt at giving her a healthy, safe alternative To breast milk.

The most important thing is to feed your baby, whether it's formula or breast milk. People tie themselves in knots about benefits of breastfeeding and the World Health Organisation recommendations, but remember those recommendations are aimed at everyone worldwide, including women who don't have access to clean water. Clearly for their babies breastfeeding is very important.

FF babies don't sleep better. DS1 woke two hourly for feeds! Bf DS2 feeds about the same.

My first baby is due next month. My approach to BF is that I'm going to try it and give it a go for as long as I feel able to, but if it doesn't work out then it doesn't work out. I'd like to at least try to get baby to have some colostrum for the first few days if nothing else as I know it's supposed to be particularly rich in antibodies etc. I do think sometimes that the pressure on women to breastfeed is really unhelpful, and some women get made to feel really guilty if they can't / aren't able to. The woman who did the breastfeeding class during my NCT antenatal classes was awful, as she wouldn't even discuss the issue of formula feeding and the whole class was basically a two and a half hour seminar on why breastfeeding is best (with very little class content at all on the practicalities of managing breast feeding). Interestingly I met a friend of mine yesterday who is due her second baby not long after my first is due next month. She exclusively BF her first child but said to me yesterday she found it very painful and tiring at times and this time she's going to do mixed feeding instead, and not put herself under so much pressure as she did last time as she felt it ended up contributing to her developing (mild) PND. I'm going to see how it goes as I say but even if I do find BF okay I'll probably start expressing or having the odd formula bottle feed in there just so DH can do some of the feeds as well and give me a break sometimes.

It's your choice. You don't have to bf and you don't have to explain or justify yourself to anyone.

Having said that I think decisions should be informed. Bf does not ruin breasts, pregnancy has done that already, there is no correlation between babies that sleep well and ff or the other way round, bf does have benefits that ff does not have both in passing on antibodies and in protecting from various conditions such as allergies, asthma, bowel and gastrointestinal conditions but as with all statistical facts this doesn't tell you anything about individuals (that some individual bf babies will have asthma while some ff babies will not doesn't negate the statistical trend).

If you don't want to, then don't! Its quite hard work at first.

Having said that, it makes life a bit easier later - no washing up, and you don't have to worry about bottles/formula when you go out anywhere.

Its a bit of a bastard really - hard when you've just given birth, totally knackered, emotional and in pain - easy when they're a bit older and sleeping better

I bf my DD because it is free and I found it to be less hassle in the night, but I think judgmental attitudes come depending on the trends and thinking of where you are. My MIL seemed surprised and a little uncomfortable with the idea of me bf. She was encouraged to ff in her time by HCP. As long as you and baby are healthy and happy, no worries, just get on with it and don't even try to justify you reasons! Just smile and nod and continue on your way

I wasn't overly keen on the idea - I can't really explain why not, but there's no part of me that thinks "ooh, that sounds like a lovely idea" (just like there is not part of me that wants a vaginal birth - I'm clearly not an earth mother either )

I was also concerned before DD was born that if I bf, I would be the only person capable of feeding her. I knew that DP would be working silly shifts and there would regularly be no one around to help me at all during the day, and if I was bf then there would really be no break at all for months. If I knew he would be at home every morning, every evening and all weekend, I might have considered it - I think it would help enormously knowing that someone was there to at least get you dinner, or a cup of tea in bed, or do some housework. But even before DD was born I just instinctively felt that I wouldn't cope with day after day of trying to bf a baby and get them to sleep without ever really having someone there to support me with all the practical things that needed doing too.

I knew with a ff baby, DP would be able to look after the baby entirely on his own and give me the break I wasn't getting while he was working.

I know plenty of women bf in that situation but I suppose that, combined with a lack of an overwhelming desire to do it, was enough for me to make a decision I thought best for everyone's sanity, really. I don't regret the decision at all, and unless things change radically by the time I have another DC, I'll ff from birth again then.

There's a few myths on here regarding breastfeeding but overall it's your decision. The WHO and NHS recommend it for a reason and that is based on peer reviewed scientific literature. If you really don't want to that's ok, we are lucky enough to live in a country with clean water so you can formula feed safely. Just be careful not to base your decision on myths and non-facts.

I'm only a few weeks pregnant but had a friend who had a baby a while back and I was shocked at how unpleasant I found her breastfeeding.... I know this sounds awful but it made me feel ill, it was like watching a cow milking her udders. She also got them out everywhere - eg was breastpumping in the back of my car. Yuk.

In many ways, bravo to her as breastfeeding made her happy and her baby so what I think is irrelevant, but personally I would hate making my friends feel similar/ uncomfortable, plus it really messes with my head that I might look like and feel like a cow. I'm not a feeding machine, I'm a person.

If I try and do it I'd really aim to only do it morning/evening at home and try and mix with bottle feed as a result. I'm not keen but am prepared to try and keep an open mind.

I also think that breastfeeding can create a 'thing' between mum and baby that the dad can feel a bit excluded from. I certainly saw that with my friend who's other half felt very angry about the fact she would only breastfeed. TBH I think she used it as a control thing over him, they split up soon after the baby came.

My DH has never felt threatened about me bf, there are plenty of ways to bond with the baby. He does most of the nappy changes!

But seriously, he plays with DS, pushes his pram, chats to him. It's not all about feeding.

I Didn't want to, tried because I was put under pressure but baby wouldn't feed any way (she has sn)
I mix fed second for a short time
Bf third for 18 long bloody months

If you don't want to breastfeed, don't. You are a fully grown woman, in charge of your own body
DO NOT BE BULLIED BY OTHER WOMEN
Gah!

Managed 1 colostrum feed, then DD wouldn't latch on anymore. Nipple shields, bf support etc - still nothing. Switched to formula and she's perfect. Sleeps great, very healthy, alert and active, and it ended up being for the best. I went on tablets at 8 weeks pp that would've stopped me bf, and I'm back at uni when she's 5mo so would've had to stop before 6 months.

The worst thing is the sanctimonious rubbish about bf mums bonding better with their babies - can't imagine feeling closer to DD, and feeds are the best as I feel so close to her :)

You don't need mammaries to be a great mama

Pobble I don't think my friend wanted him to bond with the baby, which was probably the problem, more than the bf in itself - her boobs were just another weapon as such. As someone whose parents divorced when I was young, I found this desperately sad. In an ideal world a kid has two parents who both want each other to be part of their babies lives..

Tbh you shouldn't have to justify your reasons to anyone.
You just didn't want to is reason enough tbh.

We all knows breast is best but mothers have other options i.e. formula these days it would have been wet nurses for rich mums who didn't want to breastfeed in Victorian times so not breastfeeding isn't a new age phenomenon as some would have you believe

I do sometimes get annoyed that someone saying they tried but couldn't is acceptable to pro breastfeeders but saying just didn't want to isn't.

They're your breasts at the end of the day you get to choose what to do with them and I say this as someone who bf.

As long as your feeding your baby don't worry. Some women genuinely don't like the sensation of it.

For what it's worth I bfed for 3 years but for me, and this is a very personal thing, it was never a very special moment with my DD. It was convenient, in some ways easy in some ways a nightmare, it helped a lot if she was crying, etc but I didn't find it bonding as such. I felt a strong bond to DD as soon as she was born that had nothing to do with bf and to be honest I think she has her own relationship with my breasts which can be mildly annoying (constant requests to touch, kiss them, cuddle them). So it can be just a way to feed you baby and not the end all and be all of your relationship.

tried BF my first baby, but he really struggled and was losing weight, he was diagnosed with autism when he was four and has a lot of problems with eating still (he's nearly 10), he has only this year started eating proper food but struggles alot with chewing.... which I think had something to do with why he struggled with BF, he struggled with FF too, I used to have to squeeze the teat to drip it into his mouth bit by bit.

He used a straw for the first time last week (yay!!) he couldn't work out how to suck the drink up before now.

I BF my younger two, I actually liked BF, but you have to do what is right for you and your baby.

I knew I'd never be able to do it in public . Doesn't bother me at all when other people do I would just be too self conscious . Also I wanted dh to help with feeding without having to express